[precious things]

So, getting ready to meet the new T later. I was sent a few pages of standard paperwork that I am way overthinking the answers to (ex: briefly describe the nature of your problem, what are your goals of entering therapy, etc) . Did you give a real nutshell, condensed version of your problems and just fill it out or take your time and give thoughtful responses? I'm thinking this will be used to get the conversation going in the first meeting.

How did your first meeting or impression with your T align with where things are now? Did you get a good/bad/indifferent feel right away? Were your first impressions indicative of how your therapy has gone?

Thanks!

[sunrise]

I didn't have intake paperwork at my first visit, but I now work at a place that does have the client fill out papers before coming into the office. This is just speaking for our place, but brief answers to the questions are fine, being thoughtful and insightful is not necessary (although those qualities are of course always good!). We use the intake papers to identify areas the client may need help with, so really just flagging that something is an issue is enough, like "marital problems", "relationship issues", "abuse history", "depression", etc. You are right, your answers can serve to help guide the conversation at the first meeting.

Originally Posted by precious things

How did your first meeting or impression with your T align with where things are now? Did you get a good/bad/indifferent feel right away? Were your first impressions indicative of how your therapy has gone?

There was good alignment. He presented to me at the first meeting like he is now. Very genuine, no bait and switch! I had an immediate very positive reaction. And also, an immediate connection. After just one session, I felt he would be able to help me. He gave me confidence he could handle this problem. (My previous therapist had not been like this.) I felt HOPE, which really helped my mood and outlook too. It turned out he was indeed able to help me with the problem I came to him with, and now we are on to other things.

Best of luck at your first appointment.

[Perna]

It was unclear to me if you send in the paperwork before you see your T or give it to him/her at the start of the first session?

If you are going to give it to him/her, I would respond more generally, not pay a whole lot of attention to it; the first interview with your T will tell them and you more about whether it is a relationship that each of you might want to pursue or not.

If you send or turn in the papers before your first visit, I would be more specific and thoughtful (and keep a record of what you wrote :-) as it might help inform and direct some of the first session.

If I were to give the paper to the T though, I would not want the T to be using it as crib notes for themselves, reading off it instead of interacting with you; "I see you have had problem with depression since you were 10, could you tell me more about that?" I'd insist on more direct interaction so you could get a better sense of the T and his/her personality and whether you might want to work with them. I would make up my own set of questions/interests in what to discuss and see how easy it is to lead and if the T follows your lead readily or wants to do too much directing, etc. The T should be able to readily answer questions about their methods and interests and not just be trying to get you to talk for their benefit.

The paper, it seems to me, is either a formality or a tool and I'd like to be able to figure out which and be in on its use if it's a tool.

[stopdog]

I have only seen one who had paper to fill out of any substance. I answered briefly. I did not see going into a lot on the paperwork until I had decided whether or not to go back.

[precious things]

Originally Posted by Perna

It was unclear to me if you send in the paperwork before you see your T or give it to him/her at the start of the first session?

If you are going to give it to him/her, I would respond more generally, not pay a whole lot of attention to it; the first interview with your T will tell them and you more about whether it is a relationship that each of you might want to pursue or not.

If you send or turn in the papers before your first visit, I would be more specific and thoughtful (and keep a record of what you wrote :-) as it might help inform and direct some of the first session.

If I were to give the paper to the T though, I would not want the T to be using it as crib notes for themselves, reading off it instead of interacting with you; "I see you have had problem with depression since you were 10, could you tell me more about that?" I'd insist on more direct interaction so you could get a better sense of the T and his/her personality and whether you might want to work with them. I would make up my own set of questions/interests in what to discuss and see how easy it is to lead and if the T follows your lead readily or wants to do too much directing, etc. The T should be able to readily answer questions about their methods and interests and not just be trying to get you to talk for their benefit.

The paper, it seems to me, is either a formality or a tool and I'd like to be able to figure out which and be in on its use if it's a tool.

