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Old May 23, 2013, 04:31 PM
kmsmith111 kmsmith111 is offline
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Location: Philadelphia
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I saw a therapist-in-training mainly for social anxiety for 16 months. He was absolutely wonderful, and I thought I'd be able to stay with him for a long time as I'd believed he was staying in the city (Philadelphia) after he finished his training. He wound up moving back to NYC to start his practice, and the loss was more devastating than any other I'd experienced. I'd had a great relationship with him, different from any other relationship I'd ever had.

He referred me to another therapist who I've been seeing for the past year, but now she's also moving (I did know this when I started with her).

I don't really want to start all over again with a new therapist and would love to see my old therapist again. I wish I could see him every week as I did before, but b/c of financial issues (he doesn't take insurance and my OON benefits aren't that great) and the fact that NYC is a couple of hours away, I'd probably only be able to see him every two or even three months at a maximum.

Has anyone ever done this? Is it required to attend a certain number of sessions; should I even bother to ask him?

Thanks in advance!

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  #2  
Old May 26, 2013, 01:29 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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It should be OK to ask, if that's what you want.

I have heard it is fairly standard for people to see their old Ts occasionally after they formally quit. That's what I intend to do. In fact, Madame T has already agreed in principle.
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  #3  
Old May 26, 2013, 07:46 AM
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sunrise sunrise is offline
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Have you terminated with your current T yet? I think this would be a good topic to ask your T's advice on.

Also, even if your former T won't bill your insurance company, can you submit the bills to insurance on your own? If you can do that, you might save some money.
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  #4  
Old May 26, 2013, 09:12 AM
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winter4me winter4me is offline
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There is no reason not to ask. I had a t. in the past who I had "prn" appointments with, it was what I needed at the time and worked well.
  #5  
Old May 26, 2013, 09:55 AM
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Perna Perna is offline
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I do not think you can get enough out the therapist only seeing them 3-6 times a year; there's not enough continuity there for real therapy and just seeing someone because you really enjoy seeing them/they're helpful is pretty much "friend" stuff.

I would look for a local therapist that you would like to work with on your issues at least as much as your first therapist. If you have an opportunity/interest in moving to New York, then you'd know someone to see there :-)
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  #6  
Old May 26, 2013, 10:55 AM
Fartraveler Fartraveler is offline
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Lots of therapists do skype or phone sessions, so distance isn't really a deal-breaker anymore.

And lots of people see ex-therapists on an occasional or as-needed basis.

You should certainly ask your therapist.

(He might do a sliding scale also (esp. for patients he already has a relationship.))

Good luck.
  #7  
Old May 26, 2013, 02:24 PM
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dizgirl2011 dizgirl2011 is offline
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Hi,

I have to mainly agree with Perna that seeing a therapist every 3-6 months is likely not to be very helpful, however it does depend on how much more you need or want to work on and what you think you will be able to get out of an hour every 3-6 months, which is more of a catch-up or some form of maintainance, rather than therapy.The likelihood is that if you seen him every 3 months, it would take the majority of the hour to just catch up on the time between sessions and what has gone on.

As someone else said, perhaps you could ask your current therapist on some advice about this.

I'm sorry that you are now in this position again of perhaps looking for a new therapist.
  #8  
Old May 26, 2013, 04:05 PM
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Miswimmy1 Miswimmy1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kmsmith111 View Post
the loss was more devastating than any other I'd experienced. I'd had a great relationship with him, different from any other relationship I'd ever had. I don't really want to start all over again with a new therapist and would love to see my old therapist again.
I don't have any great words of advice for you, as i am going through the whole "loss" thing right now. But I'm happy for you that going back to your old t is an option. I think it would be worth a shot. The worst he could say is no.
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  #9  
Old May 27, 2013, 09:35 AM
nonamecomestomind nonamecomestomind is offline
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I know I am in the minority on this but I see my therapist on a "as needed" basis and that comes to around 8-10 times in a year. I mostly go because one of my children is extremely difficult to parent (likely has undiagnosed issues). When I just can't handle it by myself anymore, start to lose all self-esteem, think I'm a horrible parent, anxiety starts to surge, etc then I know I need a session or two.
  #10  
Old May 28, 2013, 03:40 PM
kmsmith111 kmsmith111 is offline
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Member Since: May 2013
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 13
Thanks everyone for the responses! I'm definitely going to ask him, although I do see the point about it not being very helpful if most of the session is spent just catching up on everything. He might be open to phone sessions, though; thanks Fartraveler for that suggesion. I checked, and he does have a sliding scale, plus my insurance covers some of it, so maybe it won't be as difficult financially as I thought. It would be nice to see him at least once so I could feel like I have some closure - at least this time if I can't see him it'll be due to my own circumstances. I haven't spoken to my current therapist about it b/c I feel kind of bad, like I've just been biding my time waiting for her to leave so I can contact my old therapist again.
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