[Miswimmy1]

Ok so I get the sense that transferance is when you transfer feelings about someone else onto your therapist? Can you have transferance about yourself? I was just thinking because T1 reminds me so much of myself... Like that's why I like her so much (not to sound narcissistic). She's like a better version of me and that's why I look up to her so much. Is that transferance?

No, I think that's what is called projective identification.

[edited to add: Transference is when we project feelings/thoughts related to another person onto (for example) the therapist. (It's also what happens in "love at first sight" situations, apparently - we don't know the other person, so the loving feelings are not really about that person but about someone else - very interesting stuff!) Projecting feelings/thoughts related to ourselves is a different thing, so there's different terminology.]

[Perna]

Transference does not just happen in therapy but in all life; if you argue with your boss because he unconsciously reminds you of your authoritarian father, etc. Everyone has situations of transference and of projection (attributing something in you or that you do to another). The degree and whether it is good/bad depends on your background and the current situation and if it gets in your way, how aware of it you are, etc.

Therapy is set up to encourage transference so you can explore it and see your own patterns, discuss it, etc. and not be "blind" to it outside in other situations. In other words, "It's not one thing, it's your mother" :-)

[~EnlightenMe~]

It sounds like maybe you identify with parts of her? I think transference is when you project your thoughts/feelings onto someone else. I am not sure, though.

[Miswimmy1]

Originally Posted by Antimatter

It sounds like maybe you identify with parts of her?

yup yup!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

Ok so I get the sense that transferance is when you transfer feelings about someone else onto your therapist? Can you have transferance about yourself? I was just thinking because T1 reminds me so much of myself... Like that's why I like her so much (not to sound narcissistic). She's like a better version of me and that's why I look up to her so much. Is that transferance?

here where I live and work yes this can be a form of transference. it can also be idolization (idolizing your therapist/putting your therapist on a pedestal where you only see the good and what you want to see in them) and like someone already mentioned it can also be you projecting your image into your therapist.