[Miswimmy1]

I recently discovered, that T1 and T2 basically hate each other. Quote T2 about T1: "I am angry at her. I do not like what she did to you. You have to understand that if you choose to work with me, you are working with someone who does not approve of your former t." Quote T1 on T2: "She seems... competent enough. *sarcasm*" Just little jabs at each other... (not in each other's presence of course) make me feel uncomfortable.

I don't care what they think of each other. It was very clear from the beginning the resentment they had for each other. But I feel like it is unprofessional and they should keep their comments to themselves. Also, I keep being asked by T2, if I am angry at T1. I am not angry at her, and i feel like she is pressuring me, like I should be angry at her because of what she did. It's just a very awkward, uncomfortable position, on top of everything else that has happened. I know my values and I know where I stand on the issue. But should I tell both Ts what I think about their unprofessional-ness? And if so, how do I bring it up?

[healed84]

Misswimmy 1...

It is not fair that the ts are talking about each other to you. Therapy is about you. I know that you had a great connection with T1, but from what I see, from the time your were in residential treatment until now, things have been all about T1 and barley any mention of your how Mental health since being out. I really, really hope you can get these T issues figured out so you can start to focus once a gain on YOU!

[unaluna]

I think all t2 is saying is that things are going to be different between you and her than they were with t1, and do you realize and accept that? So if you say to her, that's not what t1 would do in this situation, she's gonna be like, well I warned you we were gonna do things differently. It's not so much to badmouth t1. That's my take on it, anyway. If you want to know what specifically t2 didn't like about what t1 did, I guess you could ask. But she might not think it therapeutic to discuss it.

[Moodswing]

When I first told T1 the name of T2 it was clear(though he tried to keep his analytical stance) that he was rubbed the wrong way by T2 the first time he met him at a seminar or convention. He told me the story and I thought T1 was being childish. As far as I know they only had one conversation regarding me. T2 has had to put out T1 fires and I am thankful for that but they do not trash each other in front of me.

[Bill3]

But should I tell both Ts what I think about their unprofessional-ness? And if so, how do I bring it up?

I would not use any term along the lines of unprofessional.

Don't bring it up, but the next time one of them brings up the other might be a good chance to practice assertiveness and use "I" statements.

For example,

I ask that you not speak about T1 [T2] to me again.

In your own words of course.

Sigh. This works against your progress and is a constant distraction (for you and for them)... I came in to the middle of your story and certainly won't ask you to repeat it as I have gotten the general points of it (and feel bad you are stuck in such terrible circumstances.)
I don't remember though, do you HAVE to see T2 or can you switch her out for a new and improved model? I know you love T1 and are trying to work on closure...being told you should be angry with her, which is your decison to make, who you are angry with and when (a T tried the exact same thing on me before because she disliked my ex-T's actions, and it didn't work because I wasn't angry with him; there wasn't anything to be angry at him about re: what SHE didn't like. Those were her own issues.). Being manipulated like that leads to more pain and resentment when what you need is support.
(And I am sorry, I don't think I answered your question at all, perhaps because it brings up emotional issues for me as well.)

[Anne2.0]

I think that when you are a professional, it's difficult to keep your feelings about what other professionals do to yourself. Your T's should not be making snarky comments to you, though. It is an example of triangulation, having a third person sort of in the room, and they are bring the other one in (not you), and it puts something into your therapy that shouldn't be there.

I like Bill's suggestion about raising it the next time someone says the snarky thing. Personally, if it were me and it were bugging me right now, I would say, "I feel, T, that you have made the occasional side comment about other T, something negative about her, and it has bothered me when this happens. I haven't been able to speak up about it until now, but I want to raise this with you."

[Syra]

I have a new T, who based on things I have told him, has concerns about things old T did. But he's never said anything in a snarky way. He is compassionate about her, but not in a way that takes away any support he has for me. That's good, because I don't have to worry about being mean and turning a colleague against another colleague. It's actually kind of freeing.

What you talk about sounds like being caught between two divorcing parents who try to bring the kid into things to help the parent feel better - when it should be about what does the kid need to feel better.

[WikidPissah]

It's almost like divorced parents trashing each other to their children. Almost, because I don't see T's in a parental roll. It is indeed unprofessional for one T to speak badly of the other, but simply saying "I am angry with T1" doesn't constitute speaking badly.

I would tell them it makes you uncomfortable, and you prefer not to hear it.