Do you remember what your T looks like?

Now that I think about it some more, I realize that I DO remember what my T looks like, it's the ability to let the visualization of her last and continue to comfort me when not in her presence, that is hard. I can picture her (in her office, of course) with her glasses, her clothing, her jewelry and scarves...and how she always puts this big scarf on her as a blanket because she's cold (want to use it too), her hair, and when she smiles and how cute she looks when she does...ok I could go on, but I am obsessed. ANYWAY, I CAN remember what she looks like, BUT it doesn't help to soothe me if I'm not actually physically there with her. I believe the topics of object permanence and self-soothing go hand in hand. Any thoughts?

I do remember what she looks like, but it took about a year to be able to do that. the first few months, i couldn't even remember what her whole office looked like, let alone her. pictures do not help me 'cause she, in person, looks different than in photos.

I do. I love looking at her. I try and memorize everything about her when I am in session. I have had sessions when I haven't been able to look at her the whole time, or have difficulty looking at her, but I try very hard to keep her appearance memorized so I have it in my mind during the week.

The one thing that I have skewed about the way she looks is her height. In my mind I imagine she is 6 feet tall; sometimes I have even imagined myself only coming up to her stomach, like she is some sort of giant, but this is not true. When I am leaving and she is right behind me, I always look back to say something to her, and we are about the same height; when I wear heels I am taller. I am sure my thinking she is so tall is because I look up to her and see her as a mother figure (hence me sometimes imagining I only come up to her stomach). I have been meaning for some time to ask her how tall she is....

I have this issue for awhile with new therapists too. I still can't picture my last T, but if I saw her on the street and she came up to me, I would recognize her, probably by her voice. But since Ts can't come up to us, I don't know if I would know who she was at all. I only worked with her for a short period of time though. I have DID and I always thought that was the reason though. But this object permanence sounds interesting. I don't know what my doctor looks like either and I've worked with him for three years. I always get worried about if I witness a crime, because I would never be able to tell people what anyone looked like because I can't remember faces at all. I don't even know what George Clooney looks like or Christina Aguilara. I am terrible at it. I get so embarrassed, because people are like "seriously you don't know who Meryl Streep is?" I know WHO she is, I just couldn't pick her up out of a line up.

I believe the topics of object permanence and self-soothing go hand in hand. Any thoughts?

Very much in hand I would say. One thing I would add is that both of these functions needn't be only visual. For a time my T used to allow me to remain in the room to settle myself after sessions while he went off to dictate notes, etc. I was his last client of the day.

I found it incredibly helpful to switch to sit in his chair: the chair was warm and allowed me to feel held; it also rocked, and the rhythm helped me to self-soothe. I would carry that body memory feeling with me, and it was more powerful for me than a visual memory.