You make some excellent points. I am to bring the paperwork to our first meeting. And it would drive me nuts if they just read straight from the sheet...! In all my nervousness your post has reminded me that it is my place to size them up as well, ask my own questions....

So far through email and phone contact I have a very good sense about this apt, we will see...

[critterlady]

With both of the T's I have had in the last couple of years, I gave general answers. Neither looked at the intake forms before talking to me or ever referred to them in my presence.

I'm pretty sure I at least lied by omission, if not directly. There were some things I just couldn't say anything about at that point. I "confessed" this to my current T and he said he figures just about everyone does. It takes time to build up enough trust to even mention some things. Hell, I've been with him for more than a year and there are still some things I haven't been able to talk about yet.

My first impressions of T were that he was gentle, affirming and focused on me. That impression has held up over time. I felt a connection immediately. I remember telling my sister after my first session with him that talking to him was like being wrapped in a warm, fuzzy blanket on a cold day. It's still like that usually.

[Paige008]

I didn't have any intake work the first time I went either. I was just asked questions about myself and she took some notes (she hasn't taken notes since the first visit). When I was asked the questions, I did give very this-is-it, no frills, type answers. There was not any trust yet built, so I think giving pretty standard answers is expected.

I am big on first impressions and whether or not I 'click' with someone. I was lucky enough to click right away with my current T and, in turn, she felt a connection to me as well. I have since been with the therapist for 3 years and I do trust her and it took me a lot of time to get there, but she was patient. I am glad that I stayed with her and trusted my gut feeling that she could help me and that she trusted her own when she felt like she would have a connection to me.

There have been therapists in the past that I have only seen once or twice before quitting. Sometimes it was because their office was messy or I didn't like the way they spoke to me or just that I didn't feel like they were 'right' for me.

I think clients are usually able to get a good idea of whether or not they have a connection with a therapist within a few visits.

I hope you have a good first visit.

[wotchermuggle]

The only papers I signed when starting therapy have been a general contract stating that I understand when confidentiality may be broken, that I agree to a set fee for each appointment, and information regarding how to cancel appointments.

These are my first impressions of therapists I've seen and how that played out down the road.

Therapist #1: (long-term) - Psychodynamic
I was comfortable right away with him because he seemed like a normal guy. I was worried I was going to get an old guy with a beard. Instead, I got a normal person with a sleeve tattoo. Looking back, I was comfortable with him, but I was also very intimidated by him. I had such a hard time staying with any line of conversation and the ending was so terrible in that I felt completely abandoned. I know now that while I think we were a decent match professionally, his lack of experience cost me the ability to heal. I think I knew this during the therapy, but I was so desperate that I didn't want to acknowledge it.

Therapist #2: (short-term while @ school) - CBT
I felt reasonably comfortable with her, but quickly realized that she didn't know how to help me. I still tried to use her as a support but it ended very badly with her breaking confidentiality and I didn't go back to her. So, even though I knew it wasn't going to work, I pushed it and it blew up in my face. Not so great :P

Therapist #3: (interviewed her while shopping for a new long-term T) DBT
Seemed nice, but I was uncomfortable for a couple reasons right off the bat. First, I had to see her at a psych. hospital. Second, she was a woman. Third, I didn't like her office. I had to sit in a regular chair and was too close to her physically. Fourth, my Pdoc had sent her information about me without telling me, part of which said that I had a trauma history. I had never told Pdoc about having a trauma history so I don't know where the heck that came from. It really put me on the spot and I felt like I didn't have a choice as to what I was able to share or keep private. I left feeling very raw. Also, she asked me literally over a 100 questions in that intake session. Fifth, she wanted me to sign a consent to talk to Pdoc & her assistant at any time. I wasn't comfortable agreeing to that right away, which didn't go over well. Sixth, I found out she is friends with my sister in law's sister, which I was uncomfortable with. Seventh, she was late and didn't apologize.

