[Miswimmy1]

Hey all,

Just wanted to give you an update. I am at Rogers Memorial in Wisconsin at a residential program. We do CBT three hours a day, group therapy, and individual therapy. Or that is what is supposed to happen. But things haven’t gone as planned.

My primary therapist is someone who is supposed to see me a couple days a week. But unfortunately that hasn’t been the case. She pissed me off the first day I met her. My therapist back at home is named Chris. The first thing this new therapist said to me when she met me was, “ill be your chris.” you have no idea how far from that she really is. Anyway, I brought it to my medical team’s attention that I wasn’t seeing her and I have been here almost four weeks. She took me aside to do some bonding. Then things went south. She literally sat me down, looked me in the eye, and said, “what if you never see chris again?” i began to cry.

Now you have to keep in mind that I am quite homesick for Chris. I saw her 3x a week. I had daily communication. I texted, emailed, called. I miss her. I miss her laugh, her understanding. It was one of those relationships that don’t come around very often. It was one of those that some people search their whole lives to find. If you have found that person in your life, then you understand where I am coming from. Now imagine some stranger that you have only seen twice in your entire life sit you and down, and shatter your world. That is how I feel and have been feeling since this happened two days ago.

I am heartbroken. And angry. Very angry. I feel manipulated. I talked to my pdoc here and all he talked about was how my therapist is right, that Chris had horrible boundaries, that she blurred a lot of the professional lines, etc. Its so hard to hear all the bad things about a person who helped you so much regardlss of the flaws. Everyone has flaws. And how can you call them flaws if they didn’t hurt you? I am confused. And angry. My pdoc mentioned that before he could make a final reccomendation to my parents, he wanted to talk to chris. So he could “make the hospital look good and preserve their reputation.” what kind of place is this!?!?!?!?!

I am angry. Confused. Hurt. I just want to get out of here. I miss Chris.

[anilam]

TBH I kind of felt that your T might have looser boundaries than what is considered the norm. However, every client has special needs and given that you're underage (child therapy has generally looser boundaries than adult one) she could have been doing what was best for you. IDK.
However, your wording:
' It was one of those relationships that don’t come around very often. It was one of those that some people search their whole lives to find. If you have found that person in your life, then you understand where I am coming from'
sounds kind of spooky to me. Can't really put a pin on it but this is a client-T RS you're talking about and it surely shouldn't be one of those that some ppl search their whole lives to find...
Anyway, do your parents know you haven't received individual therapy there? What was the reason behind that?

Plus, and this is just me, but please, be careful how much info you share here- it still IS an open forum and I would strongly encourage you to change names when/if you're using them.

Miswimmy,
I am so sorry this woman is treating you like this. She seems to be lacking any common sense or sensitivity. Just because she would not do the things your t did does not give her the right to critisize your therapists boundaries. Every client has different needs and should be given a different set of boundaries, this is obviously helping you, her loose boundaries worked and healed some parts of you.
Maybe this other therapist thinks she is doing you a favour by enlightening you to your therpists poor boundaries but she is actually enraging you.
I am sorry this is happeining but maybe it is something you need to look at?

[feralkittymom]

I'm glad you've checked in, but sad that things are not going well for you. I must say, the comments they're making about your T seem rather extreme given that they hardly know you, and it sounds like they know nothing of your therapy with her.

While it may be that your view of your relationship is somewhat unrealistic, to try to break the relationship by criticizing it seems a poor strategy on their part.

I wish this all were easier for you.

[wotchermuggle]

Wow. Regardless of whether or not what they said is true, I would be pissed and hurt all the same.

Sending you lots of love.

Do they expect that you won't go back to Chris when the program is over? I mean, what a bomb to drop on somebody.

Miswimmy1: I'm sorry you are in so much distress at the moment, and the hospital was of no help.
If you want to continue seeing your therapist you will need to turn to your parents. Go along with the program that they've offered. You will need to prepare a cogent argument to appeal to your parents to see your therapist. Try and wait till you get home. That means stepping out and stepping up. You can do it Miswimmy1 - you are at an age that you can advocate for yourself.

