Do you think therapy really helps?
Or is it just having someone to listen to you that seems to help ..... and when that ends, your problems are still the same or replaced by other problems?

im not 100% sure therapy really helps.
or maybe it can only help certain people or problems.

How long have you been in therapy? Sometimes it takes a long time to see change, but what helps is when i mention to my T that I'm not sure it helps he'll go back ver the last 3 years and say this what you were like x years/months ago do you still feel the same way do you think you have changed? Usually the answer is Yes, I have changed sometimes it's a big change and other times the change is small, but I see it all a moving forward. I realised the other day that I thought i was just changing the last 10 or so years of my life but really I have 46 years of my life to change. it doesn't come over night but you will get light-bulb moments when you feel its definitely worhtwhile.

I guess it all depends on your childhood experiences and those of growing up, some of us have experiences that no child or adult should ever have. Not belittling others experiences btw.

Therapy has been a tremendous help in my life, not just for someone to talk to (if that's all I needed I'd find someone I don't have to pay), but I have learned important skills, I've worked through my trauma background so that it no longer runs the show, etc., etc. My ability to cope with stressors and whatever comes in life day by day is greatly improved.

[BonnieJean]

I'm in a real different place than I was 2.5 years ago when I started therapy. I went to her for current relationship problems and that's been a continuing theme in our work. But so much other work has been done that I hadn't realized I needed to do. I had to meet, accept the little girl that lived through my childhood and to see how it effects my approach to things today. And to learn to tweak those approaches for the better. I'm healing and I'm making positive changes from therapy. So my answer would be that, at this point in my life, in my particular circumstances, it has definitely helped.

[feralkittymom]

I think there's great benefit to being heard and empathically validated.

But that's only a fraction of what therapy is. It opens the door and makes possible the work of therapy. It's the beginning and means to healing, not the end.

[1stepatatime]

I am in the early stages of therapy. It helps me to feel safe. I am learning (slowly,ever so slowly) that I can trust my T. I am learning that the issues that present themselves today are due largely to my childhood experiences. I am learning that it is okay to feel what I feel and to not intellectualize so much...that, by the way was a big ah ha moment! So yeah...in my opinion therapy is helpful..it is a process and it takes timmmmmme!!! My T tells me that I am sometimes inpatient with the process

[content30]

The short answer to your question is an emphatic YES. I am an outgoing person with friends and supportive family. I had people to listen, but that wasn't enough. My T helped to save my life. For me, I had to find the right T. She and I have great chemistry/really click; she's intuitive, intelligent, empathic, and appropriately challenges me. Also, I do not hold back from her. I have told her everything and left no stones unturned. I am honest in everything I tell her. Finally, and most importantly, I do my homework. I make/have made big changes in my life as a result of my discussions and her suggestions. I read the books she suggests and do my assignments. In the end, I realized that an excellent therapist is the best catalyst, but a T can only help you as much as you let her and as much as you help yourself.

Because of therapy and my T, I am a completely different and better person than I have ever been. I went from attempts and suicidal to being full of joy in a year because of my T. I've now been seeing her for over 1.5 years, and it is beyond worth every dime and minute...! I've worked through and discussed my past issues and work through/am working through my present issues and things that I want to work on still.

[pbutton]

Yep. Lately I have been able to tell by the changes in my dreams. It has been a lot of work though.

[Victoria'smom]

If not for therapy:
I'd yo-yo on and off medications and deal the chaos that follows.
I wouldn't have someone that I can't terrify with my thoughts.
I wouldn't have a third party to tell me when my husband, or I am heading for danger
Or someone that can tell when I'm drowning even when I'm faking

[stopdog]

Well, I am not so sure. I have found ways to make it useful, but it has not helped for why I started seeing the woman in the first place (which did not involve other people or my personal relationships).

[Yoda]

I was doing intense therapy in 2000 and my progress was slow but I no longer need the level of therapy I did when I was at my worst. So, yes, for me therapy helped a lot.

[scorpiosis37]

YES, I think therapy really helps. It does, however, take a genuine readiness and willingness to do the work required both during sessions and in the time between sessions. At least for me, most of the work has been done in my RL, after I leave her office each week. I began therapy 3 years ago, when I ended my 6 year relationship with my partner. I had just moved to a new state, began a new job, and was (unexpectedly) leaving the only person I knew in my new city. I knew that I needed support in order to stay firm and end an unhealthy relationship and begin a new life. I also knew that the reason I'd held onto a relationship that wasn't working was because of my abandonment issues from not having a mom and abuse/neglect history growing up. So, during my time in therapy, I processed all of those experiences with T, and I've healed so many of those old wounds. I don't think they can ever disappear completely, though. I think they're like physical scars in that they will always be a part of you but it is possible for them to stop hurting. So, through therapy I have largely healed the "maternal void" that I had been carrying since childhood. It doesn't hurt anymore. Very recently, I processed all of the unhealthy ways I used to try to "fill" that void as a teenager and college student. I used to attach to older women in a way that somewhere in between maternal and sexual; I would attach to them emotionally because I wanted unconditional love and nurturing, but the only way I knew how to get that was through being seductive/sexual. I am a lesbian, but these were not healthy or equal relationships; these women were twice my age, in positions of authority over me, and not treating me with love or respect. I stopped these kinds of relationships at least 5 years ago, but I still hadn't fully processed or recovered from them-- that's what I needed my T for. Part of the healing process was also having a secure attachment to my T-- who is an older woman-- and developing a healthy relationship with her that is a stark contrast to the kinds of unhealthy relationships I used to have with older women. Figuring out what was unhealthy in my early relationships has also been incredibly helpful in maintaining healthy relationships (platonic and romantic) now. When I see myself entering into an unhealthy relationship, I know how to stop it before I get out of the gate. Recently, I did a lot of "housekeeping" so to speak on my current friendships. I've become ten times closer to my best friend and my other close friends by being so open and honest and connected with them, while I've ended or distanced myself from those couple of friends who were overly needy or unable to be a good friend to me. It's made me feel much more secure, independent, and alive. Therapy has been incredibly helpful for me in becoming stronger and more willing to express myself, without triggering those old fears of abandonment. I'm still "me" (and I always liked "me") but I've changed a lot over the past 3 years, and I'm grateful for that change. I think it's due both to my T and to my own hard work.

