Well, I had my first session with my "new T" (I guess) today.

I liked the books on the bookshelf in the waiting room. A lot. So much that it made me tear up because it gave me some hope.

He was nice. Calm and gentle. He didn't really take a history (THANK YOU, NEW T), we just talked. I told him the main reason why I was there, and we talked about that a bit. He said all the right things...without tearing apart my Old T, who has been helping me through this a bit after all...and he just let me feel how I felt.

It's funny, because now I remember how strongly I felt certain things at the beginning of my therapy with Old T...the main one being "this man had better never touch me for any reason". OMG. I forgot how huge that feeling was, and it's back. And it's fine. I don't want to be touched. When he handed me a pen I took it with my fingertips so there would be no chance of contact.

But he feels safe enough, I think, and seems like he can help me through this time.

He said I am really good at talking about my feelings, which was kind of funny, because that's why I started therapy in the first place 5 years ago. To feel my feelings. Success.

At the end, he asked if I thought we could work together and I burst into tears. Like, really, sobbing tears. And he stopped what he was doing (getting papers) and said "what are the tears about?" and I told him I was just SO sad about how things worked out. And he said we can talk about Old T as much as we need to, and that maybe I would get some things from new T that I couldn't get from Old T, just like I got some things from Old T that I might not get from new T.

There's more, but that's kind of a summary. I cried so hard on the way home that i was afraid my phone would break if I called someone. Like buckets of tears.

I'm exhausted. I want to talk to Old T about New T, so I left a message. The fact that he's willing to help me through this transition is actually really nice.

[tinyrabbit]

Your new T sounds great.

[harvest moon]

I think it couldn't have gone better...

I am so glad it went well for you. Both you and he sound like it might work out just fine.

That sounds great I am very happy for you Nightsky2.

I hope you will get from this new T what you didn't get from T1 and process what it was that was missing. I liked the way you couldn't contain your tears of happiness when he asked if you both could work together
There is a real sense of HOPE from your post

Nightsky.... it is nice that there was nothing outright objectionable about this T. It sounds like its worth session 2....

[Syra]

I've had to transfer from T1 to T2 (by the T's choice, not mine; I was devastated) so I know how hard and scary and painful it can be. And I know the feeling of being totally triggered by something and sobbing. I can picture your new T so responsive, stopping what he was doing and attending to you, and I feel warm inside. Was it like that?

I'm very glad for you that the visit went to well.

Sounds hopeful... Keep us posted

[WePow]

You should treat yourself to something nice this weekend. You deserve it!

[Wren_]

that sounds so promising that it went so well; and nice if you can also talk a little to old T about new T to help with making this move ... I like wepow's suggestion of you doing something nice this weekend

[stopdog]

I am glad it did not go badly.

[googley]

((((((((((nightsky))))))))))
I"m so glad that it seem like it will work out. He sounds like he understands that you have a lot of feelings. When I moved and had to get a new T, she said something very similar to your T. That we could talk about my old T as much as I wanted because she knew it was important to me.

[elliemay]

When I had to leave my old therapist, my new one was sooooooo good at helping process that loss.

And it is a loss. It counts. I don't care if it is a therapist. It counts.

Also, like you, there was some overlap, at least by the phone, between my old and my new.

It's been okay, more than okay. I have learned new things from my new therapist, and stuff from the old I still carry.

It's just new and different, but good.

I do see this a glimmer of hope in your situation. I think (and do so hope!) you've landed in good place.

This life is SUCH a crazy thing. We never know when the really really good is going to pop up. All we can do is try to catch it when it comes by.