["Tilly may"]

So I agreed to pay to see my T Laurie one more time. I will see her on Wednesday after work. It will cost me $60 for one hour. I am smitten with her and really have to sit back and take it cool. Why does this happen? Why do we get so darn attached to T?
I feel like she holds the key to my happiness.

[Travelinglady]

The strong attraction many of us feel toward a therapist can occur for two basic reasons: 1) transference. In certain kinds of therapy, the therapist tries to keep from revealing very much about him- or her-self to the patient, like in psychoanalysis. He/she tries to be like a "blank slate." The patient then begins to have feelings toward the therapist like he/she had toward an important person in the past (generally a parent.); 2) a sense of caring the therapist gives to the patient. Many patients have been hurt in the past or rejected and might even feel unloveable. But the therapist gives the patient "unconditional love." Being supportive, complimentary, actually like a "paid friend."

I have had a hard time leaving some therapists. What's even harder is that therapists are not supposed to have any more contact with the patient once the sessions are over, not even friendship.

What we need to do is to take what we have learned from the therapist and use it in real life--ultimately being able to find healthy relationships with "regular" people.

[Ike McCaslin]

I hear you Tillie May. I moved 3 hours away from my PDOC, and will probably see her once more for a farewell session. It makes me incredibly sad, which causes me more than just a little consternation. I hope it goes well for you and you get the closure you need.

[pernonalgrowth]

Hi Tilly May,

I recognise the feeling of attachment to a therapist. It can be overwhelming and confronting to feel that way. These feelings are confusing, aren't they just?

However, whether or not someone holds the key to your happiness, or unhappiness for that matter, is a different thing altogether. We are solely responsible for our own well being, and are often lucky to find someone who can help remind us of that responsibility (ie a therapist) But they "only" facilitate to help us find what we have deep inside us, which is a flame, we must keep burning.

Take care.