Do I need to talk to a therapist about...? (trigger warning)

***Trigger warning: sex***


I've been in therapy for a long time. I'm finishing it now. I've skipped over the fact that I was having cybersex with much older men from age 13 for about a decade. Does it matter? I feel shame/guilt around it but think I may be growing out of those feelings. I have stopped the behaviors, but at points in the past they were taking up whole afternoons and/or evenings for multiple days in a row at time. Is this a typical experience for a teen? I'm still confused about my sexuality and worry these interactions may have shaped it. However, I feel like I'm moving in a positive direction and wonder if it's anything necessary to talk about. Does it matter if that is a secret? Is that a normal secret to have? This is the only thing left to talk about in therapy, and I don't know if I ought to bring it up or not.

If you are feeling shame/guilt/confusion, I would bring it up, particularly since you fear it may be shaping your feelings about your sexuality now.

No.

As Snakebit said, shame/guilt/confusion are often helpful to talk about. Hard to talk about, but often helpful. You could describe things to your T and then see whether you and your T think there is reason to talk further about them. Then you won't have to wonder. You'll have T's thinking, and you'll be able to reflect on that and then decide whether or not to talk further.

If you don't wanna talk about it, its probably a good indication you should.

Can't add much to everybody's feedback, except to say that, if you're thinking so much about it that you're running it past folks here, it's a good bet that it's something you need to talk about. Getting it out there, hearing yourself speak the words and having someone hear you and not judge you, can be really freeing when you're feeling shame about something. If it were me, I'd take a deep breath and let it out.

Welcome to PC. I agree with everyone else. You need to get it out.
Best wishes,
Gayle

I would decide if I wanted to talk about the feelings or actions, especially if you no longer engage in those actions and the feelings are resolving themselves as part of what else you are talking about in therapy. If things are moving in the direction you want with what you are doing in therapy and your life now, I would just chalk up what came before to defense mechanisms or symptoms, etc. and not mention them unless there was an obvious opening where it made sense in light of what I am talking about/doing now.