[Ad Intra]

Earlier I created a forum about trauma narrative, but I later no found out more about it. Basically a trauma narrative is where you tell the story of what happened to you over and over again. I'm terrified. When I realized this I began crying and I cry when I realize we'll be working in this Friday.
Right now I don't want to go to session on Friday because I am scared. I am half tempted to call my T and talk to her about this.
Additionally, I want ask her questions, establish safety nets and make sure I am truly safe in the session (mostly from her).

Questions I want to ask include:
Is it ok if I bring my coloring book to session?
How do you feel about crying?
What do you think about my emotions?
Is it ok if we take a slower pace if thing get too tough?
Will you become mad at me if I become sad, angry or afraid?
I'm scared of being attacked, please don't hurt me.

[Argonautomobile]

These are all excellent questions, Ad Intra. Therapy shouldn't be re-traumatizing, and I think it would be prudent to go over these and any other concerns you have, in person, before starting the narrative. I'm sure your T will be obliging and appreciate your help in setting up a safe and supportive environment. If it were me, I'd bring this list to your next session and go point-by-point.

Good luck & take care.

[atisketatasket]

For some of these - like the slower pace - I would insist. While your therapist should be looking out for you, you should say the instant something feels too much for you - look out for yourself, too. By the way, I get the sense that you've been told you will do this. Is that true? Did you have any input? Now is the time for that if you didn't.

I agree with Argo that this conversation should be in person. You're obviously on edge about this, and it would be more effective if she could see your face and body language when you talk about this.

[ruh roh]

If calling ahead will ensure that your concerns are addressed and that you don't show up and just freeze or shut down, then yes...I would call (actually, I would email, but you didn't mention that as an option for you).

[kecanoe]

In your shoes I am not sure I could wait for Friday to be sure you have a decent safety net. I would go ahead and call.

[LonesomeTonight]

I would try calling or maybe e-mailing, if that's a way you usually communicate with T. That way you can be reassured about it before starting the session. And your T will be aware of your fears.

[stopdog]

I see no reason why a client should not have that information.

It seems like this is a very good reason to call ahead of time. In the least, I'd go into next session with these questions in hand and insist they be discussed before any trauma work proceeded.

[RedSun]

Ad Intra, if you're allowed to email, could you email the questions to your T first so you know that she understands your needs from the session?

It sounds scary, but I also get the impression that you like and trust your T, hopefully she can hold you (metaphorically) through this and help you start to heal.

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I think its fine to call your T. I have called and emailed my T with something I needed to ask before we had a session. Its also perfectly normal to not want to go to a session because you are scared. I was scared and didn't want to go to my last session and I emailed my T and told her that. I did end up going and it was one of the best sessions to date. My T also told me she was so happy I emailed her and let her know I didn't want to go because I was scared. She said it really helped her to understand.

[Rive.]

That depends on her policy/boundaries re phone calls. Does she allow them? Or only for emergencies?

Otherwise, I would email her in advance & run through the questions in session, before starting the work on Friday. Actually, any T worth their salt would have this discussion before delving into such work...