[lostmyway21]

Ever yell at there T stop yelling at them?

We were on of our walks, he brought up a boundaries talk. Which always turns hostile. I felt immidiatly angry and upset, but at the same time I felt he was frustrated, which he confirmed.

The rest is a blur. I remember feeling backed into a corner and YELLING at him to stop yelling at me. He quickly took it down to a level that I could barely hear him. Maybe he was just raising his voice a little to get a point across. To let me know it was no longer acceptable. Maybe he didn't? Idkk.

I wonder why I reacted so harshly to him? Anyone else ever YELL at there T?

I have not yelled at my T ...but I may have if he was yelling at me....

I would not react well to my xT raising his voice at me...it would trigger too many feelings from my childhood...sometimes when we are triggered we may hear things the way "they used to be" and not even how they were...

[lostmyway21]

I think that's what happened I yelled at him twice not to yell at me the first time said he wasn't and the second I got really adamant so he got really quiet.

[SoupDragon]

I think I would run if my T yelled at me, but wish I would be able to yell back.

[lostmyway21]

Maybe it was the may I was perceiving it? Maybe he wasn't actually yelling and I yelled at him for no reason.

[lostmyway21]

NO he was definitly getting loud or he wouldn't adjusted himself.

You may have been perceiving it wrong. You said the rest was a blur. I've done that, thought T was yelling at me and she was not yelling at all. It was just projection stuff.

I have yelled at her though. Basically, she just let me yell.

[Miswimmy1]

maybe you took it as yelling. i know when i am defensive and mad, i think ppl are yelling at me when they aren't, that they are mad at me when they aren't, etc.

I think it was fine that you yelled at t. it let him know how you were really feeling, and that will assist both of you in the long run. honesty is key. hopefully he knows how to work with this, and you guys will get thru it.

I have nvr yelled at my t, but she has offered to let me. haha

Kind of sounds like you perceived him yelling at you when that isn't what was really happening. Perhaps a more forceful tone seemed to you like yelling? Maybe you just didn't like his message and felt scolded so you interpretted that as yelling? Sounds like when you said he was yelling, he disagreed but lowered his voice to barely audible (which would indicate that in fact he wasn't yelling in the first place or he would have just gone down to a "normal" tone of voice instead of barely audible).

[Victoria'smom]

A change in tone of voice I perceive as anger and yelling. When I start yelling my husband does that whispering voice thing. It drives me up the wall. I have yet to yell at my T but I have yelled. I don't put it passed me to yell at T but I worry if I do T will terminate me.

[unaluna]

my definition of yelling is not the same as the real world's at all, or else everybody is lying, which could also be true. but I will admit I am supersensitive to "yelling" in whatever form. if you're not happy with me, that's yelling.

[lostmyway21]

No my form of yelling was we were in the park, and tourists probably looked over at (us, me, idk)....that kind of yelling.