[tinyrabbit]

If you think of your T at home, do you have a particular mental picture? I've realised I always imagine my T in a kitchen, cooking. In my head, he's a bit of a foodie who likes to cook, with the radio on.

My T makes coffee in our sessions and there's a counter in the therapy room that kind of reminds me of a kitchen counter, so that might explain it, but it's basically completely imagined.

What about you?

[pbutton]

He told me last night that he had been planning to go home and work in the yard. (It had started to thunder so we were talking about the weather.) So I suppose I now picture him mowing his lawn.

[LadyShadow]

I picture him just relaxing watching tv, with the volume down. He is under so much stress but likes to be around people. So I think he would like to relax with a little bit of background noise. That's how I picture him.

[healed84]

My t is a professed video game junky! So, when I think of him, I see him sitting on a couch doing things gamers do I do know he does way more than this, but this is just what I think of!

[content30]

I've not really done that, but if I did, she'd probably be tending to her kids, cleaning, doing laundry, or reading, with some interaction with her husband.

[nessaea]

Interesting question, tinyrabbit!

I think I mostly picture my T interacting with her kids. It's been a few years since I've seen pictures of them, so I'm sure they look different by now, but I generally imagine her playing with them, talking with them, doing homework with them, etc. I sometimes picture her just relaxing, like knitting or reading a book, but it is mostly with her family.

It has never been much of a mystery, so I don't really "imagine" much. T is a very outdoorsy man and talks often about walking his dog, riding his bike, working in the yard, etc. He also loves to cook and spend time with his 4 children and 6 (I think--I've lost track) grandchildren. Pretty much a pretty typical life.

[almostthere]

I never think about my T, he/she, would look like as they live their personal lives. Remember, that the core reason you r in therapy is that u have issues which pose a challenge in dealing with issues that hold u back from enjoying your life to the fullest. Your T is there to help u but if u start to think about how he, or she, lives their life than u are not thinking about the reason u went there in the first place. U r there to get better and u have to b mindful of that and have to concentrate on your recovery.

Just think about it....if u were to ask your T about how he, or she, spends their time at home when alone, how do do think he, or she, would react?? Who is the therapist here???, U, or the T???

Please be careful about treading on roses. They often have thorns that hurt!!!.

Regards,

"almostthere"

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

If you think of your T at home, do you have a particular mental picture? I've realised I always imagine my T in a kitchen, cooking. In my head, he's a bit of a foodie who likes to cook, with the radio on.

My T makes coffee in our sessions and there's a counter in the therapy room that kind of reminds me of a kitchen counter, so that might explain it, but it's basically completely imagined.

What about you?

[HealingTimes]

I imagine my T in her kitchen, pottering about and cooking.
It's quite a dim kitchen, and quite cluttered (well, it was last time i saw it).
She also has 2 puppies, so i imagine her walking them in the woods (i have seen he a few times).

[murray]

I imagine my T doing lots of the things that I know he does- gardening, yardwork, cooking, watching sports on tv with the volume off(as he said,he doesn't need some announcer telling him what he is watching on screen), hiking, computer stuff, meeting with friends.....basically living a normal balanced life. It's a good example for me.

[Miswimmy1]

She told me that she likes to read a lot in her favorite chair. i imagine her by the fire, in her chair, with her dog at her feet, reading.

[critterlady]

Wait, are you saying that Ts exist outside of their offices?

[MASIMO]

I think i know him well enough to not have to imagine.
Although I would like to spend a typical day with him to be sure.

[wotchermuggle]

I know he bbq's and likes to read, so I imagine him doing one of those.

[rainbow8]

I visualize my T painting, as that is her hobby. She probably had a studio or a separate room in her house, but I don't know if that's the case now. I also can visualize her playing with her dog.

I know my t well enough as well so i already know the things she does at home.

[likelife]

I used to visualize exT tending to her young kids, or puttering around on her computer.

