[CantExplain]

I asked Madam T for a "letter for farewell". Instead, she wrote me what is essentially a referral. She talks about me technically, in the third person, as if she were writing to another therapist.

Here is my reply:

Thanks.

I appreciate the time you spent on this. I'm sure this was hard work and I can see the care you put into choosing your words.

W says this is a case where I need to find the love in what was given, instead of what I wanted. I was hoping for something warmer and more personal, to me and not about me. A loving farewell to a son leaving home.

You'll always be the woman who saved my life.

Love,
Cant Explain

[WikidPissah]

(((CE))))

I am sorry that your farewell letter was not what you wanted. I hoped for that for you. It stinks that you couldn't get that one final thing. Your response is not only respectful but kind. You have indeed grown!

[catsrhelm]

I too am sorry that you did not get the farewell letter you wanted.
Remember, when one door closes, another opens. So, you may want to go ahead and see the T that she referred you to. I know that sounds scarey, because you have to establish a new relationship. I am going through the same thing, only with a new psychiatrist. I didn't get to say goodbye to my old one, so I am sort of bummed.

[stopdog]

I am sorry she was not as generous as you are being, CE. This is about the only type of situation where the phrase "they are human" and therapist fits, to me. It seems a bit mean of her, I think.

CE, that sucks. I am sorry it is not warm or kind or even what you wanted but it seems my experience that when you want something from a t and they know how desperately you want it, they will not give it. This is no reflection on you however it says a lot about your t and I hope you can find someone warmer next time- you deserve it

[Perna]

I am sorry you did not get what you want. Maybe it was a misunderstanding and next time you will be more explicit in what you want. I remember when I went to work for a department store part-time back in the early 1970's and they asked me what department I wanted and I said "something romantic", meaning books or china/silver, etc., and they put me in bedding I can tell you from first-hand experience there is nothing romantic about trying to refold king-sized comforters people have pulled out of bags and cubbies willy nilly.

Sorry CE. I think it's a perfectly reasonable request on your part and I wish you had gotten what you asked for. I have been thinking of asking my T for something similar since I'm terminating with her soon. I think I'll be very specific as to what I'm looking for when I ask her. Thank you for sharing.

[stopdog]

From CEs other posts on different threads I thought he had been reasonably specific.

I am really sorry that you didnt get the response you were hoping for. You certainly handled your response with grace.

[ECHOES]

I'm sorry her response was impersonal and businesslike, when what you wanted was an acknowledgement of the relationship that was, and the loss that you are grieving.

I appreciate the time you spent on this. I'm sure this was hard work and I can see the care you put into choosing your words.

I have to ask... is this a thank you or sarcasm?

[Syra]

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

I am really sorry that you didnt get the response you were hoping for. You certainly handled your response with grace.

--------