[Miswimmy1]

How many therapists have u had before finding the one that u felt u really connected with?

[growlycat]

#1 was horribly inexperienced
#2 was in an inpatient setting, and hated my guts
#3 seemed gentle, but his tolerance for my neediness wasn't there. Sucked to learn that after seeing him for 1.5 years. This one broke my heart

#4 is my T I've been with forever. So glad I didn't give up looking for a good fit

[xiuxiu]

I think I went through seven! It was over the span of nearly ten years. I had a handful of clinicians really hoping for me to find the right one. Most of them just didn't quite jive with my personality and sense of humor, so it was difficult to communicate with them. I didn't feel that they "got" me. I remember one was just plain insulting and harsh, and another seemed so removed she may as well have been sitting on the other side of the planet.

I clicked with my current one immediately. At the end of the first session she said something like, I think this is a good match, and I was thinking the same thing.

[scorpiosis37]

#1- was inappropriate; forced touch on me while I cried (age 4)
#2- believed my abusive nanny over me (age 9)
#3- tried to tell me that my sexual assault/attempted kidnapping was no big deal because I ultimately got away (age 16)
#4- believed my parents over me when I reported the abuse in the home (age 17)
#5- tried to convince me I was not a lesbian (age 17)
#6- supportive, liked her, but she changed jobs after 3 months (age 25)
#7- best T ever! (current)

[feralkittymom]

First one was it.

I checked the basics, and met my requirements (credentials, experience, etc), but the first visit sealed it for me. I can't say I had a bunch of test questions, and I might use a different process were I looking now. I would certainly have more developed expectations. But for me, it was gut instinct of compatability, coupled with felt empathy from him. I just felt safe.

[WikidPissah]

I don't believe in "the right one". Just me though, I gave up.

I have been really fortunate finding good T's over the years. My first was a university counselor who came recommended to me by the campus Methodist youth minister. I worked with him until graduation. The 2nd was actually one of my ministers of my church who was a licensed therapist. I worked with him for 2 or 3 years. My current T just was on my insurance list and he has also been excellent.

In between I did do a bit of hunting and tried maybe 3 other therapists. I took an immediate dislike to them and only saw them a few times each. All were women with too many of their own issues for my tastes.

I've always been able to tell very quickly if a therapist is going to work for me or not. I'm not one to hang around and waste time, money, and energy on a T that isn't right for me.

[Syra]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

First one was it.

I checked the basics, and met my requirements (credentials, experience, etc), but the first visit sealed it for me. I can't say I had a bunch of test questions, and I might use a different process were I looking now. I would certainly have more developed expectations. But for me, it was gut instinct of compatability, coupled with felt empathy from him. I just felt safe.

I suspect also a little luck in having a good match so quickly. I'm glad for you.

[Wren_]

I've had a few different ones now; and some have been right in some ways and not so right in others ... I really believe I'm with the right one now; and also very thankful for my recently ex-T as well

[Asiablue]

If i could roll the 4 i've seen into 1 i'd have the perfect therapist.

[feralkittymom]

Originally Posted by Syra

I suspect also a little luck in having a good match so quickly. I'm glad for you.

I would never discount luck, but neither am I a big believer in it. My initial screening before I met him was thorough, so I had good reasons to expect competence. And I was open to the idea of trusting; I wasn't looking for traps around every corner.

Luck may be a factor in finding a T (the fact that my University had such an outstanding counseling center, for instance), but I think it plays very little part in sustaining a relationship long term.

[nessaea]

I've had many Ts, and more than one who were "right" at the time.

Ts that I have seen and stayed with: 3
The first one was great, but I only saw her for a couple months. I had to stop seeing her when I graduated high school. The second was awesome and so kind and caring (very mother-like) but I could only see for one year while I lived in college dorms. When I moved out to my own place, she referred me to my last T, who has seriously saved my life many times. She's absolutely incredible. However, I can only see her while I'm at college, so we have our last session in two weeks.

Ts that I saw for more than 5 sessions but weren't the right one: 4
One decided I was cured after 6 sessions, two were just really bad, and one who was really good, but just not what I needed at the time.

