Like everyone else, I suppose, I have days where I just don't want to go to T. Several times I have even called to cancel only to hang up before T answers. I've told this to T and he has asked why I keep coming. I said I don't know. I'm mostly scared of the pain I'll feel discussing things, but I think the pain in T is lesser than the pain I'm actually experiencing. So I would say it's out of fear. But my T says it shows a commitment to the T process and the need togrow as a person.

So what keeps others going back to T? Is it personal growth? Fear? Or should we all just join a BDSM group?

[IowaFarmGal]

I've had times when I think what had me going back was not a healthy thing. I've had some T's that I felt anxious seeing, but once I got there it was alright. Sometimes I think it's a dependent thing. I like my female T. She's an older lady with lots of experience and I do look forward to seeing her. I've had real bad experiences with male T's. I can't tolerate to be in the same room with the Pdoc where I go though and I don't take meds.

[Victoria'smom]

should we all just join a BDSM group?


I think a lot of it is fear of being hospitalized if someone from the MHC knows me well. I would like to eventually know how to ride out my mood swing w/o guilt.

[sittingatwatersedge]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( bipolartist ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

speaking just for myself

I feel, I know, there are very deep wounds in me that keep me from living a full life

and that I have had little to no success, trying to deal with them myself

I am very sure that divine Providence has guided me to this particular T, to help me

so I am grateful for the gift (which I do not deserve),

and am determined to make the best I can of her skills (which are considerable).

best to you in your journey

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

I am very sure that divine Providence has guided me to this particular T, to help me

Thanks SAWE, I too believe that some "force" has guided me to my T. I have seen many, many T's who I just have circular conversations with and get nowhere. But after 10 mins of trying to find out what I there for and me repeatedly saying "I don't know" He changed tack and within a few minutes I almost identifying something. But he diagnosed me with Bipolar disorder which no-one else had done before. Ad the rest, as they say, is history.

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

I am very sure that divine Providence has guided me to this particular T, to help me

I feel the same way about finding my T. For me, 3rd try was definitely the charm.

[emptyspace]

Well, honestly, T calls me and tells me to get my *** to therapy. Or T emails me. Apparently I made some agreement that before I quit, I would have one last session to talk about it. Unlike most here, I do not attach to Ts for along time. So when I call to cancel or quit, its real and I don't really care; I can put it out of my mind and move on. The thing T gets me on is my "agreement." Sneaky T.

My old T who I worked with for along time, I did not cancel out of respect for her effort and commitment. She was one in a million.

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

I am very sure that divine Providence has guided me to this particular T, to help me

I also think this about mine.

[healed84]

I guess I have keep going because I have a this little glimmer of hope that he can help guide me to a more complete and fullfilled life- with less shame, and doubt.