[lifelongsojourn]

So this is a bit hard for me to explain, but lately I cannot seem to figure out whether I feel like I need my T so much (2-3 sessions a week) as a result of feeling overly attached to her (which is painful in itself and deserves support but how much support is no longer helpful, right?) or whether I truly need her help for my ED related issues that I originally sought her expertise for. In the past year or so, I have become increasingly dependent and it has been very painful and makes me feel very ashamed because as someone with a disability, I have learned to navigate many challenges on my own that most people don't know about. My T also tells me I'm "stronger than I think I am" which feels very invalidating when I ask her for support and she has no idea what I've been through. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense but I don't know how to figure out whether I would still want or need her support if I wasn't so attached because I've never really wanted support from those who I'm not overly attached to. I am actually very independent in my day to day life. I guess I was just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and how they overcame or how their therapist responded.

[tealBumblebee]

While I can not necessarily relate, I would say ask T her stance on if you're having "too much" therapy. Good luck!

Have you considered cutting back on your sessions to one a week instead of two or three? You might find you can manage with not quite as frequent sessions since you do say you are very independent in your day to day living. It might give you some clarity about what degree of help you need from your therapist.

I think you can still feel attached to someone AND manage your own disability.

[BayBrony]

Its hard to say without knowing more about you. For me, I have finally come to realize as I am forming healthy attachments for the first time is that the feeling of being attached was overwhelming for me. Not because attachment is bad, but because for me it was linked with abuse and my parents warped thinking. To carry love inside myself to me meant putting myself in danger. I had to slowly, by living out my attachment to my T , learn that it was NOT dangerous and the bad feelings were from my inability to let go of those negative scripts. So for me, the horrid , overwhelming place where I felt miserable and "too attached" was just a necessary stop on my journey.

[therapyishelping777]

Baybrony,, so well said.. It IS scary processing through healthy attachement and the feeling of being "needy". I had no attachement, no affection or care growing up., so.. just the proccess of internalizing something different without feeling a burden is somewhat hard to go through..but safe hopefully and worth it.. you put this well. Thanks

[TrailRunner14]

I agree! It has been a really hard thing for me to understand without being overwhelmed.

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