Couch 53 Bringing it All Back Home

That was not the point I was trying to make.
Sometimes one wants company, sometimes advice (not me usually, but I think sometimes people ask for it), sometimes just a space to say stuff with no real life repercussions.
It is all good, in my opinion, whatever it is you are using it for.

SD.... what I want is someone to tell me how to remember the past?

I don't know if Stop has replied yet, but the test can vary from State to State. In mine, you must have been so mentally ill that you could not understand the nature of your act and were unable to know the difference between right and wrong, or were unable to understand that it was against the law.

MKAC what are the rules in Texas?

RTS - I don't think there is a definitive method for remembering the past. I think you start by working with what you remember and go from there. I also think it is not supposed to be a big deal in therapy if the memories are dead on accurate or not. This second part bothers me a lot. I would like to be able to go back and review the tapes.

MKAC - I did not give as lawyerly a response as you did. My response was, in fact, not lawyerly at all.
It is also important not to commit matricide in a state with the death penalty. Bad plan.

Good lord, defense attorneys are not supposed to give you people directions.

(Ready) I don't know how to remember things either. But...I will say that some times people can forget bad stuff, including SA. I forgot most of my childhood and I forgot a lot(not all though) of CSA but I know it did happen- been told by people(mom) who said they knew about it.

Funny thing my Doctor and Nurse friends say the same thing...LOL

i'm scared because i feel so trapped and see no way away from the mother . she will taint my life in misery for as long as i am around and is able to . i hate me

Lola, I'm sure Texas has some weird, draconian, incredibly pro prosecution kind of rule. Like you have to be certified insane before you commit the crime or something.

My daughter came up and asked me if I am really stressed or am I really distressed tonight. I just said, "yes." sigh. Some is just work related, like an appellate court decided to expedite one of my appeals four days before the brief due date (which means they will not allow any extensions of time to file the briefs) -- on a Thursday -- and did not put it on the computer system or send me notice until TODAY, the exact same ****ing date the brief is due. The problem with that is that extensions of time are ROUTINELY granted at least three times, so no one ever plans to file the brief on the first ****ing date unless the case is expedited. Which this one wasn't. So I didn't do the brief; I did a motion for extension of time which is what we always do. So obviously I cannot turn it in today. The clerk's response was basically that I should have known that this type of case is "always" expedited. Yes. Well, it is only the third one of these type of cases I have ever done so I didn't ****ing know that.

And therapy is hard. It's just ****ing hard.

OH, AND in my last case of this type, the Court allowed the other side TWO extensions of time despite the case being expedited, but they are telling me that MAYBE they will give me until the end of the week to turn it in. I ****ing hate these people.

The unacceptable face of boundaries.

MKAC - Wow, that's incredibly frustrating. A-holes.

RTS - I'd imagine that the pressure you're putting on yourself to remember isn't helping a whole lot. I can understand the desire to know. I blocked out a lot of my memories until it was triggered by a traumatizing event that I witnessed. It's not as uncommon as you may think. And ultimately, it's not the events that have meaning, it's how you're impacted in the current day that holds a lot of value. Of course, putting it in the context of something that you can make sense of certainly would be helpful.

Granite - I remember in times of distress when I felt like I was stuck in doing things or being in a situation that I felt I had no control over, T reminded me that as an adult that I have choices. It was frustrating to hear because I felt SO stuck and felt like I HAD to do what was expected of me....and T told me that the fear of change must be really strong in order to tolerate the discomfort I was in...and that only when the discomfort becomes unbearable will I take the risk to do something different. That really stuck with me.

Wiki - I would be SO pissed at your brother. I'd find it nearly impossible to sit back and continue to let him get away with what he's doing to your mom. Even though getting involved doesn't sound appealing, anger would push me to get that gravy train to stop.

What if you drive her over the state border and kill her there?

I survived group. I stayed present which was a plus. I didn't puke. Another plus. I held back on some things that I wanted to express and didn't address co-T....not so good. *sigh*

Migraine is a little less intense...although now I have pieces of pain patches on my neck and head. I look ridiculous - but I'm hoping it'll help.

Then it's a federal offense, CE. You don't want to do time in a federal penitentiary.

Hell--oo. It is 85 degrees as I type this in the man cave. Heat pump is running fine according to the experts. Unacceptable. I may have to move.

Brave girl! Well done!

At least I wouldn't be sleeping in the gym like in California.

I always heard it was Club Fed? As in not so bad?

That's what I'd always heard as well Lola. My understanding is that state prison is much worse that federal prison.

I'd just as soon not do either. Though Columbia, SC is its own kind if hell. Just without the sodomy.

You guys are talking about where the white collar criminals go. LOL. The violent offenders do not get the cushy treatment. At least not in my State. The federal pen is much more violent and your family has less access for visitation. The State prison has a really nice yard where families can socialize and walk around. The federal pen has a single room with no privacy, no nice chairs, and you're sitting right next to some other inmate visiting with his family.

Maybe federal women's facilities are different. I've never been in one.

Sadly, most of my clients start out in a state that has no death penalty and cross the border over into my state where it does exist. Going the other way would be a better plan. I have a couple of guys like this. They were not charged with Federal crimes, just a bunch of state ones. In a few different states. Just the murder took place just over the border. Like within feet of it. Or just across the bridge in the other.
I mean not that killing is a good plan ever, but if it was going to happen, drive to the non-death penalty state rather than the one with it.
From my death penalty defense counsel stand point.

I read Atlanta was the hell-hole of the federal penitentiary system. I was once addicted to mafia books.