My T called today to see how I am doing and if I am getting any support as I have been in crisis and I am being seen by my crisis team, After this conversation with her she went on to say is it ok for her to phone my Pdoc next week and also she wants our therapy to come to a close

I feel devastated and let down, I always knew this was short term but I had become attached to her lately and I thought she cared, I think maybe I told her too much on the phone that my Pdoc plans on giving me more therapy (DBT)

She did ask how I feel about this, I just said that I haven't really thought about it but now I have I will miss it.

[adel34]

Hi Tinkerbell,
I'm so sorry this happened! What a time for her to tell you this, when you're in a fragile place to begin with. In any case, I do think continuing in therapy of some kind is what you need to do. I hope DBT helps you.

Can you ask her why she wants to end therapy? Knowing this will help with closure.

I hope you get to see her in person a few more times to work through this. It will help make the process easier.

[Miswimmy1]

i hope that you can talk to her about this. it will make things easier and smooth the transition. my thoughts are with you!

Thanks.

I will get to see her to talk about this I hope, I don't want to leave I was beginning to trust her and now I have to start over again.

[Anne2.0]

I had to find a new T when my old T became my colleague at my old job. And I found out about this (had no idea it was coming) at a big meeting, he didn't even tell me himself.

I also restarted therapy last year after a 15 year hiatus. With both new T's, it was really not starting over again. You just kind of pick up where you are, and if for some reason either new T feels or you feel the need for some background, you can provide it. But it's not a do-over, in my experience, but I think that conceptualizing it that way makes getting a new T seem more daunting.

Thanks.

I didn't think this would upset me like this, Maybe I don't deserve the help, I am too ill I think.

[mixedup_emotions]

Tinkerbell, that is the pain talking....

Try to allow yourself to feel what you're feeling....and be sure to share all of these feelings with your T. Let your T help you work through it....It's important. Don't try to sabotage yourself with thoughts...

Originally Posted by Tinkerbell..

Thanks.

I didn't think this would upset me like this, Maybe I don't deserve the help, I am too ill I think.

Tinkerbell, I suspect that she's feeling that the CBT has run its course and that the idea of DBT for you is probably more the type of therapy you need. I doubt highly that this is about you not deserving the help; sounds like your inner voice talking, not the therapist.

Originally Posted by Tinkerbell..

Thanks.

I didn't think this would upset me like this, Maybe I don't deserve the help, I am too ill I think.

I'm very sorry this is turning out in a way you don't want. You have a right to be upset. Tell yourself: "I Deserve Help, And I'm Gonna Get It!"

Please don't cheat yourself ! Tinkerbell

Thanks.

I am upset, I feel angry at her too for doing this it has just come out of nowhere.

[Nightlight]

I'm almost positive that my four year therapy relationship has just come to an abrupt end too. It is hard to lose those sources of support, those who have seen parts of us that no one else has seen, and who help us along in our difficult journeys.

I'm sure this is not about your therapist not caring though. I'm sure she does care and that she wants you to get the best help you can. That doesn't reduce how upsetting and devastating it feels though. I know all too well! I am sorry about the way she told you though. I know they have to say it somehow, if that's what they think...and I guess there's no easy way to say it, but it does sound tough to cope with. I hope you get some relief when you next talk to her too.

Originally Posted by Tinkerbell..

Thanks.

I am upset, I feel angry at her too for doing this it has just come out of nowhere.

It doesn't seem to have come out of nowhere though. You were told from the onset that your CBT therapy would be time-limited. Just recently your pdoc (I believe) gave the opinion that you would be served well by DBT, and you shared that information with your therapist. You have been in crisis and have had to have hospital intervention a couple of times fairly recently because of SI (maybe suicide attempts, not sure) which is perhaps a strong indication that the CBT may not be the best therapy for your current issues (which is why DBT seems to have been recommended). It sounds like all of this is coming together and your T feels that your pdoc's recommendations may be best to follow since you have placed your safety in jeopardy several times recently under her care with CBT. She really has to do something different or your safety will continue to be in jeopardy. Honestly, this doesn't seem like a surprising move. DBT probably is a better therapy match for the kind of issues you are experiencing, and your T is doing what may need to be done to best help you and keep you safe.

[unaluna]

Yeah I agree with farmergirl but boy her timing or delivery coulda been better. Btw love your Santa kitty pic too cute.

[stopdog]

I think it was not good to deliver this information by telephone instead of at an appointment.

Thanks

farmergirl, Reading what you have said makes perfect sense to me but it is bad timing, I am going to try and ask her can she extend the sessions, I don't feel I have got anything out of it.

I agree stopdog.

[taylor43]

I think it is so good you are going to ask her to extend your sessions, as you do need her at this time.I feel it was wrong timing for t to bringing this up as you are going through a tough time ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))