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Originally Posted by ultramar
Are you really sure she's wearing that clothing because you do? Maybe she's come to like to dress that way? It's not considering 'mirroring' in any case. The coughing and crossing legs may be an unconscious type of mirroring or may be coincidence.
Who really knows what goes on in the mind of T's... But I'd really realty-check this if I were you. If true it would be seriously off the wall --do you think she's that out there?
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Well I posted the mirroring link on the first page and actually this is is considered mirroring. She started to change her style of clothes a while ago after we had seen each other for a long time, maybe 6 months every week. We don't know what goes on in a ts mind but what I do know is what happens in the room and that is mirroring.
Quote:
Originally Posted by turtle2
I can see why this could bother you. I felt that way at first too.
My therapist used to mirror me, both in action and even in how she dressed for a brief period. We had a rupture two years ago and she stopped. I have to admit I miss it now.
Mirroring felt to the adult side of me awkward and weird at first – plus, I was not even sure it was even happening until I accidently jerked my head to the side and she did too! It just seemed strange and too close. I soon realized though that she was this person who cared enough to change even her body language to try to reach me. I imagine that mirroring like that is not easy to do while paying attention to everything else that they do in therapy. The effort she was going through itself managed to reach the adult intellectual side of me.
How mirroring works is still kind of a mystery to me, but I think it does. I do know that before our rupture, when she was still mirroring me, my inner kid was at the surface and ready to move forward. After our rupture and the mirroring stopped, I’ve really struggled to get back to that place. I don’t know if that is due to the rupture or the lack of mirroring, or both.
I think it worked with me because I’m working on attachment stuff though. If a person was in therapy working on other issues it might seem out of place.
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Well I am not sure how it works for the client yet, maybe it is to be close to them and show an understanding and to walk in their shoes. I am in therapy for attachment too. Could you tell t that you are struggling to get back to where you were before the rupture?
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Originally Posted by Perna
How do you know you are not mirroring her?  I did that quite a bit with my T, started to wear my wedding ring because I liked the look of hers on her hand, etc. You aren't her only client I don't think so it would be harder for her to pick you out and mirror you than for you to mirror her. |
Thank you Perna for the different take on this. I could be mirroring her for sure and never thought about that. I know I have done this in the past with people I have been close too but me sense of dress is quite unusual so I know that it is a part of me that is unique and t tries to wear the same style, maybe not just for me but everyday and I only noticed because it has changed recently but I have always been known for my sense of style being unique.
Quote:
Originally Posted by _Mouse
That's not mirroring. What I find strange is your not her only client in a day. Why would she only dress to mimic you, and how does she know what you've decided to wear before she's seen you?
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This is mirroring. I realise I am not her only client and that her day does not revolve around me. We do not wear the same clothes obviously but she wears the same type of clothing lately.
May 31, 2013, 07:37 AM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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