Couch 53 Bringing it All Back Home

I sometimes get a block when I have too many ideas and can't choose between them. It is difficult to start on plan A when plan B might be better.

The solution is to give myself time and permission to do both plans. Then it doesn't matter so much which one I do first.

Not stupid at all. It is hard to cope with the idealisation of fatherhood when you didn't even have an adequate father.

Hey.... just bought a universal charger because my laptop charger had a short... want to get my parent's tax return that I filed electronically printed out so I can take it with me...

the whole killing 2 birds with one stone thing...

awww....poor little birdies. No throwing stones at them!

(((ready)))

Now that is bringing it all back home!!

You might have just gotten me out of my infinite rumination loop! Thanks!!

Trigger for father issues*****


I just saw a father and his 8 year old daughter walking hand in hand down the street... it made me so sad... I thought I'd grieved the childhood I didn't have enough but I guess not...

etterman rerun this past week, jack hannah brought him some baby crows and baby owls, I thought about you. So cuuuuute!!

It's a grieving kind of day Ready.

I am grieving for a lot today.
I am acting out too.

Okay....just an update on my trying to stay above the rising darkness... today I set my alarm clock and got up and took my kids to Sunday School and church. Came home and made lunch. Then my older son decided to mow the lawn as his gift to H and I took younger son to mall to return somethings and to buy the universal changer and of course my son bought himself a video game.

Now I'm going to my sisters... I even managed to find a card that I could stomach giving to my dad. It was funny I read one card to Dad from daughter and it talked about learning to ride a bike and I thought who taught me.. and then the whole rose bush incident came back to my mind.... I taught myself by pushing off the steps a gazillion times until I could keep going...

After we get home from sisters... I will need to go to grocery store because my son is going to a basketball camp next week and he has to bring his lunch. Not too bad for wanting to sleep the hours away. As harsh as it seems, the thing that has made this the easiest is that my H has had to work both days this weekend so that has helped dramatically.

Feeling kind of invisible on the couch these days!

(((healed))) I see you. I am sorry you feel that way, I have felt that way before and it sux.

Hi Healed... I'm sorry you are feeling invisible .... I'm feeling that way too... I keep telling myself its not really about me... first off...the weekends are always very slow. second - we are all missing Lola thirdly - its a bad day for everyone (most everyone) so it makes it hard to be there for other people...

what did you end up doing on your childless day with H?

So pissed off right now. Tried writing in my journal about it, but it didn't really help. Trying not to email T about it (even though she is okay with email) because I don't want to get in the habit of always sending her multiple emails between sessions.

My mom has been "ignoring" my calls for 3 or 4 days now. She has been sending text messages ir emails saying she is "working" on ministry stuff and will call me when she takes a break. She hasn't called yet, I don't believe she has been working for that many days straight for the entire time she is awake without taking a break. It pisses me off. If she can take time to long onto email and send an email to me, she has time to make a simple phone call. My grandma's birthday is aways around father's day (sometimes on it), so I have been trying to get a hold mf my mom to find out when it is. Hopefully I haven't missed it. I even tried texting my mom to ask, since she didn't seem to want to talk, but she couldn't even respond to that. How hard is it to send a damn date?

It's high school all over again. After her divorce, she abandoned me to fulfill her own desires and will, and now it's almost like she is abandoning me again. Why does this abandonment thing have to keep rearing it's ugly head?

Or maybe I am so pissed about it because I don't agree with her ministry, so I don't feel she should be spending so much time on it. The website for their ministry basically says they go into third world countries doing what Jesus did...then they list the following examples...preach the good news, heal the sick, raise the dead, and cast out demons. That's just a little too weird for me. I am a Christian, but even that is crossing the line for me and I mentioned it to my pastor and he agreed, so it's not just me who has a problem with it. Preach the good news...fine. Heal the sick...maybe. Cast out demons...maybe. Raise the dead...umm no.

Hi Healed. Hope you are having a good day.

squirrel...that is weird. Sorry she's not responding to you.

can you send your grandma a card anyway even if you dont know the date .i bet it is today .my son was born on farthers day so every 4 years it falls on farthers day other then that it is close to it

My grandma lives 5 minutes away from me, I wanted to take her out to eat for her bday. I guess it doesn't have to be on her bday...I just wanted it to be.

Hey squirrel - does she go to Haiti? Don't they still do that stuff there? When in Rome - so to speak! (Little Pope joke there - very little... )

There's a book by Evelyn Waugh about an Englishman who goes to South America - it was also made into a movie. It is positively hair-raising.

ETA: A Handful of Dust

do you know if she was born on farthers day .if so it might be today

Can you just call your gramma, and say "hey, I wanted to take you out to eat for your birthday, can you come on _____". You aren't saying you don't know when it is, or that you are taking her out ON her birthday. Believe me, your gramma will love being with you any day.

No they go to Nicrauga (sp?) and the poor parts of Costa Rica and the poor parts of Columbia.

True. I may try doing that.

sorry...in my book charity begins at home. If you can't love and support your daughter, you have no business ministering to another country.

Just sayin...

(it's a pet peeve of mine...these ministers who can't take care of their own)

I don't know...I just know it falls on Father's day sometimes. I think it is the same as Garfield's (the comic strip cat), and his is around now because they are talking about getting older in the recent strips.

EDIT: I guess I could google Garflied's bday. I just thought about that.

EDIT 2: Just found it on Wikipedia. It's June 19th. I always remember her lauhing that Garfield was "born" on her birthday when I was a kid. So that helped me find it without my stupid mother.