I did tell her that I was interviewing someone else as well, and did call her to tell her that I was going with a different therapist. I did this because there was (and still is) a chance that I could go back to her in the future.

Looking back, I know I made the right decision because I don't do well with a pushy tell-me-everything-like-it-doesn't-even-matter approach that pressures you into basically lying, I feel. I felt so raw that I knew it wasn't the approach for me, at the time.

Therapist #4: (current therapist - long term) Relational psychoanalysis

I was skeptical about this therapist because he was referred to me by therapist #1. I was also worried because he is older and has a beard - something I've always been afraid of for some reason. He was super kind from the get go, but I initially was worried because he seemed a little slow on the uptake. I soon realized that I think I was trying to rush through things with him and he was trying to slow me down a bit. Also, he was trying very hard to understand me and thus took his time responding. He was very kind to me from the beginning, offering me his home phone & email. I was a little slow to accept his kindness and trusting him has taking a long time, because I was scared based on previous experiences. Things have been going really well and while there have been a few hiccups trust wise, I feel like real change is happening.

The difference between T#1 and #4 for me has been that I was so desperate for solutions that I tried to make T#1 work even though I knew I wasn't progressing and with T#4, I've purposely tried to stay more separate from him because I don't want to be hurt if he abandons me as well. However, T#4 is so different in that I feel like he genuinely understands me. T#1 said he understood, but T#4 actually feels like he does.

Also, you tend to pick up on other things that tell you the type of person your therapist is. T#1 once told me that since I was his most senior client and always showed up for appointments, that if he was already booked full, he'd bump another client so I could see him. I didn't like that he would be willing to bump someone else - I mean, what if they needed that session more? I felt like he just wanted to book me because I was a definite pay cheque.

With T#4, he knows that I'm weary of being a burden and constantly reminds me that I can contact him between sessions, book extra sessions, etc. He is so genuinely kind to me, in a way that I've never experienced. I feel like he genuinely cares about me and that I'm not just a pay cheque.

So.....after all that rambling, I think it's important to trust your instincts with people, but at the same time, give people the chance to show who they really are. No therapist is going to be perfect, but you will be able to tell who is a better fit for you if you are honest and give it some time.

[QuietCat]

I did have intake forms to complete before my first session with T. I remember a couple were specific questionnaires on my thoughts and feelings and sleep patterns, etc. This turned out to be so T could determine how depressed/anxious I was in general. I also remember having to fill out short answers to other life history type questions. I recall a Yes or No question about abuse in childhood which gave me pause and I had to consider whether to answer truthfully or not.

I don't actually recall my impression of T on the first session because I was so focused on giving him my background and trying to make him understand in that one single session how miserable I was. The next few sessions my impression was that he was very scientific and non-interactive with the emotions. Since then he has softened and become less factual and more open and emotion based.

But my T is extremely CBT oriented. Like way up there at the top of the CBT therapist gurus... if there is such a thing. And I think he was just using his CBT approach on me at first and when that was clearly not going to be the quick answer he softened and branched out into more relaxed talk therapy mixed with CBT.

[photostotake]

The first time I saw my T it was for an insomnia consult. The only paperwork I filled out that day was a sleep questionnaire. Within our hour appt, it became obvious he wouldn't be able to help my sleep issue, but he could help with other issues in my life. He referred me onto who he called the 'Jedi master' of sleep medicine who finally answered everything. I appreciated the fact that he was so honest after having so many other drs pretend they knew what they were doing with my sleep issues when they clearly didn't. It was so refreshing!

He was so honest and forthcoming with me during that first appt, that I have seen him weekly since then. We honestly just clicked. I trust him completely and truly feel that he cares. And now that we're dealing with my ED issues, I really need someone in my corner I can trust!

Good luck with your new T!

[WikidPissah]

How'd it go?

I never write much down, because I don't like things on paper. But it's funny, my current T I hated right from the get go. For the first two or three months I couldn't stand her. And the fact that I couldn't stand her made me more honest than usual, more open...because I honestly didn't care what she thought. But now? She isn't quite so bad, in fact she's helping me a great deal. Funny how things change.

