Help. I really feel I need to contact my T.

I feel I need to text him and say "I am trying to tell you something" but in the last week I've sent texts about stupid things like rescheduling and cancelling appts. I feel like I'm abusing the texting privilege and I am so overwhelmed by everything at the moment and can't wait 2 weeks for my appt. The feelings are overwhelming and causing physical pain. I don't think I can wait, but he gave my appt next week to someone else i think. I can't think anymore.

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. I think, despite your fear of abusing the text privilege that you should let t know about what's happening with you.
Can you try in the mean time to ground yourself? I don't know what you use for that. sometimes paying attention to the rhythm of my breathing will help. Or another sensation from the present world. I have an ultra soft blanket that feels comforting.

Thanks Bonniejean. I just don't know what to say. Is "I'm trying to tell you something" enough. I don't know, i don't know about anything anymore.

Can you call him? I hate these T rules about number of calls and texts and emails, etc. They don't seem fair when people are in pain and need them. It's like, either allow texting/emailing or don't. (My T just started offering emailing, and its my first T to offer something besides calling, so it's still such an odd thing for me...) Anyway, my point is, you need him and he should understand that and be there for you.

Thanks. Its too late now. I'll do it in the morning.

spill it all, if you can't be crazy with your T who can you be crazy with?

I think telling him how overwhelmed you feel is more appropriate. saying I am trying to tell you something doesn't say much. you need to tell him something, say what you need to say. youre telling us you are so overwhelmed it is causing you pain. you cant wait two weeks for an appt. tell him that.

Thanks Kali. I really can't think properly. Thats a much better suggestion. I have trouble asking for what I want.

Oh i feel your pain with this one! Check out my 'I feel the need to text my T and tell her i want to terminate, but i dont' thread (i think its called something like that).
I have huge problems just saying what i need too, its so difficult!

Most definately contact your therapist. If you are worried about the texting rule, then call. Try to go in and see them.

I hope that they can still see you, or at least help you to feel less overwhelmed and hurt.

Also, when this event passes (and it will, I promise), I think it will be very important to reflect on it and try and gain some insight from it.

How could you have changed your behaviour to have better helped yourself? Did you leverage the resources available to you as best you could? How can this be avoided/minimized in the future?

All I'm saying is that this could be a great opportunity to learn about yourself and how you react to situations in a manner that may not be best for you.

We've all been there, it'll get better.

I would suggest just calling and telling him what you wrote here along with seeing if there is an earlier available appointment. It does not sound as if texting more would be particularly useful at this point.

I agree - can you call and ask for an earlier appointment?

Well that experience really sucked. Got told to call the acute team, lifeline etc, and we are going to talk about the use of texts next session. I realise he's busy I just can't say what I NEED to say at the time. he had no more sessions left.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

That sounds like a terrible response from your T

If you have trouble expressing yourself in-session, maybe it would be a good idea to write out what's going on and bring that to session -not necessarily to give to him, but at least for you to be able to reference and maybe in writing it out you will get a better handle yourself on what's going on.

I can understand how a therapist wouldn't want to address such big things by text --I really don't see how it's even possible. I do understand the need to contact, though. And sorry that the texting issue wasn't clear before -though, who knows what he'll say about it when you talk in session. I'm sorry he didn't have any times available, I think seeing him would have been best.

Maybe this will at least lead to a useful discussion on what to do in times like these -what the boundaries are and especially what would be most beneficial to you and why. Sorry this happened.

I wasn't asking him to do therapy by text, just see me sooner. I feel let down because a while ago he said he'd always be pleased to see me outside scheduled sessions. Maybe I'm becoming too demanding. Though this only the 3rd time in 3 years I have asked.

It sounds like he is just fully booked rather than not wanting to see you. I realise how hurtful that must feel - but I think it's something to discuss with him.

I would tell him all of this and express how hurt and frustrated you are. And you do not sound too demanding at all...you are just asking for help when you need it!
I hope this is more of a misunderstanding regarding your needs than anything else. Anyway, I am so sorry this went badly and so sorry you are hurting.

((( Bipolarartist )))

Ouch. I can imagine how awful that must feel. It's so hard when things are spiraling out of control to know what you need. And then to get that kind of response just sux.

(( HUGS ))

I am sorry you received such an unsatisfactory answer from the therapist. But I do think there may be difference in the idea you texted him about an appointment availability (which he may or may not have had - and seemingly did not from his response) and your earlier description of sending him many texts of a somewhat ambiguous nature about what you wanted- which I thought (I could be mis-remembering) you indicated you had done.
So, to me, these seem like 2 separate sorts of things.
Again -I agree his response sounds like crap in terms of reassuring and comfort etc.

I know I was being ambiguous about appts in the texts I sent but I really could not decide whether I wanted to go or have a break from T. Plus I sent incidental texts not really T related, more socially related re our group. I think I am having trouble with his boundaries. But I feel i have to push them to get him to help me, but I guess he's not a mind reader.

True, he's not a mind reader. But I'm sure it's not a new concept to him. I've read - and even heard from my T - that clients do this kind of thing often. I wonder if you could approach it in a way where you share that you are so confused and don't even know what you're really feeling and if he can help you better understand it based on his experience. Maybe he can put some suggestions out there and you can see what fits for you.