I haven't really imagined currentT at home. I know she has kids, and have been there when she talked with one on the phone, so I have a little bit of a sense of how she is with them. Have also heard her talk on the phone with her husband (this was all in the same session which was held at a non-standard time, so she ended up doing some coordinating while I was there). Her H is a therapist too, but I don't know anything else about him. Except that T said he works for her

[tooski]

Between what he has told me (always in context of the therapy conversation) and my own observations of him, I think he's always busy. He writes papers about psychology for various publications, is into photography and then setting the pictures to music on his computer, works on research projects in psychology, runs every day, doesn't watch much TV, manages his own stock portfolio, etc etc. He has a strong work ethic. I don't picture him sitting around very much. He's pretty upbeat during sessions - a lot of the time the clients before me come out appearing really pumped!! I think he's much grumpier in his personal life .....

T likes to do her gardening. She loves to lie out in the sun, I was driving by her house once( not stalking) and she was lying in her garden catching some rays. T also likes to have dinner parties with friends, she loves reading too. So I could see her sorting her jewellery and trying on her expensive clothes

I try not to. It will just lead to heartache.

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by critterlady

Wait, are you saying that Ts exist outside of their offices?

I know, right?

The other day I arrived five minutes before my T session and my T came out of the room and said he was just going to the bathroom. And I jokingly told him he was meant to just exist in the therapy room, like teachers just exist in school classrooms.

Originally Posted by almostthere

I never think about my T, he/she, would look like as they live their personal lives. Remember, that the core reason you r in therapy is that u have issues which pose a challenge in dealing with issues that hold u back from enjoying your life to the fullest. Your T is there to help u but if u start to think about how he, or she, lives their life than u are not thinking about the reason u went there in the first place. U r there to get better and u have to b mindful of that and have to concentrate on your recovery.

Just think about it....if u were to ask your T about how he, or she, spends their time at home when alone, how do do think he, or she, would react?? Who is the therapist here???, U, or the T???

Thanks for your post almostthere, but I'll have to respectfully disagree. First off, there's a big difference between asking my T about what he actually does in his personal life, and imagining what I like to think he does, in my head, according to my fantasy of what he is like. That's all me.

A while ago, I read an article or a blog post or something about a therapy group where each group member described their own, imagined version of what the T did outside of the group, what his home was like, etc - all completely different. The point being that part of being in therapy involves constructing an image of your T, because you see them for an hour a week or whatever, but they become an important part of your life and you get attached to them.

For what it's worth, the issues I have include attachment problems, caused by early trauma, and major trust issues. As my T puts it, I need someone to trust but I don't have a template for that. Learning about who my T is, and how he lives his life, is hugely important because I'm forming an image of him as someone I can trust.

The more I do that, the better I am at recognising transference (I used to experience my T shouting at me or being horrible and have gradually learned that it's not what's really happening) and also the better I am at holding onto the image of the good-enough therapist - so, when something upsets me, I don't freak out and lose that image like I did at the beginning.

Who he is matters a lot. He isn't just a stuffed toy who sits in the room while I talk. He's not a blank screen. He's an actual person, with a personality. We have talked about who he is - because sometimes I mishear or misremember what he says, and he says it's okay if I kind of make up some things he's said in my head, so long as they're consistent with who he is as a person.

If I ask him about how he spends his time at home, one or both of the following things will happen: either he'll answer (like when I asked him if he watches Doctor Who) or he'll be interested in why I'm asking.

If I told my T how I imagine him at home, I suspect he would just be really interested in why I imagined that, how I felt when I imagined it, why I was asking, and how I imagined I might feel if he answered. As to concentrating on my recovery, I don't really know how to, yet. My T says he'll handle the process and I just need to keep on turning up.

[BonnieJean]

Mine likes to read. I can't picture her cooking or eating. I think she's in a loving, playful relationship with her husband. I picture in front of the computer struggling with technology. I don't want to picture her with friends.

[unaluna]

Today we were talking about rollup sandwiches, and he said it's exciting in his house when he sneezes while he's eating, cus his 2 dogs try to catch the flying food bits before they hit the floor. I pictured a scene from the Ed Sullivan show.

I imagine my xT is home watching baseball on TV ignoring his wife and kids.... doing all the things he says H's shouldn't do.

[adam_k]

My T seems pretty attached to her kids. I mean she should be, but I see her at home playing and interacting with them. Maybe analyzing thier little minds to figure them out.