Cancelled on today. I feel like crying

Just got a text from T that she is sick and cancelling my appointment. First time in almost 2.5 years.

I felt a lot like crying for the first few minutes. Now I just feel soul crushing disappointment. And I feel a little lost.

There was some really deep stuff that I wanted to bring up today. I had been mustering up the courage and thinking things out all morning. Many of you witnessed my weird emotional day Wednesday.

And now there's nothing to do with it.

I can't even feel terribly sorry for T right now. I am just angry and sad for myself.

can you write her a letter and send it to her. is she going to reschedual your session for another day soon?

My T's only cancelled because she was sick once in the four years I've seen her and she really was quite sick. Poor T. It's still hard though, to be ready and then have nothing to do with all the built up emotions other than trying to hold on for a bit longer. Do you have to wait until your next week appointment or are you able to go in sooner?

I'm still waiting another week and a bit for T to come back from overseas and I'm not having a good time waiting.

A letter might be a really good idea for the one super hard thing I was gearing up for. Thanks. I think I need a little distance or something first. I am still having a very strong reaction to the cancellation.

We meet twice a week, so I see her again on Tuesday.

I am sorry you T is away. Vacations are always hard for me too.

It is a crushing disappointment.

Sorry you are going thru this Fixated. I don't have any advice but just wanted to say I empathize. It recently happened to me and it is bothersome(to me) to feel so needy.

Just be glad you have access to a T. I go to a community health clinic and the T is always booked. So I turned to theraputic journaling. Hopefully, your therapist will reschedule. I the meantime, write down what you want to talk about with him or her.

I'm sorry this happened. I know I would be feeling very disappointed as well.

I am not certain disappointment is a comparative sport. I am sorry to hear you do not have access to a therapist. The OP's disappointment is not related to what others have or have not.

Fixed do something for yourself during your appointment time. I think writing is a great idea, just to get those feelings out and off of you. I have had T cancel as well, I know it feels awful. But try to see that your feelings about it are representative of previous disappointments, set off by this one. You know T is sick and once in 2.5 years is an amazing record. Perhaps trying to find where these feelings are really coming from can give you something to talk about Tuesday?

I almost tried to kill myself early in November and even though my therapist knew about it, she cancelled our next 4 sessions for no good reason. I wound up in a program at the end of November and evidently, I will NOT be returning to my old therapist once I complete it.
I understand how terrible that it feels. Just try to remind yourself that it's nobody's fault, not even your therapist's because s/he can't control whether s/he gets sick or not. You must have a pretty good therapist if she only cancels once (and with a valid reason) in over 2 years. Just try to remember that you'll be able to speak to her/him soon.
I agree with the others, I think you should journal to get all your feelings out & share that with your therapist on Tuesday. That way, you have a good method of releasing all your emotions, and at the same time, you'll be sure not to forget anything once you see your therapist on Tuesday.
Maybe you could try radical acceptance? Understanding that you can't change the situation, & you could dwell on it for as long as you'd like, but that won't change the situation or make it better. All it will do is stress you out and make you upset/sad/disappointed. All you can do is accept it, and try to make your personal situation better (I suggest writing, or drawing or making art or collages if that's how you get your emotions out).
I wish you the best of luck! I hope everything goes well!

Can you sit down for the length of your session time and write the conversation you think you'd have with T? or weirder yet talk for an hour being both yourself and T?

So sorry.
I too have plans to tell T deep stuff I've not been able to say until now, and I have this horrible fear of him cancelling Monday on me.

But I second the suggestion to write a letter.

Well, I think I've gone through the entire gambit of emotions over this today. Sadness, disappointment, anger, panic, and numbness.

For a while, I was going to write it out and email her what I'd planned to say. Then I decided it was better/braver/more emotionally accurate to say it in person. Thought I would use this as an opportunity for progress by not overreacting to the situation.

All of that is out the window now. I feel like this is just further proof that therapy is not a safe place for me. This is a sign that I need to quit.

I think this is a sign you DONT need to quit. You had an appointment cancel and its ruined your day.

Idk. Today I've done pretty much what I would have done otherwise. I guess during certain periods of time it has emotionally ruined my day.

Maybe this is the jolt that I need to find a T who can be more assuring about the T relationship. One whose office feels safe and is not right next to the waiting room.

Only if you are having issues with this T anyway.... i mean to quit and find a new one over her cancelling due to illness, that punishment doesn't fit that crime.

I went through this too a few weeks back when T didn't show up and hadn't told me before that he had to cancel. I was in shock, denial, sad, anger, acceptance, and then just told myself I was too attached and I had to stop being so attached.

But when I saw T again a few days later we talked about all the emotions I went through and then he made me feel very accepted by telling me this was all good and expected and not to think I needed to pull back from him over it. He assured me it would never happen again. I became closer to T over it.

This is a learning experience. See if your T accepts how you reacted to it.

Missing is hard. It brings out lots of feelings for me, too.

My t hadn't cancelled sessions because she was sick for my first two years with her. Now she has missed 4 sessions to illness in January. She couldn't get better. And she is taking Monday off for Presidents Day to go away somewhere. I feel very unsettled and at times angry.