Tough couple of days--could use some help plz

My t has said its ok if i find someone to talk to her inbetween times of tlaking to her. Its me thats refusing. I have the best t, and i bave tried a bunch of others. Other t's just dont even come close, are not even in the same league as her. Plus again, theres the money thing. Like the fact that i have none.

My husband, yep he is a t. He is also very...um... Dominating and controlling. He says that our ilves are no one elses business. I would be in huge trouble if he knew i even mentioned him online or in therapy. He will not even let me submit anonymous prayer requests at church asking people in our 10,000 member church to pray for me/us/people in our family for things that are going on. So marriage counseling is way out of the question.... Its really ok woth me anyway....i mean,my husband isnt going to change. He doesnt want to, and he doesnt think that he has anything wrong with him, and he thinks he is always right.

I did find some old emails from T in a folder on my computer that helped a little to read them. T suggested to keep looking at pictures of us from our vacation. Sometimes it helps to look at them and sometimes it just makes me sad (cuz i miss her so much). T gave me a handmade doll and some things out of her house, and i have been sleeping with the doll this week to try to feel closer to t.

Somewhere in this house i have a couple of those recordable story books that t and i made together before she moved away. We alternated reading pages. I need to find those so i can hear her voice more when she isnt here.