[bluemountains]

I went to see my new therapist for the second time. I am starting to live with the fact that I will never see my old therapist again. Now, instead of missing her, I am angry that she could desert her clients so quickly without any time for processing with her.

Back to the new therapist, she had received the notes from my former therapist. We went over them, and it was tough to talk about some of the information, especially about my family and childhood abuse. There was just a brief discussion of topics as she gathered more information, though.

What I like is that she was very sensitive to the fact that we are in the beginnings of developing a relationship, and she told me that we would focus more on my current state and bipolar issues until I am more comfortable with her. I also like that is she is gathering a lot of information about my kids and husband. She is finding out about the complete picture. My old t did this too, but she had the advantage of having tested a couple of them.

As for my questions I had shared in an earlier post, I didn't ask the personal ones, but I did make sure that I have contact information that works for me. I cannot handle phone calls! I am comfortable now that she does not mind if I email when needed. She gave me her email address. I told her that I am not a constant emailer, I just occasionally need to share over email what I cannot during a session, so that we can talk about it the next time. I let her know that I understand that the internet is not considered a private communication tool.

I think this may work out. I wish I didn't have to be the person that the notes say I am, but at least I don't have to start at the beginning now. I guess I'll know that we have developed a relationship when I can actually go and revisit the tough stuff in my childhood.

Okay, I am feeling slight optimism here. Fingers crossed!

Bluemountains

[archipelago]

Sounds like you are making a difficult transition with a lot of courage and hope. That's fantastic. When I switched therapists I did the full intake all over. Actually because the new therapist had a different point of view and different style, I didn't mind the process of going over things I had already gone over. The new therapist approached them so differently that I gained from going through some of this stuff again.

Now we don't do that anymore. It was just in the beginning when he was trying to understand the basic things about me and wanted to hear them from me rather than rely on notes. The notes can be helpful and not have to make it feel like you are starting all over. But some of the process in establishing a new relationship was my therapist honest interest in hearing it directly from me rather than relying on colleagues (who were actually close friends of his) and so it showed some respect and response to my direct experience, which I was able to take in new ways since his approach was so different.

I wish you the best of luck. It sounds like you feel ready and able to do this.

[adel34]

hi Bluemountains,
I could have stolen your title to describe my third meeting with my new T, so I know how you feel!
It sounds like you guys had a good meeting with her gathering information and also being very sensitive to that you two are developing a relationship too and to take things slowly.

[Syra]

I'm glad things are looking promising to you. Thanks for the update.

[CantExplain]

It's interesting that your T's are sharing notes. I don't think any of my T's ever contacted the previous T.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

It's interesting that your T's are sharing notes. I don't think any of my T's ever contacted the previous T.

Actually my new t asked if I would have these sent. I think maybe it is because both are clinical psychologists, so I guess their note taking is similar. My old t said that these would probably be requested.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

Actually my new t asked if I would have these sent. I think maybe it is because both are clinical psychologists, so I guess their note taking is similar. My old t said that these would probably be requested.

I don't mind my T's (former & current, T & pdoc) sharing ntoes and talking, but I always require that they tell me that they are doing that, and the sum and substance of what is discussed (this gives them some leeway in how to present things if they are concerned). I've generally not been worried about hwat would be said. I don't want them to think of me as as anything less than an equal partner. The professional has information I don't have and need, and I have information the professional doesn't have and needs. I've never had a T balk at this. Some have agreed that's what they would do too in my shoes.

I also look at the written notes from my sessions. It's really interesting and supportive of the therapy. I started writing up my own notes after a while. It's interesting to see what we each focused on, and how he interpreted things. Sometimes I learn things about what he was doing by how he writes it up. sometimes he learns something from my write-up. Usually neither of us are surprised or bothered by what was written. And sometimes we clarify we we missed something that was going on. It's never been a matter of "checking up."

[spondiferous]

I'm glad the new T is beginning to work for you, bluemountains. Nothing can be more of a setback than to find out that the person with whom you've done some of your deepest work is no longer going to be a part of your life, and it's a relief (in my experience) to discover that the new person is an asset to you. I hope you continue to get what you need out of this new relationship.

Originally Posted by CantExplain

It's interesting that your T's are sharing notes. I don't think any of my T's ever contacted the previous T.

In the US, you have to sign a release form for your previous/current Ts/Pdocs to talk to each other and the form specifies what information you are allowing release of.

And you can also revoke this, even verbally, at any time. ALL of my Ts/my Pdoc have talked to each other; I have signed a form for everyone. They should just go out to dinner one night and talk about my history.

Bluemountains,

I am so glad it is working out for you so far, it really sounds like a great start. Hugs to you!