I dont remember doing any paperwork actually. T says i must have, but i have no recollection. I figure one of our other inside people must have done it. We went to her very wounded and a real wreck after being dumped by first T. It took 2 years to find a good DID T. W had pretty low expectations actually. We had already tried out nine other t's.

From what i was told, we went in there and told her "we dont like you cuz youre not ex t", one of the littles kicked her wall, someone else pouted, we switched several times, and someone curled up in a ball on her floor. I dont remember anything except seeing her come out to get me and me being relieved that she looked friendly.

She was very gentle and handled our switching like a pro. She talked to everyone as an individual, which we appreciated. Very patient and sweet. We talked for several hours. We totally knew she was a keeper!

First sessions was indicative of how our sessions would go. Our sessions run long (several hours), she talks to several of us each session, she is BEYOND patient and kind andngoes out of her way to help us out.

[content30]

T #1:

No paperwork beforehand...just signed a general form of sorts about the T and confidentiality, etc. during first appointment. I did not like her from the get-go and that was definitely indicative of my short relationship with her. I only saw her for a couple of months, cancelled an appointment and never went back. We didn't click well, didn't see eye-to-eye on some things, etc.

T #2:

No paperwork beforehand...again just signed general form about confidentiality, etc. From the beginning I thought she was just okay, and that was also how she would be. She was an ok T, but didn't really help me very much. She also just had too blah of a personality for me. I am a high-energy extrovert, and I realize now that I need a T that can match that and cut me off, make me listen, reflect that energy and personality back to me, etc. This T was so low-energy that I felt she could have been better with a red bull or something. Of course, I'm sure some find her very calming...I just found her to be boring.

T #3:

Basic forms beforehand about describing problem and info on T.... I just filled the forms out with the most basic information. Honestly, I was SO depressed at the time that I don't remember much. I had to sign several forms about T's credentials, confidentiality, paying, etc. This T is with a counseling group of 10ish T's. So, their process is more detailed and formalized. Even though I was super bad off, I did like this T from the get-go...I remember that much. She had more personality and seemed to "care" more than the other two T's I had seen. Like I felt as though I was more of an individual to her than just another client.... I can't explain it, but our personalities click well. I didn't realize how important that was until I found my third T.

In sum, definitely go with your instincts. I mean, it does depend on your personality and T's personality...you may not get a perfect feel the first visit. It may take three visits or so, but definitely don't waste your time with a T that you don't click well with or that you don't find helpful. Also, I would do just what your form says...be brief (i.e. depression mixed with anxiety for 3 years rather than...approximately 3 years ago, I had my first panic attack. I then went to the doctor...,etc.).

Best of luck! I hope this T is a great fit for you!

[precious things]

Well, the new T did not read from my papers, rather put them aside and we just talked. Actually, I talked way more than I usually do and pretty much spilled out my whole history, only stopping when asked specific questions. Personality -wise, I greatly appreciated that he addressed me by my first name, old T used to cal me "Ms...." (so clinical, ugh). He was good, not overly buddy, buddy but personable and definitely compassionate to my situation. More importantly, he is very well-trained in eating disorders and asked great questions (that is really the battle I am up against and have been for many years).

On trauma, he asked me if there was any history of it and I fumbled, mumbled and bumbled until I stammered out an unconvincing "no". I never know how to answer than question, I mean, the whole burden of living could be considered one big trauma.....but anyways, I screwed up the answer to that.

Ill be honest, T personality-wise was fine, but I don't know that I can face this disorder. After laying to bear the history of my pathology I felt shameful, so weak, and like such a failure for being the age that I am, struggling with the issues I do.

I was told this will probably kill me if I let it go untreated. I am still shaken from hearing that, angry with myself for letting things get so bad.

I have thoughts of canceling and not going back, I just don't know that I can face my issues head on.