Also, beware of the 'yes- but' responses you may get to your thread, Which underneath may be saying the hospital may somewhat be right about your therapist, and your relationship. (Please be careful of using identifying info on the Internet.)

As so many people, including families, in this world are falling down like flies or stuck in the same place or afraid to stick their necks out and be vulnerable - with their therapist no less. I'm tired of hearing about this loose boundaries, no boundaries stuff. The term on PC is not even being used properly.

Remember Mis if you really want something you know how to be grown up about it, and go out and get it. Stay strong.

The Best to You,

GTGT

PS: Mis - my therapist wants me to turn off and stay off of PC while I'm away. And that happens tonight.

**i apologize if anyone feels offended.

Miswimmy1,

Try to watch your language - your self talk. There is no, "regardless of the flaws..." Your therapist did for you what she thought would help you, and I believe that is her professional opinion. Could she have made mistakes? Everyone does. Regardless, I think all our therapist has made mistakes. In no way is your therapist flawed or how you think about the relationship is flawed. When you extra time on your hands catch up on what has been happening. Many people are consumed with therapy, and therapist. They just have to deal or not deal with most of it on their own.

I'm willing to bet you've kept PC stuck in the dark recesses of your closet.

When you can swim, a lap or two for me.

Stand your ground - politely.

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

Hey all,

Just wanted to give you an update. I am at Rogers Memorial in Wisconsin at a residential program. We do CBT three hours a day, group therapy, and individual therapy. Or that is what is supposed to happen. But things haven’t gone as planned.

My primary therapist is someone who is supposed to see me a couple days a week. But unfortunately that hasn’t been the case. She pissed me off the first day I met her. My therapist back at home is named Chris. The first thing this new therapist said to me when she met me was, “ill be your chris.” you have no idea how far from that she really is. Anyway, I brought it to my medical team’s attention that I wasn’t seeing her and I have been here almost four weeks. She took me aside to do some bonding. Then things went south. She literally sat me down, looked me in the eye, and said, “what if you never see chris again?” i began to cry.

((((Miswimmy)))))
"I'll be your Chris." ??? Unbelievable. I am at a loss for words.

She took you aside to do some bonding and then said, "what if you never see Chris again?" Is she trying to get you to feel your feelings or something? How did she react when you cried? In order to push somebody to feel their emotions, imo, there has to be a safe relationship in place and clearly that hasn't been established. She hasn't even met you for your scheduled therapy meetings. This bothers me.

Now you have to keep in mind that I am quite homesick for Chris. I saw her 3x a week. I had daily communication. I texted, emailed, called. I miss her. I miss her laugh, her understanding. It was one of those relationships that don’t come around very often. It was one of those that some people search their whole lives to find. If you have found that person in your life, then you understand where I am coming from. Now imagine some stranger that you have only seen twice in your entire life sit you and down, and shatter your world. That is how I feel and have been feeling since this happened two days ago.

It is so normal after the family experience you have had to find your therapist to be the first one you can trust. Then to have a stranger retraumatize you doesn't sound like a healing experience. ((((Miswimmy)))))

I am heartbroken. And angry. Very angry. I feel manipulated. I talked to my pdoc here and all he talked about was how my therapist is right, that Chris had horrible boundaries, that she blurred a lot of the professional lines, etc. Its so hard to hear all the bad things about a person who helped you so much regardlss of the flaws. Everyone has flaws. And how can you call them flaws if they didn’t hurt you? I am confused. And angry. My pdoc mentioned that before he could make a final reccomendation to my parents, he wanted to talk to chris. So he could “make the hospital look good and preserve their reputation.” what kind of place is this!?!?!?!?!

Your feelings are very understandable! I would feel the same way. Did the Pdoc really say so he could "make the hospital look good and preserve their reputation."? Can you email Chris?

I am angry. Confused. Hurt. I just want to get out of here. I miss Chris.

((((((Miswimmy)))))))
Please keep us posted as much as you can. I am thinking about you and look forward to your next post. Love you to pieces! I am here for you.

[wotchermuggle]

Just wanted to bump this thread. Anyone heard anything more about Miswimmy?

[~EnlightenMe~]

Good idea to bump the thread. I also had PMd her, but haven't heard anything.