Shame, Shame, Shame

Does anyone remember this song/hand clapping game from elementary school days?

Shame, shame, shame
I don't want to go to Mexico no more, more, more
There's a big fat policeman at the door, door, door
he will grab you by the hips,
kiss you on the lips,
I don't want to go to mexico no more more more
SHAME ON YOU!
(The two girls race to yell "SHAME ON YOU!" in each others faces, whoever says is louder/first gets to hit the other one on the forehead, but generally both girls get hit by the other anyway.)

I woke up with this in my head and it startled me.

How it really does demonstrate the nature of shame. I mean, in this scenario, the girls are basically getting sexually assaulted and yet THEY are the ones who feel shame and beat each other up over it.

It just suddenly seemed really relevant. And sick. And weird.

I never heard of that game. It sounds not very fun.

Where did you learn that song?

On the playground in elementary school. Didn't you learn songs like that? Most of them are just silly:

"Cind-a-rell-a dressed in yell-a
went upstairs to kiss a fell-a
made a mistake
kissed a snake
how many doctors did it take?"

Or

"Miss Lucy had a steamboat
the steamboat had a bell
Miss Lucy went to heaven
the steamboat went to
hell-o operator, please give me number 9
and if you disconnect me, I'll kick you in the
behind the 'fridgerator there was a piece of
glass glass glass
Miss Lucy sat upon it and broke her little
As-k me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies
Miss Lucy's in the bathtub with 50 naked guys!"

I could go on and on. Don't all children have hand clapping and jump roping songs and games?

I just woke up thinking about the mexico one the other day because it's especially relevant to me and my therapy.

My T said that one day (in the future, not right now) she wants me to write down all of "the bad stuff" and read it out loud to her.
I reacted very strongly against this and told her it sounded sick and like torture and accused her of just being morbidly curious. And then I was thinking about how ashamed I was of it all and then I was thinking about how most of it had been done to me, so really *I* shouldn't be ashamed but the OTHER people who did it TO me should be ashamed.

But how it never seems to work like that, and even knowing that doesn't really help at all, because I'm still the one with the shame, still the one beating myself up over what happened, still blaming myself, just like the girls in that song.

I did not play much with other children. I tried to avoid other children as much as possible except when my mother insisted and even then I never understood what the other children were doing or why they were doing it so I usually just stood and thought about other things. I remember seeing children playing jump rope games but I did not pay much attention. At elementary recess, unless interfered with by some annoying adult, I walked the perimeter of the playground over and over until the time ended. Sometimes I could them to give me a ball and I could dribble it as I walked.

I didn't seem to fit in with other children either, stopdog.

I would try, I would get a turn at turning jump rope, but when the girl messed up and got her feet tangled in the rope somehow it was always my fault. Or they wouldn't let me play at all. By the time I was in 3rd grade I would generally just sit somewhere and read.

It was a happy day when they would let me read a book and sometimes I could volunteer to work in the school library during recess, but usually they took books away from you if they caught you with one.

that's not right at all. taking books away from students is horrible.

I spent every lunch period in high school in the library and it was wonderful. Sadly this wasn't an option before then.

Well, it sounds really horrible when you put it like that. It's not like they took the books away forever or said we weren't allowed to read them. They just wanted to encourage us to socialize and develop social skills. It would be kind of remiss of them to not encourage students to branch out and work on their areas of trouble. Sure, I hated it at the time, and I never did fit in, but I bet that I get along better today than I would have if they didn't sometimes take away my books.

This is where I became quite obdurate. They could take the books away and they could make me stand there with other children near me and they could make me jump the stupid rope or what ever and they could do those sorts of things, but they could not make me agree to it or do it internally. They could get my body but not my mind. I was not going to fall for their machinations. I finally started getting friends around high school.

And elementary and junior high were horrible. I threw up almost every day. No one bullied me or anything - I was too weird for that. Or perhaps they tried and I just did not notice.

I threw up in early elementary school. what WAS that all about, anyway? as far as bullying, kids were amateurs compared to the family, so even if they tried, heck they were nobodies. I had bigger problems. or so I thought.

Is it the meaning of the song that is with you or the song and playground stuff?

The meaning of the song, definitely. But it seems like no one else here remembers it or has heard it...

I am sorry no one remembers it.