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#26
Mar 05, 2013, 11:15 PM
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__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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#27
Mar 06, 2013, 01:25 AM
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I think it might also have to do with their gender ... 6 of them were female, and for some reason I have a bias toward males. Even though my first T, who I saw for like 8 years, was a female.
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#28
Mar 07, 2013, 02:08 PM
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That sounds frustrating. I know I "present" differently to different people, not just T's. In fact, in my last city I worked with a dietitian, an individual T, and a group T all in the same practice together. I absolutely acted differently with each one based on the relationship we built. It took me awhile to realize it, but it probably relates to my people-pleasing, my comfort level with each one, and the nature of our interactions (therapy vs nutrition and group vs individual). I think it's really natural to do that. Also, in terms of not taking responsibility, I imagine many people (including those in and those not in therapy) would do that to some extent. Who is going to show up for a first session as the perfect client? There's a reason we're all in therapy.
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#29
Mar 14, 2013, 12:38 AM
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OK, so I took a break from T-shopping for a week. It felt like much, much longer. But my GP called me on Monday with a few names, and I felt obligated to try them since she is trying to help. Interestingly, two of the four she gave me were ones I had already called. So have I come full circle?
Anyway, one of them had only 7 am available. There's no way I could do that. I work 9-6 instead of 8-5 because I cannot make it to work that early. I met with the other of them today. He gets points because the first meeting is free and it's all about setting the ground rules, how he works and then what you want/need from therapy, but no actual therapy! I think he's got the right idea there. Take points away, though, for being younger than me. Really! All 7 other T's I met with were older than me, at least by a bit. Not pretty to look at - point neutral. I actually made a second appt. He gets another point for working with my schedule - he agreed to see me at 6pm. So, I'm thinking it over. I didn't feel a connection, something I've been requiring. But I'm thinking all I really need right now is someone to help me process the trauma of my termination with xT. I can deal with my BPD later, and maybe I will be in a better frame of mind to find a T that I can connect with. Maybe a connection with this guy will come later and I will be able to work with him on the rest of the stuff. I haven't been willing to think about working with a T on a short-term basis (or one that I don't feel an instant connection to), but maybe that's how I get back in the game. Idk, I do feel some ambivalence about going back to him, but even in this therapy-neutral meeting, I got emotional. Meaning, the trauma and hurt from the termination with xT is as fresh as if it happened yesterday. I've got to do something. I've got to move on. I've got to get to where it doesn't hurt this bad. Because I can't live like this anymore. |
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#30
Mar 14, 2013, 07:52 AM
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Ditto on the short term work-- it might just work to have short term therapy, or at least it's worth a try. I think that this process of shopping for T's has given you an opportunity to grow, and you've taken it. I hope it works out well for you. Good luck. |
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