Figuring out topics to discuss

When you all have had a busy week chewing on different things relating to therapy, how do you decide what to discuss at your next T session?

I meet with T today, and don't know where to start. Perhaps I'll ask T what they would like to discuss but T usually makes me set the direction. Hmpf.

Thoughts?

I tend to get quite stressed out with all the stuff in my head and I write a list of the things I think are most important. I don't get the list out in session, but it helps me think through things.

My T would rather I came with no direction or agenda in mind. He wants me to just turn up and see what comes out.

Just start with what's going on for you in that moment. There is no 'right' topic. Hell, I started ranting about flag waving after seeing a flag flapping in the wind on my journey to therapy one day & That led to me finally grieving a loss I hadn't grieved for. That's therapy. Just random ****.

It's still pretty much the stuff we don't say and say that we didn't pre-decide to say that interests T's I think. They are going for our display of emotion, really getting upset when telling a story or enjoying describing a project near and dear to our hearts, etc.

Remember, it use to be based on "free association" so we talk, doesn't matter what we talk about, and there are comments from them and, theoretically, those comments cause a response in us and that response is interesting to discuss, whether it's "How can you say that!" or, "You know, I was just thinking. . ." So, the more the subject is of interest to us, the more opportunity there might be to have a real interaction.

That's sort of why T's interrupt you if you're talking about your friend and what they did instead of yourself or concentrating too hard on T and what T is thinking/feeling instead of what's going on inside yourself.

If you've had a busy/difficult week, just pick anything that comes to mind (free association :-) and start with that; it's all good!

Ugh. That could have gone better. I had walls up the whole time, and couldn't articulate what I wanted to.

And, to top it all off, T ended the session with, "maybe we can talk about your LEAST favorite topic next week that you've been avoiding? But only if you want."

Cue a horrible week ahead filled with equal parts dread, nervousness, and anxiety.

*sigh*

Yikes! I hate when I can't articulate, I get so frustrated. Wow, T left you with a door-knob cliff-hanger, huh? The ones that make you fret until you see the next episode? Ugh on your recipe for the week. When do you see T again?

((((Hugs))))))

Yep, a door knob cliff hanger (I wondered what you guys meant by that, now I know!). In T's defense, I think T learned last time they brought something up I wasn't expecting, that the convo didn't go well....as in we had to hash it out the next week with T owning up that perhaps they didn't get their point across as they should - so I think the cliffhanger was T's way of preparing me. It probably is for the best.

I see T in a week.

I decide when I get there and sit down. Something emerges. I see the thoughts elbowing one another to get to the front

You didn't ask "which one?" so you could at least know what your walking into.

really? My thoughts trample over each other as they flee.

Was this directed at me? Trust me, I know the topic T named it ver specifically.

Great way to put it!

I hate figuring out what to talk about in T. Everything is pretty good and I, too, have to figure out something to work on for next week. UGH!!!!

I usually find that the sessions I walk into not knowing what to talk about are the most beneficial. We often get on subjects I never would have dreamed I'd bring up and it all evolves quite naturally. I guess it's a bit of free association.

I almost never know what is supposed to be talked about, but it does not make it a better appointment one way or the other. They are all about the same.

I have just had that week. It sucks.

I don't know why it happens but sometimes when T asks me what I would like his help with that week I freeze up and get inhibited because I feel embarrassed about all my topics I'd listed, and really how could he even help with some of them at all?

So I'll sit there and feel terrible and eventually say "I don't know." Then I'm disappointed in myself. Then I have a week of feeling disappointment.

Usually the topics stem from things I've been journaling about, but lately, we've been on the same topic related to my past for several weeks and things that have come up since we started talking about it.

I've found that I can't remember what happened in the 2 weeks between our sessions; or I just can't think or bring myself to say anything out loud (which I am sure is getting old with T), so she will ask if I've journaled about anything. Sometimes I will let her read the entry, but most of the time, I will give her a general idea about it because I am very protective of my personal spaces (journal and home).

Maybe as things happen between session you can jot them down quickly in a notebook or in your cell? that way you can have them ready if you find yourself unable to think during your session.

Last time I went in without an agenda (well actually I had an agenda then changed my mind) I realised I had told him loads of stuff I had been thinking of saying but been unsure about, and asked lots of the questions I had wanted to ask him. It was really good and made me realise I don't need to plan and make lists. But I still do...