[HealingTimes]

Hi.
Really struggling, after having been to therapy yesterday and talking about witnessing Domestic Violence as a child (my Mum and Dad)...how can i stop the memories please?

[Sabra]

Originally Posted by HealingTimes

Hi.
Really struggling, after having been to therapy yesterday and talking about witnessing Domestic Violence as a child (my Mum and Dad)...how can i stop the memories please?

Good morning,

I'm sorry but you can't forget information that you already have. However, you can work through the feelings and take the pain out of them.

Sabra

[HealingTimes]

I don't want to!

I don't want to 'work through it', i just want to bury it back wherever it has been for the last 25 years, it's easier.

[pbutton]

When I feel like that, I try to find ways to take care of myself. I snuggle in a cozy blanket and watch a funny movie or buy myself a new book, pair of socks, something fun.

[Perna]

It's not the only memory you have nor the only time you were alive? Remember some memories not as upsetting or face forward and do something now that uses your attention. Do not necessarily fight the memory or try to think of something like or opposite it (other memories of your parents) but pick another subject like "school" and think of a school memory or "summer" and think of a summer memory. What projects interest you now or are you working on? How is your therapy going, what are your goals there, how is work or school or the weeds in your backyard that you noticed last week but haven't gotten around to pulling up

I know it might not sound great right now.... But having memories become clearer or not "buried" is a sign of healing.... That your subconscious feels safer letting these things surface... While the memories are rough... You are in a better place mentally.

Originally Posted by HealingTimes

I don't want to!

I don't want to 'work through it', i just want to bury it back wherever it has been for the last 25 years, it's easier.

I hear you, but you can't unring that bell. Find some things to use your mind on other than focusing on the memories. It will ease. Once you work through this that bell will stop ringing.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this right now. I don't think burying it will actually help you, because then it will still be in there, hurting you.

That said, sometimes I find I have to stuff things away again because I just can't cope with them yet. In those situations I tend to write them down for my T and then it's like the act of telling someone else allows me to stop thinking about it and having intrusive thoughts.

[HealingTimes]

Thank you everyone for the replies.

It just hurts so much, not only emotionally but also physically. Knotted stomach, actual pain etc. I don't really know why. My T has talked a little about SE and always asks me where it hurts etc.

I just wish I had a mute button for my mind, or an off switch, like the TV.
I have been to work this morning, and am trying to keep busy, but keep getting a flash of this particular incident in my mind, like a photo frozen in time.

I think this is the hardest thing i have had to deal with so far, and it's hurting me

[photostotake]

I wish I had some good advice for you. If I did, I'd be using it for myself at the same time. Be gentle with yourself and work through it the best you can. It does get better, but it will take time.

[feralkittymom]

It sucks but it is a step towards healing. The more you can let it out in session, the sooner it will shrink to "normal" size. Maybe you can work with T on a visualization ritual to deal with it as fully as possible in session, but then "pack it up" and leave it with her until the next session? Give yourself permission to go back to it, rather than carry it with you 24/7 right now?

[HealingTimes]

Feralkittymom- i really like that idea, and I may mention it to my T when I see her on Tuesday, thanks.

I wish i could draw, as i think it would be useful to draw this photo-like-image that i have in my head, so that i could take it out of my head.

[feralkittymom]

Can you cut up magazine images to make a collage? I would write about stuff and leave the writing with my T to keep me away from it.

[tinyrabbit]

Or can you write a description of what's in the picture?

[HealingTimes]

Thanks.
I think i am going to try a variety of things- drawing (even though i am rubbish at it), writing a description, and also collages.
Normally i don't have a problem with writing things, but its really important to me that this has picture attached to it, and feeling too.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by HealingTimes

I don't want to!

I don't want to 'work through it', i just want to bury it back wherever it has been for the last 25 years, it's easier.

I hear ya.
HT have you ever seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? (2004, dir Michel Gondry)

[HealingTimes]

No i havent, i will google it. Thanks FJ

[Miswimmy1]

I don't think you can ever forget. I think that you can learn to cope, and that of course takes time.

I have some upsetting childhood memories and I learned that trying to forget them doesn't help in anyway. Because they always come back. I think facing them, and processing them with your therapist is a good way to start dealing with them. I'm not experienced in trauma therapy by any means, but I think that it is possible to deal with these feelings, and it just takes time.