[tinyrabbit]

I feel like this is a stupid question, but here goes. On Friday, my T was talking about how I need somebody to trust but I don't have a template for that, how I keep panicking and losing the image of him as a good-enough therapist. I said I wouldn't blame him if he took the opportunity to get rid of me and he said I need to matter more to myself and expect more. He said: "I hold your hand such a lot in here, in my mind."

Since I left that session I've had a physical feeling in my chest, like something has come unstuck, and I don't know what it is. It's not attraction, because I don't have those kinds of feelings for my T. So what is it? Therapy love? Or some kind of attachment thing? Is this how little kids feel when they realise their parents love them? I don't know because my parents didn't take very good care of me. I don't know what this feeling is. I think I like it though.

[anilam]

Some kind of safety? Like you are not alone in this world and you have someone to count on but only 100times stronger?
IDK, I am not sure I've ever felt that (if so than only for a short while, than it's gone) but I do feel the longing for it.
Whatever it is I hope you will be able to retain this emotion though

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

I feel like this is a stupid question, but here goes. On Friday, my T was talking about how I need somebody to trust but I don't have a template for that, how I keep panicking and losing the image of him as a good-enough therapist. I said I wouldn't blame him if he took the opportunity to get rid of me and he said I need to matter more to myself and expect more. He said: "I hold your hand such a lot in here, in my mind."

Since I left that session I've had a physical feeling in my chest, like something has come unstuck, and I don't know what it is. It's not attraction, because I don't have those kinds of feelings for my T. So what is it? Therapy love? Or some kind of attachment thing? Is this how little kids feel when they realise their parents love them? I don't know because my parents didn't take very good care of me. I don't know what this feeling is. I think I like it though.

I think it's a good feeling and I'm glad you like it! Way back with my first T, I remember first feeling something like that. She used the word "connected" but I didn't understand. We looked at each other and it was time to leave. She said "it's hard to leave when you feel connected, isn't it?" Or somthing like that. I walked around in a daze after that session. I think it IS how kids feel when they realize their parents love them. It's connection/attachment and maybe therapy love. It's good to feel that in therapy.

[tinyrabbit]

I think it's good, too. Whatever it is, I suspect it's something that was missing from my childhood.

[feralkittymom]

Yup. The recognition that you matter to someone. That you are seen. That you exist. It's powerful. The good news is that it never goes away. The active sensation may lessen, but it leaves an imprint behind.

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

Yup. The recognition that you matter to someone. That you are seen. That you exist. It's powerful. The good news is that it never goes away. The active sensation may lessen, but it leaves an imprint behind.

Thank you for expressing what I was trying to get at, I just didn't quite know how. This is it! I'm glad it never goes away.

[Sabra]

Tinyrabbit,

I had a breakthrough with my therapist......she had her hand on my back. When I left there, I continued to feel it. There were times between sessions, I could feel her hand. I think it was a body memory stored for the times of difficulty.

That's how I understood what happened.

Sabra

[feralkittymom]

Originally Posted by Sabra

Tinyrabbit,

I had a breakthrough with my therapist......she had her hand on my back. When I left there, I continued to feel it. There were times between sessions, I could feel her hand. I think it was a body memory stored for the times of difficulty.

That's how I understood what happened.

Sabra

Sabra, this EXACT thing happened for me--and the sensation returned 15 years later during an unexpected highly stressful moment.

Freaky, yet wonderful.

Tiny rabbit,
I am glad you felt that feeling and allowed yourself to feel it. It is the most amazing thing to feel like you matter after never feeling that when we were smaller.
Do you think you will tell your t next session, maybe it will bring you closer again and to connect at another level. I am sure would be very happy to know that you are letting him in and trusting that he cares for you
I felt that for the first time at Christmas just gone. T gave me a lovely card and said that she knew how hard it was gonna be and she emailed me over Christmas and it actually felt for the first time ever what love was- not love between lovers but love between two adults who care deeply about the other.

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Tiny rabbit,
I am glad you felt that feeling and allowed yourself to feel it. It is the most amazing thing to feel like you matter after never feeling that when we were smaller.
Do you think you will tell your t next session, maybe it will bring you closer again and to connect at another level. I am sure would be very happy to know that you are letting him in and trusting that he cares for you
I felt that for the first time at Christmas just gone. T gave me a lovely card and said that she knew how hard it was gonna be and she emailed me over Christmas and it actually felt for the first time ever what love was- not love between lovers but love between two adults who care deeply about the other.

Thank you. YES I am going to tell him!

I'm glad you have felt this kind of love with your T too

I hope it goes well and you stay connected
Let us know how it goes

[tinyrabbit]

Thanks - I am having a slightly tough day due to some idiot online commenters (made a thread in survivors of abuse about it) so will probably mostly talk about that. But am going to tell him the nice stuff too.

Awe that's the trouble with forums people are so vulnerable when they post and it only takes one insensitive comment to trigger us. We are all here if you need to talk about anything until you see t

[Bloem]

Tiny rabbit,

experiencing that feeling is something very valuable, especially if you never felt it when you were a child. it shows the good relationship you have with your T and that you are able to connect with him. I see it as a breakthrough and a way of healing (in my situation and experience)
In a time when things were not going so well with me, my T sent me a message for the nighty to wish me a good night. I told her later that it gave me a good feeling that I was not alone in that period. Then she said: "I do not always send a message in real, but in my mind I do it often" for the first time I could feel that someone cared about me and that I am not alone.

Its a wonderfull when things like that happen in therapy.

Liefs,
Bloem

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Awe that's the trouble with forums people are so vulnerable when they post and it only takes one insensitive comment to trigger us. We are all here if you need to talk about anything until you see t

Thank you. It was actually an online newspaper article - and a lot of insensitive comments . Thank you for the .

Originally Posted by Bloem

Tiny rabbit,

experiencing that feeling is something very valuable, especially if you never felt it when you were a child. it shows the good relationship you have with your T and that you are able to connect with him. I see it as a breakthrough and a way of healing (in my situation and experience)
In a time when things were not going so well with me, my T sent me a message for the nighty to wish me a good night. I told her later that it gave me a good feeling that I was not alone in that period. Then she said: "I do not always send a message in real, but in my mind I do it often" for the first time I could feel that someone cared about me and that I am not alone.

Its a wonderfull when things like that happen in therapy.

Liefs,
Bloem

It is indeed wonderful. I'm glad your T said that to you