Ts that I saw for less than 5 sessions: 6
Most of them were for reasons outside of my control, since I usually use 5 sessions as my judgement mark. Two of them left their jobs for something else, two stopped calling me back, one decided she just didn't have the room for new patients, and one I just knew wouldn't work.

[tinyrabbit]

My T is the first I've chosen myself and he's great, so in a way the answer is zero. But I did have bad experiences in the past.

As a teenager I was sent to this psychologist who just made me do relaxation tapes. This was completely stupid given I was living in an abusive home, was SIing and had just tried to SU. Breathing exercises would just totally solve all my problems.

At uni my friend persuaded me to see a counsellor at the student counselling centre. She was awful, she harangued me to talk straight away and then said she couldn't help me if I didn't talk. I said I didn't want another appointment but she sent my GP a letter claiming I agreed to another one and then didn't turn up. My T says she was probably trying to cover her back because she was such a rubbish counsellor...

When I actually chose someone myself, I got it right first time.

[stopdog]

I have had at least one appointment with over 20 different ones of them in the past three years. Probably more.

[harvest moon]

This is my first therapist and hopefully my last..

Three and I am not sure I have found the right one yet

[refika]

Well, I've been saying the first therapist I called and met is the one I'm with now, and I like very much. But, that's only if you don't count the 3 other therapists I saw about 20 years ago who were absolutely HORRIBLE and left me with such a bad experience it took 20 years before I would even consider going to therapy again. Even now, I tell T that I'm still wary of him but it's only because of my experience and not him.

[wotchermuggle]

#1 - Really liked, but he was ill equipped to help me. I didn't realize this until after he left and a lot of the relationship was damaging because it repeated things I was struggling with.

#2 - Liked but I was definitely too much for her to handle. It only lasted a few months.

#3 and #4 - Interviewed two different T's at the same time. I decided on #4 based on my comfort level and his approach.

[EllieBear]

There's not a high enough option for me. I've had really bad luck with therapists. I've been through 11 of them to get to the one I have now. My first T messed me up so badly that I ended up having to find another T to undo the damage. My second T was good, but quit just when we were starting to really get into past trauma because she was expecting a baby. She referred me to a third T who I saw for a year until SHE left to have a baby. I then bounced around to 7 different therapists who either consistently didn't show up for appointments, told me my past abuse was my fault because I "drew" the negative experiences to myself, or told me I was "fine" or they couldn't help me. I'd had it by the 10th one...that was it...I was done trying to find someone who could help. Someone encouraged me to try this one more T. I did only because her work intrigued me and I instantly felt safe with her and that had never happened before. I'm so glad I did. She has helped me in ways I never thought possible. I am actually getting somewhere in therapy and my life is so much better. I'm glad I didn't give up the search!

[learning1]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

I don't believe in "the right one". Just me though, I gave up.

me too.

abcd

[BlessedRhiannon]

T #4 is the perfect one for me!

T#1 - recommended by insurance...really bad fit for me, too much like my mother. Did not have the skills to help me, and right after I decided to reveal some really big stuff to her, she informed me she was closing her practice.
T#2 - recommended by T#1 when she decided to close her practice. Again, reminded me of my mother and I never trusted her after my experience with T#1. I didn't feel like she had the skills to help me either
T#3 - I saw her one time. She was a complete fruitcake. Never went back
T#4 - excellent fit, best T ever!!!!

[Poppy Princess]

1 - misunderstood me

2 - perfect!

3 - an idiot.

[Victoria'smom]

#1- told me I'd be found dead in a ditch
#2- Awesome but I was phased out because I started to succeed in school
#3- I could never get a hold of
#4- through me off by mentioning my ED with out preparing me. So I left and never came back.
#5- I never gave a chance because it was a school T
#6- The only one I've been completely honest with I wouldn't say we completely "click" but I don't think that matters as much.

I think I'm doing therapy wrong anyway.

[BonnieJean]

Only one. Not sure what's going there on now.

[HealingTimes]

She is my 3rd T.
I think that the type of therapy played a big part of the reason why i am working so well with her, as opposed to the previous 2.
The 2 ex-T's were CBT, and my current one is Integrative/IPT, and that has helped me more than anything.