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  #1  
Old Jun 25, 2013, 04:21 PM
Anonymous37890
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I am adamantly against blaming anyone for my problems so I have to face myself and it is hard. I have messed up SO SO SO much in my life. I have made SO many wrong choices. I can't even eat right, the most basic thing we should be able to do and I cannot do it.

I am scared of putting all my faults out in front of my therapist. Scared of his rejection and repulsion. I repulse myself. This sucks. Anyone else worry about this?
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  #2  
Old Jun 25, 2013, 04:35 PM
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wotchermuggle wotchermuggle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseleigh7 View Post

I am scared of putting all my faults out in front of my therapist. Scared of his rejection and repulsion. I repulse myself. This sucks. Anyone else worry about this?
Yep. You know, you don't have to do it all at once. Share something smaller and test out how your therapist handles it. When you build trust it will get easier.
  #3  
Old Jun 25, 2013, 04:45 PM
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gayleggg gayleggg is offline
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Yep, can relate. My life is one long list of screw ups, leaving me now to worry how I'm ever going to make mentally and financially as I grow older. I agree with Wotchermuggle, take it one step at a time. As trust grows it will be easier to share your faults without fear of rejection. Best wishes.
  #4  
Old Jun 25, 2013, 04:58 PM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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I'm working on feeding myself right. But I started with pooping right. Yes it sounds ridiculous and it took me a couple of years to get it right! It was my mother's only job way back when and she messed it up. Then she messed up the feeding part. But this is why it's our only job as little little kids. It's important to get right.
  #5  
Old Jun 25, 2013, 05:44 PM
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photostotake photostotake is offline
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I completely understand. I'm learning how to eat again due to my eating disorder. Feels foolish to even type that out. It's a basic human need and I messed that up. So yes, I totally understand.
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  #6  
Old Jun 25, 2013, 11:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseleigh7 View Post
I am adamantly against blaming anyone for my problems so I have to face myself and it is hard. I have messed up SO SO SO much in my life. I have made SO many wrong choices. I can't even eat right, the most basic thing we should be able to do and I cannot do it.

I am scared of putting all my faults out in front of my therapist. Scared of his rejection and repulsion. I repulse myself. This sucks. Anyone else worry about this?
I think there is being careful not to blame others for our problems, and then there is beating up on ourselves for perceived mistakes. I know I've been guilty of the latter.

I think there's some value to be had in understanding potential external influences on thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, especially those originating in childhood. There's a difference between blaming others and understanding how having grown up in a particular type of environment (for example) might lead to certain ways of being in adulthood.
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  #7  
Old Jun 25, 2013, 11:47 PM
Anonymous37903
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When we finally come face to face with ourselves, it's never how we thought it would be.
  #8  
Old Jun 26, 2013, 07:22 AM
Anonymous37904
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I totally relate to what you are saying. It's hard. Take care.
  #9  
Old Jun 26, 2013, 08:40 AM
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Location: England
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We tend to see ourselves in negative terms and overlook the positives. I imagine your T will be much gentler on you.

Hindsight is a fine thing, but you make the best choices you are capable of at the time, you know?

I can't eat right either. But I don't think it makes me, or you, a bad person.
  #10  
Old Jun 26, 2013, 10:49 AM
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It is not about blaming others or ourselves for our difficulties. We learned things a certain way, did things (like how we eat) for a certain reason and relearning better ways when we are older and the problem no longer exists (other people trying to control us; giving us too narrow a window to be ourselves) is extremely hard.

I love the thought: "Fix the problem, not the blame". We have to constantly make choices, that's what life is about, and when we are young and relatively ignorant of experience, the choices aren't going to be well informed. They aren't "wrong" or "bad" and you cannot learn except from mistakes, so don't bother with deciding you are "no good" or bad and blame-worthy, disgusting, etc. all those negative self evaluations; everyone is in the same boat (with being young and making choices that don't work well for them later).
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  #11  
Old Jun 26, 2013, 03:27 PM
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We've all messed up. Sometimes other people's influence causes it, sometimes we just do it ourselves. I don't think it's anyone's job to make it better though.
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