[WhiteClouds]

Hello,
Well after my post yesterday several things occurred. In my desperation of trying my darndest to stay within professional boundaries. I called my T to ask if it is okay to buy a small gift for everyone in the office. He returned the call, I was out shopping. I did leave him a follow up message today.

Last night my husband reminded me of something I did early in my treatment. I gave him a movie. The movie was ,"Dangerous Method". The film is about Carl Jung and his work with a client. Ironically he & the client began a sexual relationship. I had NO idea that my T was involved in a similar situation. I didn't know until this Tuesday almost 9 months after I gave him the movie. He never returned the movie to me. No biggie, who cares. I didn't like it anyway. The film made me uncomfortable. The content was so graphic and disturbing. I had explained this to him. Most importantly I explained to him me admiration of Dr. Jung and his theories.
Today I'm about to have a panic attack because now I think he may have thought I gave him that movie to be rude or something. Or that I knew. I didn't know. Now I feel like I really have to tell him to clarify some things. I'm not that type of person who would purposefully do something like that.
I feel sick. I can't eat, focus or anything. i tossed and turned all night. I got maybe 3 hours of sleep with the help of Ambien. This is a big mess or am I worrying myself into a frenzy?

If it was nine months ago, and his behavior hasn't changed, clearly he did not think you gave it to him to be rude. Try to be easy with yourself.

[Miswimmy1]

sounds like a tough situation... heart out to you

I think that you might be worrying for nothing. He has many things to think about. I doubt that he thought about it enough to make the connections. However, if you are anything like me, thinking about this would eat at me and eat at me until it came out one way or another. If thats the case with you, I would take the initiative to talk to him about it before either he brings it up, or it slips out.

[WhiteClouds]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

If it was nine months ago, and his behavior hasn't changed, clearly he did not think you gave it to him to be rude. Try to be easy with yourself.

I'll try to. I'm very sensitive of people space and feelings. Most of all his office is the only "judgement free zone" I have. I can be myself and tell it all. I feel so bad about all of this. I do appreciate your kindness and willingness to listen. Thank you.

[WhiteClouds]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

sounds like a tough situation... heart out to you

I think that you might be worrying for nothing. He has many things to think about. I doubt that he thought about it enough to make the connections. However, if you are anything like me, thinking about this would eat at me and eat at me until it came out one way or another. If thats the case with you, I would take the initiative to talk to him about it before either he brings it up, or it slips out.

Yes, I'm the same way. I feel compelled to say something. Like I don't want him to think I'm passing judgement on him and the situation. I read the documents and apparently they began seeing each other 3 months after the treatment ended. And she reported it. To no avail, I do understand in the field of mental health that isn't acceptable even after the sessions.
I HATE I stumbled on this information. I don't know what is worse, my transference or knowing this. I'm worried he'll discontinue treatment with me once I say something about this. I don't know. My intuition has once again got me into trouble.
Thanks for your kind response. I appreciate it.

Belle

[unaluna]

I'm all for getting things out in the open. There may still be fireworks afterwards, but at least they have been talked about and there is less room for misunderstanding. My T STILL misreads me. Maybe he's just dumb, Idk.

[WhiteClouds]

Originally Posted by hankster

I'm all for getting things out in the open. There may still be fireworks afterwards, but at least they have been talked about and there is less room for misunderstanding. My T STILL misreads me. Maybe he's just dumb, Idk.

Hi there Hankster!
LOL @"Maybe he's just dumb". I hope he isn't. LOL I think I will let it all out during our next session on Tuesday. I don't know how to begin. Jeez this is a hot mess. He has already asked me was I attracted to my psychiatrist and followed up with a joke. Nonetheless I still felt awkward. Why would he ask me something like that? I don't know Maybe he's just dumb. LOL

[Miswimmy1]

I really don't think he will discontinue your treatment if u bring this up. I think he might want to talk about it, but I honestly think that's it.