[ObLaDa]

First post -- anxious to get feedback. A little background: I've been seeing my t for a little over a year. She's helped me through a lot and is watching me get and stay sober.

Today she helped me process an event that happened nearly 10 years ago. But as the anniversary of said event is this weekend, I always find myself reliving the thoughts and emotions I felt back then. Usually these thoughts are manageable, but as I have less than 90 days sober, they're jeopardizing my ability to stay sober. So I wanted to talk everything over, and we did. She said it made her angry and upset about how the situation -- how I, as a human being -- was handled. And then she started to tear up and nearly cried.

I'm touched at her kindness and compassion. I'm grateful she's sticking up for me and my best interests, even though its after the fact and neither of us can change what happened. Except now I don't know how to handle the fact that she nearly cried. Don't get me wrong -- I think she is amazing and I am so grateful for how she's helped me.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? What did you do to handle it?

[bamapsych]

Originally Posted by ObLaDa

First post -- anxious to get feedback. A little background: I've been seeing my t for a little over a year. She's helped me through a lot and is watching me get and stay sober.

Today she helped me process an event that happened nearly 10 years ago. But as the anniversary of said event is this weekend, I always find myself reliving the thoughts and emotions I felt back then. Usually these thoughts are manageable, but as I have less than 90 days sober, they're jeopardizing my ability to stay sober. So I wanted to talk everything over, and we did. She said it made her angry and upset about how the situation -- how I, as a human being -- was handled. And then she started to tear up and nearly cried.

I'm touched at her kindness and compassion. I'm grateful she's sticking up for me and my best interests, even though its after the fact and neither of us can change what happened. Except now I don't know how to handle the fact that she nearly cried. Don't get me wrong -- I think she is amazing and I am so grateful for how she's helped me.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? What did you do to handle it?

Maybe she was modeling for you. This may or may not be the case. You could ask her at your next session and I'm sure she'd be glad to discuss it with you in an honest fashion.

Last week when I brought it to T's attention that I only have 2 appointment left, I think she may have had a strong reaction towards me. We have been trying to terminate for a while now. It's been discussed since the beginning of my therapy since I was traumatized by abrupt termination previously by an intern. I just don't think she was expecting me to be ready now. I'm sure she must have been a little shocked lol. She politely said that she was hungry and then excused herself. She came back after about 3-4 minutes with some crackers and water. For almost a year of weekly sessions, she has NEVER had to leave the room for any reason. This could be coincidence or maybe not?

Only once. My T showed that kind of emotion when my sister was dying and I was so very distraught. You asked how did I handle it? Well really, I didn't have to. HE handled it by sharing what the session was bringing up for him. For him, it brought back memories of losing his cousin some 30 years ago. They were very close and he related personally to the utter pain I was in at that moment. It was okay. He's human, and it was comforting in a way to know he truly understood that kind of pain I was in at that moment.

[sconnie892]

It sounds like you have a very caring t.

While my t has never cried in session, I have has times where I've looked at her and seen extreme compassion in her expression and her eyes have looked a bit watery. I have not mentioned anything about it, but it always makes me feel like she really cares about me. And although I've never cried in a session, it makes me feel like it would be safe to do so.

[WePow]

My T has also responded with legit emotions a few times. It is very rare. But it showed me that his heart is in the room with me when we are talking about those difficult things.

[bamapsych]

T's need some type of emotional release too. We sometimes forget that they are human. It's always been a goal for me to be able to cry in therapy or anywhere really, but it hasn't happened yet. I've often fantasized how much I want T to cry WITH me. If she ever cried over something, would my deep feelings for her cause me to cry (hopefully)? If I cried first, I wouldn't be able to stand it if she just sat there and stared at me. I'd need her to cry with me.

I have never experienced this but my T is a male and if he ever started crying , I think I would either run over there and hug him to try and comfort him or make some joke to lighten the mood. I can't handle men crying.

t cried once and it freaked me out. i felt so guilty. that i was so bad, i could make the t cry. he hasn't done it sense.
i want him to feel emotions, just not that one...

My t has cried a few times. It touches my heart very deeply and makes a big difference to me.

[bamapsych]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

My t has cried a few times. It touches my heart very deeply and makes a big difference to me.

I wish I had your T It seems like y'all have such a deep and real relationship.

[SoupDragon]

3 times I have noticed my T have tears in his eyes - it freaked me out, made me feel responsible for making him sad.

[Anne2.0]

I think my T has reacted to me emotionally a few times, with great tenderness, but the one thing that really stands out was when he told me that his neck was hurting in the same spot that mine was hurting. He told me this at the end of session, that he had felt the neck pain that I was talking about, and he chose not to do anything to make it disappear. That it was a gift to him to be able to experience this little piece of my world, or something like that. And I'm not sure exactly what he meant but I know that when my work involves very intense, emotional issues and when people work hard to explain their experience, it IS a gift to be a part of that process. It's sort of like how extreme athletes talk about what it's like to stretch their physical capabilities as far as they can. Doing this work requires T's to stretch their emotional capacities to the limit. Maybe allowing themselves to feel what we feel is the same thing.

[ObLaDa]

Thanks everyone. I think my t is awesome and I trust her a lot, but it took a while to get here.

I think her emotion and compassion showed me that she's on my side -- she's the first person I've ever felt was like that. It took me some time to figure that out. Now I just don't know what to do with that knowledge...

Originally Posted by ObLaDa

Thanks everyone. I think my t is awesome and I trust her a lot, but it took a while to get here.

I think her emotion and compassion showed me that she's on my side -- she's the first person I've ever felt was like that. It took me some time to figure that out. Now I just don't know what to do with that knowledge...

Hm.... Can you just acknowledge it and accept it?
I am glad you feel that your t is on your side