I think the thing with therapy is that YOU have to want to change, all the therapy in the world is not going to help if you are not ready to make that leap. When I was younger I went therapy and thought that it didn't really help, but I think, back then, my thinking was the issues were with other people and not me. Just my 2 cents worth.

For me it has been a combination of am I seeing the right therapist (do we have a connection?) and are they doing the right kind of therapy with me? I have now had very successful therapy with two Ts who have done psychodynamic therapy on me, both of whom I also have had a connection with (one I am still seeing now). The ex-T tried CBT on me first, noted I was nonresponsive (as I always and forever will be) and switched methods. We already were connecting, so it was a good move on his part, and he was my first psychodynamic T...then I learned what really worked for me.
Before him I had a T who tried CBT on me and when it failed did nothing but sat there and listened to me talk for the rest of the 5 years... I really didn't know enough about what therapy should BE like at that point, so I let this go on that long, which was ridiculous.
But before then I had only seen my childhood T and was so connected to her, I still don't even know what kind of therapy we did...sigh.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Stringcheese

Do you think therapy really helps?
Or is it just having someone to listen to you that seems to help ..... and when that ends, your problems are still the same or replaced by other problems?

im not 100% sure therapy really helps.
or maybe it can only help certain people or problems.

I think listening is a big part of it, but I think the therapy helped too.

[Moodswing]

I am in a bad place right now to answer this. Therapy seems to be making things worse at this moment.

[Bill3]

Therapy (which is much more than simply having someone to listen) can help resolve problems.

Whether it does help depends significantly on the relationship between therapist and client; on the skill and commitment of the therapist; and on the willingness of the client to:

-believe that therapy can succeed,
-to take the risk of speaking freely and honestly,
-to take the risk of facing painful emotions with the therapist,
-to work outside of session when requested to do so by the therapist,
-to take the risk of changing
-to stay the course for the time that therapy inevitably takes.

[Rose76]

Here's a question I started to ask myself after spending a lot of time and money on therapy. Is the therapy helping me more than other things that I could spend the money on? At times in my life, it seemed that the therapy was helping. Then, after it seemed that I was just hearing the same things over and over, I got to thinking that there were other things that I'ld rather use the time and money for.

So I'ld encourage anyone to add that question in.

[Perna]

Therapy got me out of my head where there was just argument and anxiety going on. It provided another focus so I could hear myself talk, get light and air into the batter, make a meringue instead of a failed souffle.

[tinyrabbit]

I think therapy can help, but not if you just turn up and expect it to help without putting any work in. I know it's helped me to have someone who's there for me, who listens and cares.

Also, I used to get ill all the time and I haven't been ill once, not so much as a cold, since I started therapy. Funny, that.

[stopdog]

Sometimes just showing up is work.

Ha...Stopdog is right about just showing up. For the first year of my therapy, I felt the need/desire to quit almost constantly. We talked about it ALL.THE.TIME. I still feel it but now I can slow myself down enough to figure out where it's coming from and at least bargain with myself enough to make it to the next session.

Yes, therapy works, but it takes time, effort, and a lot of luck in terms of finding the right match. I've been in therapy off and on for about 15 years...oh my. Mostly off. Mostly with people who were nice but not "right." I randomly stumbled on my current therapist and she has shown me how much difference a "good match" can make! I guess I inherantly believe in therapy somewhere deep within, because I kept trying and trying despite not really understanding what would help or why the current situation wasn't working.

I can honestly say I am a much different person than I was a year ago. I have a totally different understanding of some things that occurred in my past. I recognize specific reasons why I don't have any close friends. Heck, even recognizing that I don't have any close friends is a new thing for me! I am starting to at least understand how past issues have held on and made their way into my current life, even if I can't fully address it or change things yet. I'm learning about my own needs and who I really am and what I deserve. The past couple of months in particular have been very eye opening. Until then, I was slogging along, usually angry at my therapist for one reason or another, not understanding the process, wanting to quit, having tons of symptoms and overwhelming emotions, and being certain I was getting worse instead of better.

So what changed?

For starters, I went on a mood stabilizer and I think that's helping quite a bit.
I also starting taking sleeping medication which (intermittently) helps because getting 1-2 hours of sleep a night CONSTANTLY pretty much makes any strong emotion even stronger and much more irrational.
And then, just basically hanging on, no matter what...showing up every week even though everything in me was screaming "RUN." Being as honest as I knew how to be (and I'm still getting better at this...) and I guess continually holding out hope, somewhere deep inside, that if I hang on tight to my therapist and this whole process, that maybe one day things will get better...?

They're getting there.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Sometimes just showing up is work.

Amen, amen, amen.

Do I think it can work absolutely yes.
has it helped me - I am still on the way but I can turn around and look back and see the distance i have come; that's worth a LOT to me.