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#1
Dec 20, 2012, 12:45 PM
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I know I haven't posted anything for a long time and I feel really nervous asking for support but if anyone could spare a hug I could really use it....
T today was awful, one of those snotty, shivering wreck sessions where I was totally out of reach. I left feeling like I completely contaminated her with my poison and feeling really unwanted, like she couldn't wait to get rid of me..... now I don't see her for nearly 3 weeks  if I go back.Sorry, feeling very sorry for myself and very alone.....
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
 adel34, anonymous112713, Anonymous32765, Anonymous33425, Anonymous37917, Anonymous987654321, BashfulBear, BonnieJean, critterlady, FourRedheads, harvest moon, healed84, Ike McCaslin, lbdrox, Littlemeinside, murray, pbutton, rainbow8, seventyeight, ShaggyChic_1201, SoupDragon
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#2
Dec 20, 2012, 12:46 PM
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Sorry it went so badly today. I hope the time passes quickly until you can see the therapist and hopefully feel better about therapy.
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 Nelliecat
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#3
Dec 20, 2012, 12:48 PM
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Would it help you to let us know more about your session today? We are here for you...
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| Nelliecat
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#4
Dec 20, 2012, 12:53 PM
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Lots of hugs, Nelliecat. Hope you're able to be gentle with yourself until the difficult feelings pass.
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| Nelliecat
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#5
Dec 20, 2012, 12:53 PM
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I'm sorry that you had a bad session.
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| Nelliecat
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#6
Dec 20, 2012, 12:58 PM
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Nelliecat, I have had sessions like that. Afterwards, I discussed it with my T and he promised that he was not horrified or contaminated. Big hugs. Hang in there.
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| Nelliecat
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#7
Dec 20, 2012, 01:08 PM
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oh (((((((nelliecat))))))))
that is the worst feeling, and so hard to sit with when you know you won't be seeing T for such a long stretch. Can you call for some reassurance? I have had sessions where I have left feeling just totally guilty for contaminating T with me and my story....but T has told me over and over again that he sees ME, the me in front of him, and that there is nothing dirty or disgusting about me. He says he is honored that I share such hard things with him. I bet your T feels the same way. Safe  to you 
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| Nelliecat
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#8
Dec 20, 2012, 01:13 PM
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I'll always have hugs for you, Nelliecat!
I'm really sorry you had such a rough session - hang in there, lovely. I care about you and want you around, and I'm positive your T does too. Although with emotions running high, I can completely understand how it might not seem that way right now. If you'd like to (or need to) PM me and vent/chat, please do! I'll be thinking of you and sending positive vibes in your direction!
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'I also hate people who ask cheerfully how you are when they know you're feeling like hell and expect you to say 'Fine.'' - Sylvia Plath  |
| Nelliecat
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#9
Dec 20, 2012, 02:19 PM
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Sorry you had a rough session, I know how it feels to have a session like that - and just before a break, too. I'm glad you're back on the forum, you don't need to feel alone with this - and you know you can always PM me. Big hugs, my friend
xx
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| Nelliecat
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#10
Dec 20, 2012, 04:05 PM
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Thank you all so much
I want to reply more but I feel absolutely brain dead right now. Just totally wrung out. I posted more about today on the 'survivors of abuse' forum because I wasn't sure I could put it here. It's helped just knowing you're all out there and I'm not so alone.
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
| Anonymous33425, BashfulBear, FourRedheads, harvest moon, pbutton, rainbow8, WePow
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#11
Dec 20, 2012, 05:00 PM
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I think it's so brave when anyone goes to that place. I know the feeling of being shattered at the end of my appointment, left to pick up the pieces too. You will get through it.
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| Nelliecat
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#12
Dec 20, 2012, 05:13 PM
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Big hugs to you! Maybe you can write it all out and put it in a safe place until next session? Allow yourself to feel all of this. This time of year is difficult for many survivors. You are not alone even though it feels that way.
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| Nelliecat
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#13
Dec 20, 2012, 05:15 PM
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| Nelliecat
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#14
Dec 21, 2012, 09:37 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
| Anonymous37917
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#15
Dec 21, 2012, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
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#16
Dec 21, 2012, 09:41 AM
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Quote:
 but I do feel a bit better today.
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
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#17
Dec 21, 2012, 09:44 AM
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Quote:
 But thank you for being there.
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
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#18
Dec 21, 2012, 09:45 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
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#19
Dec 21, 2012, 09:47 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
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#20
Dec 21, 2012, 09:50 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
| Anonymous33425
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#21
Dec 21, 2012, 10:06 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
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#22
Dec 21, 2012, 11:37 AM
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Quote:
I'm really trying to manage it. I just told my closest friend about the csa. I was so scared she wouldn't believe me but it was so healing to share it with her so another step in the right direction. Maybe I will get there...
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
| critterlady
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#23
Dec 21, 2012, 11:40 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Remember to look up at the stars, not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious." Stephen Hawking |
| Anonymous33425
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