Should I ask my T to call me?

I'm having a big foot surgery this week. It's been brought forward so it's been tough getting used to the idea, plus I have a few difficult things going on right now and have been quite emotional. It makes sense to do the surgery now as my DH is not working so will be home to take care of me. I will be in a wheelchair for 2 weeks and a cast for six.

Anyway, at my last session I told my T and cried so much I scared myself, and she was very supportive. (I was worried she wouldnt be as she already told me she had 'strong reservations' about my doing something else as she thinks i am not very strong just now.) I am seeing her again tomorrow. I am a bit calmer now but know that i am going to struggle not seeing my T while I am recovering from surgery. (I have a couple of telephone appts set up then she goes on holiday, so I won't actually see her again until mid-August.)

I kind of want to bring this up with her but don't know if I can. I've been through several surgeries with her and she's always been there for me, in a strictly within boundaries kind of way. I really want her to be thinking of me, and maybe to call me the day after to see how it went. But I am scared to ask her in case she says no, because then I will feel even worse.

I am worried anyway that I will sink into depression after surgery as it has happened before, though I intend to really try to stay positive. The other thing that is tough about this surgery is that my old foot doctor (who I had a close relationship with as I had been her patient for a long time) is very ill with cancer. She did my last two surgeries and I can't stop thinking about her, it is all muddled together. I just have a lot of hard things going on at the moment and am generally quite emotional. I feel I could use some extra support from my T, but I want her to see that and offer it...

Sorry about writing so much, it is all linked up in my head and I can't separate it!

You have to ask for what you need. Advocate for yourself. Don't expect your T to mind read.

Hi, I'm not sure if you will be in hospital the following day or not ... or what your phones are like in hospitals over there; but after my surgery I phoned my T (we'd agreed on that before hand) and that way he didn't interupt doctors or nurses or anything else going on in the hospital by phoning me; although of course if you are home then that wouldn't be an issue Either way ... you can ask if either your T can phone; or why not ask if you could phone your T if you have other pre-arranged calls? that way you can check in with your T and let her know how everything went ... I know the phonecall I made to mine following surgery helped me

I hope everything goes well with the surgery itself

I would think if you want the therapist to call, then asking would be the way to go.

Thanks everyone. Of course you are all right I asked about contact and she said yes! I feel like I blew it all out of proportion now. But I feel better!

Tiger girl:
Thanks, I will be in hospital. That is a good point about it being better for me to call her. In fact after my last surgery she offered to make a full telephone appt at a fixed time but I said no because I didn't know what would be going on. Anywaŷ, I have arranged that either I will call her or I will text and she will call back, on Friday. Double-nice of her as she is not working that day. I'm glad speaking to your T made a difference to you; it feels like such a big thing to me and I feel sure it will help me too to have a little contact with her and to know that she knows what is going on.

Surgery is on Thursday afternoon CEST, if anyone wants to come along for the ride