[SkinnySoul]

I just hate everything about it right now!

Started weekly sessions 4 years ago, when my concern was anorexia. Just anorexia.

Now I am stuck with severe bulimia(daily b/p, sometimes more than once a day, and starvation the rest of the time) AND erotic transference AND caffeine addiction AND nicotine addiction AND gum addiction AND depression! Well, thanks!

Plus, my T makes me talk about my feelings for him each and every f***ing session and he KNOWS I hate that. I shouldn't have told him about transference at all. I don't feel better when we analyse those feelings, I just feel f***ing rejected and unattractive.

I don't wanna go back there, I'm a mess.

[tinyrabbit]

How does he make you talk about them?

[anilam]

Really? Every session? How is THAT helpful? Have you asked him? Sounds weird to me...
On the other hand, Ana turning to Mia is pretty common- your body fights back to survive. Same goes for the substance addiction- all mimicking eating (i.e. energy supply) and depression (comes with malnutrition) :/
BTW, hate to break it to you but anorexia is NEVER just anorexia- after all it is just a symptom

[Moodswing]

Oh good Lord FEELINGS!!!!!! Those need to go away!

[ultramar]

I know it may be difficult, but I would tell him that you're not comfortable talking about the transference, or at least not so often. He may not know you don't feel comfortable with this if you haven't told him (or maybe you have).

I would also share with him that you feel you are less stable now than you were when you started therapy. Maybe he and you can take a different tack in therapy that would help you more.

[mandazzle]

Originally Posted by anilam

BTW, hate to break it to you but anorexia is NEVER just anorexia- after all it is just a symptom

This. Eating disorders are about pain.

[SkinnySoul]

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

How does he make you talk about them?

He asks me about the intensity of the feelings and then wants me to describe in detail what I feel about him, fantasies etc...

Originally Posted by anilam

Really? Every session? How is THAT helpful? Have you asked him? Sounds weird to me...
On the other hand, Ana turning to Mia is pretty common- your body fights back to survive. Same goes for the substance addiction- all mimicking eating (i.e. energy supply) and depression (comes with malnutrition) :/
BTW, hate to break it to you but anorexia is NEVER just anorexia- after all it is just a symptom

I know. My ed is masking severe depression according to T. That's why recovery is so hard for me.

Originally Posted by Moodswing

Oh good Lord FEELINGS!!!!!! Those need to go away!

That was EXACTLY what I told myself when I realised I had fallen for him.

Originally Posted by ultramar

I know it may be difficult, but I would tell him that you're not comfortable talking about the transference, or at least not so often. He may not know you don't feel comfortable with this if you haven't told him (or maybe you have).

I would also share with him that you feel you are less stable now than you were when you started therapy. Maybe he and you can take a different tack in therapy that would help you more.

I've told him both of these things but he says that we NEED to adress the transference issue. Idk, I'm really confused.

Thanks for the replies guys. And for the hugs, they were much needed.

[Raging Quiet]

Anorexia recovery is so hard. I've been seeing my T for 5 years approx to and am thinking I need to see a new T that understands anorexia and infertility. Is your T specialised in ED's?

[nicoleflynn]

Therapy is about YOU and what YOU want to talk about. Period. Him wanting you to talk about him...transference/wrong. Obviously, he must have some ego thing going on.

[nicoleflynn]

I would tell him that you have already addressed the transference, and won't discuss it again. An ethical well-trained therapist NEVER pushes you to talk about what you don't want to.

[SkinnySoul]

Originally Posted by Rect0pathic

Anorexia recovery is so hard. I've been seeing my T for 5 years approx to and am thinking I need to see a new T that understands anorexia and infertility. Is your T specialised in ED's?

I know, it sucks big time.
I just had lunch with my brother and ate half a plate of paella(rice dish with seafood) and when I got home I just purge it, I couldn't stand the thought of it being digested.

No, my T is not specialised in EDs but he was the only one I got along with. He is a great T, but now idk, maybe there's a bit of a countertransference issue going on?
The last two sessions he tends to forget (important) things I've told him and is quite keen on staring at me, eyes, lips, hips, everything. He was very clear about boundaries verbally, but his body language is confusing me.

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

Therapy is about YOU and what YOU want to talk about. Period. Him wanting you to talk about him...transference/wrong. Obviously, he must have some ego thing going on.

I would tell him that you have already addressed the transference, and won't discuss it again. An ethical well-trained therapist NEVER pushes you to talk about what you don't want to.

Thanks so much about this! I needed a reminder that I'm the one whose needs should be covered in therapy.