[Cavi]

I am putting this out there for ones that want to be friends with their T. I am friends with mine and still see her once a week. Trust me it doesn't work. When that line is crossed their feelings come into the relationship.

Example. She is going through a really rough time the last 4 weeks and our sessions have been about her and what is happening in her life. This is going to sound really selfish but I miss when our talks were about my issues and I was learning about me.

Things for her are only going to get worse and I feel I have no one to talk too. I am her sounding board. Her support. Before you jump into a relationship with your T outside of client/T think about this post. Its not all roses. Cavi

[Leah123]

Originally Posted by Cavi

I am putting this out there for ones that want to be friends with their T. I am friends with mine and still see her once a week. Trust me it doesn't work. When that line is crossed their feelings come into the relationship.

Example. She is going through a really rough time the last 4 weeks and our sessions have been about her and what is happening in her life. This is going to sound really selfish but I miss when our talks were about my issues and I was learning about me.

Things for her are only going to get worse and I feel I have no one to talk too. I am her sounding board. Her support. Before you jump into a relationship with your T outside of client/T think about this post. Its not all roses. Cavi

She's violating professional ethical standards if she's allowing this and using your therapy time for her issues. I hope you find a good new therapist if that's the case, because I completely agree, it's not healthy and she's taking advantage of you.

[IndestructibleGirl]

This doesn't sound good and it doesn't sound like anything therapeutic is happening for you. If you both agree you want to be friends, then you need a new therapist to do therapy with.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Cavi

I am putting this out there for ones that want to be friends with their T. I am friends with mine and still see her once a week. Trust me it doesn't work. When that line is crossed their feelings come into the relationship.

Example. She is going through a really rough time the last 4 weeks and our sessions have been about her and what is happening in her life. This is going to sound really selfish but I miss when our talks were about my issues and I was learning about me.

Things for her are only going to get worse and I feel I have no one to talk too. I am her sounding board. Her support. Before you jump into a relationship with your T outside of client/T think about this post. Its not all roses. Cavi

She should pay you!

[critterlady]

You don't have sessions with friends.

[Favorite Jeans]

Thanks for the reminder that the reality is so much less wonderful than the fantasy. That said I'm really sorry that you're in this situation. It is really unfair/unethical/unfortunate for your T to accept your money and use the session to talk about herself. Maybe if this has truly become a friendship it's time to get a new therapist.

[RTerroni]

I agree that you can't be true friends with your Therapist, I think that you can socialize should you happen to run into each other outside of Therapy but you really can't be friends.

[feralkittymom]

She's engaging in a very inappropriate dual relationship. This isn't about friendship, but rather her violation of professional ethics. You deserve a T who respects you and the profession enough to not jeopardize your healing.

[Daeva]

its one thing to be friends with her outside therapy (Which is usually a big no no) and listening to her as a friend but in session she's suppose to be your ears. It's her job.

[anilam]

She IS using you- She isn't your T anymore and I'd go even that far to say she's not even your friend... Find a new T ASAP.

I don't want to be friends with my T, TBH, can't really imagine being friends (really equal friends not mentor/pupil, parent/child RS) with s.o. who used to be your T. However, being "friends" while still in therapy? Unethical and stg a T should lose a license for.

[Cavi]

I understand what everyone is saying and I agree. Right now until her crisis is over I will be there for her. After that she is on her own and I will find a new T. Thanks for reading Cavi

[Littlemeinside]

Are you paying her, when you have these " sessions"?

[anilam]

Originally Posted by Cavi

I understand what everyone is saying and I agree. Right now until her crisis is over I will be there for her. After that she is on her own and I will find a new T. Thanks for reading Cavi

This post is so sad...You still could be there for her (should you wish to) AND find a new T. I really believe you should stop seeing her as your T (at least). It is damaging for you even if she's offering "therapy" for free (which I highly doubt, anyway:/)

[Lauliza]

If she's your friend can't you be there for her outside of therapy? Doing this in your T session is wrong and breaches ethics. It doesn't make sense to me at all.

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[Raging Quiet]

My t does that to sometimes, it makes me feel selfish

[Cavi]

I pay her for the 'sessions'. The situation is really complicated. Cavi

[Cavi]

She sent me an email saying I need you. I feel so selfish for missing when therapy was about me. And now I don't feel like I cant walk away. But this is eating at me. Cavi

[Littlemeinside]

Originally Posted by Cavi

She sent me an email saying I need you. I feel so selfish for missing when therapy was about me. And now I don't feel like I cant walk away. But this is eating at me. Cavi

For some reason I hope you havn´t replied. Just to see her reaction?

This sounds like a very hard situation and she seems....

If something is eating you, it´s best to just walk away. If you feel selfish, thats really unhealthy ( she is your T) and shouldn´t make you feel this way. Doesn´t she have any other friends she can turn to?

Stay safe

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by Cavi

She sent me an email saying I need you. I feel so selfish for missing when therapy was about me. And now I don't feel like I cant walk away. But this is eating at me. Cavi

Oh my goodness.

If you were done therapy and having a friendship after, that's one thing, but if you're still going for sessions, you definitely can't be friends. Talk about a whopper of a double relationship.

She is so out of line with the "I need you" comment.

I really feel for you. It would be super difficult, I imagine, but can't you talk to her about how messed up this is?

If the relationship is important to you, you could see someone else for therapy and then engage in a friendship with your current T....would that be possible?

Edit: Sorry - missed your comment about finding a new T.

[Cavi]

She has a lot of friends that she could lean on. I didn't respond when she said she needed me because it took me back a few steps. I am seriously thinking about looking for another T and stay friends with this T. But than a part of me just wants out of the relationship all together.
I am so afraid I am going to fall apart if I don't get back into therapy that has boundaries. Cavi

[Yogix]

Originally Posted by Cavi

She has a lot of friends that she could lean on. I didn't respond when she said she needed me because it took me back a few steps. I am seriously thinking about looking for another T and stay friends with this T. But than a part of me just wants out of the relationship all together.
I am so afraid I am going to fall apart if I don't get back into therapy that has boundaries. Cavi

Cavi, I can't even imagine how this must be for you. It really sounds like you should get out of the relationship, at least the T part anyways, if not all of it.

This is really not healthy for you, whatsoever. And especially if it's taking you back a few steps... You can't continue to do this to yourself. I'm so, so sorry.

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