[tinyrabbit]

Does anyone else have fantasies or daydreams about their T? I don't mean the transference type. I keep imagining passing him in the supermarket while grocery shopping. I think it's because I want him to see that I can actually behave like a grown-up out there in the world.

Yes that's a natural part of object relations.

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

Does anyone else have fantasies or daydreams about their T? I don't mean the transference type. I keep imagining passing him in the supermarket while grocery shopping. I think it's because I want him to see that I can actually behave like a grown-up out there in the world.

I just assume mine does normal things like that and is happily married, so I hope he is. I think I'd be bummed if I found out he wasn't. He seems like a very "normal", kind person, so I hope that translates to real life. I don't think about it except when I see him in session, though.

["Tilly may"]

Yes I have thought about that too. I mean when Im just in my car listening to a cd and driving, I feel so normal then. Or when im at work , dealing with other patients and caring for them, Im in the opposite role. I want her to see that Im normal. or at least can be when I have to.

[Dreamy01]

Yes I do.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Yup. Especially since my T lives just a few miles from me. I often think about seeing her out at the local grocery or drug store or even just passing her on the street. It's never happened, though.

And, yeah, I think it's partly because I want her to see the person I project to the rest of the world.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Yup. Especially since my T lives just a few miles from me. I often think about seeing her out at the local grocery or drug store or even just passing her on the street. It's never happened, though.

And, yeah, I think it's partly because I want her to see the person I project to the rest of the world.

I live in a pretty small town, and often imagine seeing him at the grocery store or some event. I have thought I'd like him to read one of my court briefs or see me give a public lecture.

[rainboots87]

Yes, about my last T. Not only do I want to see her be 100% real out in her own life with her friends and/or family, but I'd also like the situation where she could get a chance to see me out in the world and having a good time with friends (not being a crazy crying mess).

[critterlady]

I live in fear of seeing him at the grocery store. The one that's closest to me is also the one that's closest to his home. I never have seen him anywhere but the local gas station, but I would be mortified if he saw what I put in my cart in the grocery store sometimes.

Other than that, I think of him leading a regular life and seeing that I do, too.

[likelife]

I sometimes force myself to think about T in "normal" situations, like picking her kids up from school or going to the movies. I have a need to see her as a "real" person so I don't get so caught up in idealizing her and imagining she had a perfect life (which would distance her from me, because how could she ever understand what I'm experiencing if she's perfect?).

[likelife]

Oh, and I only live a couple of miles from T too. Haven't yet run into her anywhere, though. No, I take that back, on one occasion I saw her driving, but that was it.

[refika]

I'm not sure on this...sometimes when I go out to eat with others I'm worried if I'll see T there. I think I would run the other way if I really did see T outside the office. I would probably be too embarrassed or ashamed.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by likelife

Oh, and I only live a couple of miles from T too. Haven't yet run into her anywhere, though. No, I take that back, on one occasion I saw her driving, but that was it.

Actually, I saw T once driving too. The funny thing is that we were both driving to her office! I was her first appointment of the day, and since we live so close to each other, we took the same route. I passed her on the freeway.

[likelife]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Actually, I saw T once driving too. The funny thing is that we were both driving to her office! I was her first appointment of the day, and since we live so close to each other, we took the same route. I passed her on the freeway.

Ha, that's funny!

I seen t in a jewellery store just last week. I have seen her T1 a few times around town and she looks over and smiles even though she terminated me in the most heinous way.
I have seen t2 driving in her car a few times, she drives a big fancy car we were both passing on opposite side of the road and looked at each other but didn't wave it was rather awkward.

[critterlady]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Actually, I saw T once driving too. The funny thing is that we were both driving to her office! I was her first appointment of the day, and since we live so close to each other, we took the same route. I passed her on the freeway.

I was once driving to my session and fretting because I was late. At the last light before T's building, I looked in my rearview mirror and T was right behind me. I guess I wasn't late.

i just really prefer to think of him in his office 24/7

i know he has a life, i just don't want to think or hear about it..

[tinyrabbit]

I talked to my T about this and it opened up quite a useful discussion about what would happen if we did see each other in the wild, as it were.

[QuietCat]

I often think about T and how he may be with his own children (who are adults now) and if he's a good parent to them. Sometimes I would like to be a fly on the wall to see his interactions with them.

I also am really curious about T's colleagues and how he is with them. If he brings up the topic of my case to them for advice or anything.

But I don't really look forward or imagine running into him in outside life. I almost fear he would see I can act like a normal adult and decide I don't need to see him anymore.

[stopdog]

I don't really think about the therapist out in the world. I imagine she is just usual. I can't usually picture her face anyway so I don't think of myself as recognizing her outside of the office.

With my old t, who i only saw in her office or in group, i had fantasies about her real life, since i didnt know much bout it, except for meeting her husband and toddler daughter once and seeing her interact with them.

With new t, i have driven her around, been out to eat with her, been shopping wth her, gone out around the community wth her, so i know how she is in real life with me and with people, seen her good sides and her bad sides, seen her get mad with people and be nice to them, etc, so i guess i dont need to have fantasies about her.

[Irrelevant221]

I've done this before as well. I remember one time when I was entering a store and imagining seeing her there when she walked right past me with her fiancee. It completely startled me, but I thought it was a funny coincidence.