[northgirl]

I have my last individual therapy appointment in the morning, though I'll continue working with my T in the new year as part of a CSA group. Been with T for over a year, and it's not been easy, but I'm ready to have a break. I just can't anticipate how hard it will be to not work on anything tomorrow, to focus on our relationship, how hard it is to end something that has almost always been good. Especially hard to accept is the fact that T expressed a wish that we could work together for longer, but there are session limits at my university. I wish this was easier

Anybody have suggestions for anything that might help?

[Sannah]

You are going to be sad (correct?). This is normal. I'm glad that you can still see her in group, though. Do you have any support? Post here a lot?

[~EnlightenMe~]

I wish you the best (((north))).

[geez]

(((north))) Not being able to continue your therapy with your T that you like is a loss. It's normal to grieve that loss but it's not easy. I find goodbye's to be very hard especially when the relationship had a major importance in my life.

[northgirl]

I don't want to believe it's over. I think now the hard part will be to not regret not making more out of the time we did have together. I had so many feelings and emotions that I probably didn't want to admit to myself, and for sure were impossible to say to T.

[geez]

Originally Posted by northgirl

I don't want to believe it's over. I think now the hard part will be to not regret not making more out of the time we did have together. I had so many feelings and emotions that I probably didn't want to admit to myself, and for sure were impossible to say to T.

Would it help to write all your thoughts down? I think it could possibly help you. Perhaps you can bring your written thoughts with you to therapy with a new T? I know how scary it is and difficult. It's tough not being able to see the T you felt connected to.

[~EnlightenMe~]

You will be able to get past this. It just takes time.

[northgirl]

Thanks everyone for your care and support. I'm such a logical person sometimes to a fault to the point of letting my rationalization override my emotional experience. "just business" is how I tried to approach it, even when T focused on our relationship. I feel bad for minimizing our connection in that way. I really do hope to find a new T at some point, or even really hope that he might go into private practice to avoid the university regulations. Not that I want to be in therapy, per se, but as he put it, "there's a lot there" and I don't want to think where I'd be without it.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by northgirl

Thanks everyone for your care and support. I'm such a logical person sometimes to a fault to the point of letting my rationalization override my emotional experience. "just business" is how I tried to approach it, even when T focused on our relationship. I feel bad for minimizing our connection in that way. I really do hope to find a new T at some point, or even really hope that he might go into private practice to avoid the university regulations. Not that I want to be in therapy, per se, but as he put it, "there's a lot there" and I don't want to think where I'd be without it.

I think intellectualizing can be a defense against overwhelming emotions. Could you have minimized the connection to keep from possibly getting hurt? This would be good to discuss with your new therapist should you decide.to get one. I wish you the best of luck. Keep posting, and let us know how it goes.

[feralkittymom]

Originally Posted by northgirl

I don't want to believe it's over. I think now the hard part will be to not regret not making more out of the time we did have together. I had so many feelings and emotions that I probably didn't want to admit to myself, and for sure were impossible to say to T.

If you're going to continue to work with this T in a group setting, you could think about writing your feelings in a letter for him. It might give you a sense of closure about this chapter of your relationship.