[QuietCat]

T doesn't like me to describe myself as strange or abnormal. But I AM strange and abnormal. How come he doesn't get it? He's a T!!!

I know T's are trained to not be judgmental like that, but sometimes it really frustrates me that I can't convey to him that I just KNOW I'm strange and weird. And even if I could make him finally understand, what's the point? Then what?

Maybe he doesn't see you that way.. or maybe he doesn't like the negative connotations. Maybe you can find happy compromise in words like 'quirky' and 'different'?



My T doesn't seem to mind telling me how different or unusual I am..

[stopdog]

The one I see has said I am eccentric, quirky, a challenge, and non-conformist. I think they just like to show they know how to use a thesaurus.

My t always has a physical reaction when I say I am stupid or weird because she doesn't think that at all, no matter how many times she tells me that i still think it.
I don't know I think ts try to make us all normal after a while.

[scorpiosis37]

Perhaps your T doesn't like the word 'abnormal' because there is no such thing as normal. Have you heard of Michael Warner's book 'The Trouble With Normal?' I highly recommend it (it's not a therapy book, though). I think the problem with words like 'abnormal' is that they reinforce and notmalize arbitrary, cultural standards that are often damaging to those who fall outside of them. Normal does not just mean 'average' or 'common'; it's a prescriptive term that dictates how we SHOULD conform to cultural standards lest we be deemed pathological or socially unacceptable. That is why I view 'abnormal' and 'unique' as qualitatively different terms. For instance, one might view me as pretty 'normal' in that I am not mentally ill, don't exhibit any destructive behaviors, and can fit in pretty well in any social situation. BUT, get me talking, and you will soon discover I'm pretty unique! My T likes to tell me that I'm "one of a kind" due to my unusual upbringing, crazy young adult adventures, being a lesbian and fitting none of the stereotypes, and having a knack for adding sarcasm and rhetoric into everything I tell her (ie recounting my life as a novel/story).

[Perna]

Originally Posted by QuietCat

I can't convey to him that I just KNOW I'm strange and weird.

To yourself you may be but you cannot tell other people how they must perceive you; their perception of you is their own. How we use our words can be very powerful and forms habits. If you think of yourself as strange and weird, then you get in the habit of thinking of yourself that way and you cannot as easily break a habit, the more you engage in it.

My middle name use to be Danaher, a family name, and I use to call myself Damnither and decided that was not a good idea but had a heck of a time reprogramming my thinking so I would stop that.

Think and describe yourself how you would like to become; it's much more interesting and helpful?

[CantExplain]

Normal just means mundane and ordinary.

[Victoria'smom]

Whenever I use an adjective that T doesn't care for I'm asked why I choose that particular adjective and then we discuss that.

[Miswimmy1]

My t uses words like "special" and "unique" and phrases like "u are u". Your t probably doesn't like the negative implications...