[Solepa]

I started therapy more than months ago and I only told one friend of mine just because she was in similar situation and felt alone in it.
I live with my fiance who is also my best friend for more than 10 years and I want to tell him this week but I don´t know how.
People know me as happy person that can cope with anything and doesn´t have issues. It is hard to actually let them know it is not true. How did you do it? Especially if you were in a situation nobody would expect such a thing.

Important note is that I live in country where therapy is not that common and it is still kind of shameful.

[tinyrabbit]

My husband knows and a few close friends who have been to therapy themselves, also one friend who hadnt but decided to go after talking to me.

I wouldn't tell people if I didn't think they would be supportive. But it's different with your fiancé. Does he have any idea about the reasons you're at therapy?

My husband saw that I was having panic attacks and other issues so was happy that I was going somewhere that would help.

[Willowleaf]

No one! It's not their business

[wotchermuggle]

I told my Mom because I wanted to ask her if she could help me with paying for therapy when I was away at school and couldn't afford it. This was two years after I started.

I told my brother because he does my taxes and since I pay for therapy, I wanted to claim it. He was the first person I told.

If I had to tell anyone now, I would only tell them that I suffer from anxiety and therapy is how I cope with it. Having anxiety less stigmatizing than having to explain what bipolar 2 is and how it's not bipolar 1....etc etc.

[Solepa]

Thank you all very much for your replies. My fiance was 5 weeks away when I had a break down so he only knows I had to move my university final exams because I was not feeling well. It will be a shock for him I guess. But he knows I´m not "in my skin" lately. Well I need him for the things to come so I hope he is not going to run away.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by Solepa

Thank you all very much for your replies. My fiance was 5 weeks away when I had a break down so he only knows I had to move my university final exams because I was not feeling well. It will be a shock for him I guess. But he knows I´m not "in my skin" lately. Well I need him for the things to come so I hope he is not going to run away.

If it's of any help, I find when first breaking any type of unpleasant news to someone, it helps to sort of brush if off as less of a deal than it actually is.

I would just say you were struggling with X (whatever it is) and decided to go to talk to someone to help figure things out and get back on track. If your fiance asks why you can't talk to them (very likely a question) you can say that you needed a fresh/different perspective.

Good luck!

[stopdog]

Partner and one friend

[content30]

My close friends and family all know...and a number of them have gone or are going. If not, they have someone close to them that has gone. I think it's fairly common for my age group and social class, per se, in my area of the US. I was in a church group the other day of 7 other women all my age...and we were talking about it. Every single one of us had been or currently go to counseling.

I do NOT tell people at work or acquaintances, though.

[HealingTimes]

Nobody knows i go to therapy, and thats the way i like it

Hubby, Daughter and my close cousin.

[Raging Quiet]

My husband and my teenage sister (whom I told to inspire her to go)

[sittingatwatersedge]

I've told just two people, very close friends. One seemed concerned for me, as if i were putting myself in danger.

the other one - as soon as i said it she said, "Oh, good!" I stared at her, taken aback, and she added, "is it working?"

I went through

and then she told me that she had been considering doing the same for some time, but as far as she knew, she didn't know anyone who had been through it and had a lot of questions.
She had me going for a moment there though...

[seattleskies88]

Husband, pastor, a few really close friends. I'm surrounded by a pretty tight-knit community, so it's hard for those things to go unnoticed.

[gayleggg]

My husband, daughter and other doctors are the only ones that I've told this time around. In the past I have been open with friends I knew I could trust and they were in therapy too.

[EllieBear]

I've told people very gradually over the 10 years I've been in therapy. At first I was ashamed of people knowing, but as I've gotten healthier I've realized there's nothing to be ashamed of. Its just like going yo a doctor for a broken leg, but what's "broken" is on the inside. Therapy is a way to better yourself and I go to better my relationships as well. Maybe thats a way you could approach it with your fiance. You are trying to worth through some things that have happened in your past or some issues you struggle with so it doesn't negatively affect your relationship. Not that that's the only reason, but its probably part of the reason since you've mentioned struggling with some parts of having an intimate relationship. Plus, I think if you're not happy, no matter how good of a face you out on, its going to affect your relationships with people close to you. Chances are your fiance won't be as apprised as you think. I used to believe my smile fooled everyone, same as you do...but I've since found out very few people actually thought I was fine.

[likelife]

Husband, two close friends, one of whom referred me to T (he had seen her years ago), and that's it, I think. Definitely will not tell my family and I don't see the need for anyone at work to know.

H has known I was in T since I first started a long, long time ago. He kind of recommended I go.

[QuietCat]

My mom knew from the start. My bosses at work (because they started wondering why I have to be gone every Monday for an extra early lunch), and one co-worker/friend.

I'm oddly sort of proud of my bosses being aware of it. They are hyper aware of mental health issues where I work (federal government), so me seeing a therapist is not something they would dare give me any grief about.

[1stepatatime]

My ex knows, my daughter, and very few close friends...it is very personal to me and I don't think there is any reason for anyone else to know.

at first, my h, parents/siblings and a couple of friends. Now after a year and a half and huge progress on my part I tell anyone who will listen if the subject comes up how beneficial it has been for me. I don't share details of course, but I've become quite the mental health advocate in the last few months. The way I see it, putting in the time/effort/money etc into doing this therapy thing is something I am proud of - not ashamed of.

[Solepa]

Thank you everyone again for your input. I plan to tell my fiance today or tomorow. Unfortunately I may have to tell my boss because I go during my work hours every week so it is hard for her to not notice. There is no reason for me to tell anybody else.
I will probably feel the need to share here how the news was recieved so if anybody is interested....... Have a nice day today and take care of yourselves.

I tell everyone. I was tired of hiding myself. I have learned to reveal myself, and not be ashamed of me, and where I'm at in life. I have found nothing. But acceptance, and love - and curiosity - from all I've told. I even tell strangers if it fits in the conversation.

[sconnie892]

My pastor knows as he is the one who referred me.
My co-workers know as I have to leave work for appointments and says I was going to the doctor was starting to concern them.
A few close friends know. It came out in conversation and I discovered many of them had also been to therapy.
My FOO does not know and I do not plan to tell them anytime soon.

[Perna]

That you are in therapy and why you are in therapy are different things. Almost anyone who knows one probably can understand that there are things that one might want to discuss with a therapist; no one has a perfect life or is "always" happy. I would just tell your finance and any other friends or family members you think you would like knowing that you are seeing someone to talk about a few personal issues you want to discuss with an unbiased individual but that you are fine and your usual self, and it is not about them :-)

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Perna

I would just tell your finance and any other friends or family members you think you would like knowing that you are seeing someone to talk about a few personal issues you want to discuss with an unbiased individual but that you are fine and your usual self, and it is not about them :-)

granted that it is not about them...? hmmm. It well could be about them.

[content30]

Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere

I tell everyone. I was tired of hiding myself. I have learned to reveal myself, and not be ashamed of me, and where I'm at in life. I have found nothing. But acceptance, and love - and curiosity - from all I've told. I even tell strangers if it fits in the conversation.

I love this. If everyone did this, then therapy would become more socially acceptable, and more people would go and get help.