[WePow]

So not only has T's furnature all changed... and his old couch is in the other room where I can see it but not sit.... along with his old chair...
but work is also playing re-destroy the world along with my desk for 10 yrs... I seriously HATE HATE HATE HATE LIFE!!!

[granite1]

remember how you had such a hard time when T moved his office.i know change is hard but you will be ok. are you able to have some input in how your office is being decorated.

It could be worse--much worse. It could be the T they are changing instead of just the furniture ! You could be without a job! Furniture is just the decoration; T is the substance; YOU are the substance. I know you know that, but sometimes we just have to remind ourselves to put things into perspective.

They literally have torn down the building I have worked in for the last 11 years, including auctioning off all the furniture and bringing in brand new furniture to this completely brand new building. We have a brand new principal this year. The district changed the online grading program we have used for quite a few years so we are having to learn a brand new (and entirely not user friendly) program. Seemingly everything is changed and it IS very stressful. I try to put it into perspective though. I still have those wonderful teenagers walking into my classroom needing to learn each day. THEY are what are really is important; what I do each day within these brand new walls is what is really important. The rest is all trappings. Perspective.

[sweepy62]

Sorry to hear that farmer girl I hate change as well and do do well coping with it I get how u feel hugs

Change doesn't always have to be bad, can you look at the positive side of the changes? Look at this as a new chapter ?

I'm sorry WePow, I do not do change well either. Your T would be a great consistent object to focus on. Sometimes it helps me to do this. Hang in there and try to do whatever you can to keep yourself grounded.

For me until I got a more secure sense of self, then I needed the world around me to remain static. As I grew stronger inside I could tolerate the fliud nature of things.

[SallyBrown]

Sorry WePow . I also hate change.

Can you take some time this weekend to be a little self-indulgent? It sucks when changes that we have no control over start happening, but maybe you can take extra care of yourself when not directly faced with those changes.

pictures, pictures and more pictures. have t take pictures. i really helps.

[WePow]

i broke down at work....again... but this time i totally dissociated and barely was able to stay safe... was in serious trouble ... one alter wrote t an email saying thank for all he had done to try to help us... next thing i know i am ontop the roof at work huddled in the corner crying ... wailing... dissociated.... my t was calling on the cell and i could not figure out how to answer the phone... finally was able to do it and he had called my s/o for me and my boss... no idea how he had my bosses number! then i made it down stairs to wait on my s/o and was out of it.., she found me curled up in my cars back seat wailing...
some lady from the building across the road heard me screaming an was also checking on me.... then my s/o took me to my Ts office. He was on his way in and I was watching myself from far away some of the time but mostly not even aware... another T in a different office heard me crying and she had my s/o take me back with her. She was having me smell lavendar and held my hand until my T came and got me.
i kept dissociating into an infant state of wailing but finally T got me grounded and safe.
They were all there when I was not able to do it.

The change thing is hitting a very deep pre-verbal alter who was abused at a few months old when mom had to be in the hospital for five days. It is a horrid pain that hurts so deeply I cant describe it. but i have support and know i can make it

[SallyBrown]

Your pain and terror come through so clearly, WePow. I'm so glad you have support -- you most certainly can make it.

[WePow]

today I am exhausted.. had to go pick up my car from work... massive anxiety
so glad for my T

[unaluna]

hope you're doing better