[IndestructibleGirl]

So, I'm meant to be flying out of London first thing in the morning to go home for Christmas. Part of me is really looking forward to seeing everyone - I've been looking forward to catching up with them for ages.

But the other side of me is having a MAJOR wobble about going home I feel slightly panicky at the thought of leaving my safe little nest here. I got weird and shaky just nipping out to the shop earlier to print my boarding pass, and had to keep reminding myself to calm down.

Being back home throws up so many memories. Good ones, which choke me when I think of them, because those good days seem so long ago. And bad ones, like last Christmas with someone in my family being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Hearing him calling for me, after he vomited blood at the top of the stairs, trying to reassure him and hold him up...Memories like that are slowly passing through my head all day.

I've definitely made a step forward in therapy; I've been feeling less worthless, and more in tune with my own feelings. However, being more in tune means feeling all the pain more acutely than pushing it away

Anyway, I thought I'd post and see what anyone else is feeling now as we approach Christmas? What have you observed about your mood or thoughts or anything? How do you feel your therapy has influenced things?

What a great word..wobble!

My hometown is also far away. I rarely go because Xmas is kind of a nightmare. I make the best of thanksgiving and New Years and just avoid any Xmas stressors like shopping.

[stopdog]

Good luck with the travel and the visit.

[IndestructibleGirl]

Thank you

Yeah Michanne, I'll be keeping it fairly quiet and easy-going, not going to get tizzed up over shopping etc.

The visit will go well I'm sure once I'm there, thanks Stopdog. There's a bunch of people I really want to spend time with so I'm eager for that. It's just this reluctance about going, idk.

[Arha]

Perhaps keep in mind that, no matter what has happened in the past, this time will be different.
It helps whether you are longing for the old times or dreading them.
Life is change. You have learned to cope with it, and will cope, no matter what, so enjoy the good things, and deal with the other stuff if you have to.
Have a good time.