Getting in...

What factors do you take into account when choosing a therapist? What is most important to you? What are red flags that a therapist isn't for you? Is there a big difference between a pastoral T and a non pastoral T?

Just got my insurance card in the mail, think I have it narrowed down to 3. Any extra advice? Also is it silly to nix the ones that have the least amount of information about them on internet (like not having a website)?....and should I give one a chance that's only been in practice for 4 years?

Im a very versatile type person that can work with many types of treatment providers. my most important thing is location. I like knowing my treatment providers are with in an hours drive. this way when I am in crisis its not a situation where I have to travel for hours just to get help.working at the crisis center sometimes I end up being called in to work when I have my days off (like what happened today) with having a treatment provider in close proximity its easy for my therapist and I to meet in other locations than her office should my schedule end up changing at the last minute.

a red flag for me is having a treatment provider reach out to touch me (out of caring or not) with out asking first. I have had a few that were just letting me know they care about what I was saying and reach out to pat my hand or hold my hand what ever and I instantly told them no. ask first, no problem I welcome touch but with out asking huge red flag.

I could not work with a t the advertised as a Christian be a point or something like that. I would have to make sure that the particular person that I choose is able to cope with the things that come out of my mouth . there hospital affiliation and that position in the hospital is very important to me. and of course how well we click. I prefer male therapist also.

I look for women, older than I am, who express no religious leanings in their practice.

The best t I ever had has no website... So I wouldn't be too quick to judge.

I think there are pros and cons to a t who has been practicing for only 4 years. Pro- she/he is just out of school and is all up to date with the most recent research and techniques. I worry tho that maybe they won't have enough experience with personal interaction. They may have the knowledge but lack in the face to face ease that some therapists have.

As for myself, I look for someone who has a sense of humor, is intuitive, can empathize and knows when to talk and when not to.

The best thing to do is call all three therapists and talk to them on the phone. See how the conversation goes, do you feel a positive feeling that you can work with them about your issues? Are they willing to work with you or do they see you as just another client?

Then meet them, meet all three of them one at a time, so you can compare them to each other and get to know differences and similarities between them. This way, you can pick the one you feel you can work with the best.

I got lucky and the first T I called is the one I'm with now. However, my former marriage counselor, who was okay for marriage counseling, I could never work with him one on one (he also does individual therapy).

I prefer T's who have websites with detailed information about them (educational background, their psychological philosophies (Jung, Freud, etc), and their areas of treatment. However, some of the best T's may not have websites due to being less than savy with computers or seeing the importance of a website. I would not dismiss a T who has been practicing for 4 years. Again, interview them and see. They could turn out to be someone you like working with, and quite knowledgable.

I also would suggest not dismissing a T just by the initial phone call or the first visit. When I first called my T, he expressed uncertainty about whether he can help me, based on what I told him my problem was (motorcycle accident). He said "I don't know if I can help you, but come in and let's talk and take it from there". I remember hanging up the phone after making an appointment thinking it would be a waste of my time. That was six months ago and we are working well together.

Most of all, follow your instinct and go with what feels right. If none of these three work out, you will find others to "interview". Working with a Therapist is a significant commitment, you want one that you can feel comfortable working with early on.

I just want to caution you on seeing a T with less than 5 years experience. I saw someone who I thought was great, even though it ended badly, but after working through that relationship with a new T, I saw how ill equipped that therapist was in being able to help me. I never really thought that his lack of experience was a problem until I got out of the relationship. Then I saw how it had actually set me back instead of putting me ahead.

I agree with the above points as well.

One other thing is that I'd suggest you research different approaches and try to see which one you think would work best for you. Do you want strategies to deal with life or do you want to talk-out your experiences with someone to gain understanding so that you can make better decisions in the future? There are a wide range of approaches.

Do you have any dealbreakers? For example, I get very anxious about phone calls and I needed someone who would be happy to arrange things by email or text. I can't drive, so I needed someone whose consulting room was easily reachable by public transport. Beyond that, I kind of followed a gut feeling.

I don't know what a pastoral T is. I personally was put off by Ts who didn't have websites, but I saw that as a personal thing that annoyed me rather than it being an objective fact that this was a bad sign.

I see a Christian counselor. If you are Christian and it is a big part of your life, then I highly recommend a Christian counselor. I would not use the term "pastoral," though. Many people use that term for lay counselors in the church or just pastors but not for licensed counselors that are Christian counselors. For me it was important that I see a counselor who had the same world view and morals as I did. If this is what you want, then a Christian counselor may be best.

If not and either way, for me, I have realized that my counselor must be someone relatable, that I have a connection with, and that has some things in common with me. For instance, my counselor is 10 years older, a Christian counselor, went to the same undergrad that I did, and has a similar personality. This has translated into an excellent and close therapeutic relationship, which most argue is the most or one of the most important factors in effective therapy.

Anyway, if you've narrowed it down to three, then you could call each of them and chat with them to see what you think about each of them. I would consider someone in practice for four years. In my state, for instance, someone like that would have counseled for 1.5 years in school, then 2+ years after school before being licensed, then in practice for 4 years =7.5-ish years of counseling total. Anyway, I would not write someone off because of that. For instance, my first counselor had 30 years of experience and a Ph.D. We were not a good match, and she was not helpful. My current counselor has been licensed for 12 years and has a Masters, but she has helped me immensely. We are an excellent match.

Good luck! I hope that therapy is helpful to you, and you find a T that is good for you.

I felt it was important for the T to have a website or profile online...was just something I wanted as it was super scary to think about going to see someone who was just a name - with no idea anything about them or what they looked like....This was just a personal issue as I was EXTREMELY anxious. I also needed to be able to email them first.

I wanted to find a T who was more humanistic/person-centered with understanding of trauma rather than CBT....I also knew I preferred a male T and one that wasn't too much older than I am...

I needed someone who was really kind, gentle etc but who could also challenge me /: I know that's prob asking a lot, but the T I found seems to be a good fit in this way. He was really accommodating and helpful from the very first email I received back from him. He's always willing to help me when I feel un-helpable. But he doesn't let me get away with much - he's always calling me on my crap lol

I would just email around or call, if you feel comfortable doing so, and ask some basic questions. Even just if they take your insurance. I could get a feel from the way the Ts responded as to whether or not I wanted to pursue it further. It really helped that my T offers a free consultation session to see if we wanted to work together

Thank you everyone for your responses....

Haven't made a call yet, think I'm nervous about it ......lol

Just called one...got one of those automated things where I had to press 6 for a new appointment and leave a message to have them call me back for an appointment