[Miswimmy1]

Yep- title says it all. I am just getting the sense that no one likes my new t. I had an appointment with my pdoc today, and she was totally unfazed by the things that I was saying about not getting along with new t. She basically said that she had shared clients with her in the past (my t doesn't prescribe meds) and that my t "does her own thing", adding sarcastically, "when you have a specific area of expertise, you don't need anyone else." I found that unsettling because one of my biggest complaints about my therapist is that she is too cocky and full of herself. This sort of confirmed by thoughts.

Going along with this, my old t didn't seem to have very good thoughts about this new t either... for those of you who followed my posts during the transition, my old t and my new t would basically trash the other during my sessions.

I was thinking about all of this, and it crossed my mind that my new t always tells me how important it is to stay up to date with all the newest research and stuff and make sure to consult with other professionals in the field, but never mentions anyone specific. And by that, I mean for instance that I asked my t for a referral. And she basically went through a list of names out loud... "Oh I could send you to X- oh wait we aren't friends anymore. Oh theres Y- oh but yeah, I don't talk to her anymore." Etc. I am now wondering if she is the reason why she doesn't stay connected to these people.

Going off of this, and my personal experience with my new t, I am getting to see the sense that she doesn't have a lot of friends in the therapy world. I was wondering if any of you had any thoughts about where I should go from here.

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

Yep- title says it all. I am just getting the sense that no one likes my new t. I had an appointment with my pdoc today, and she was totally unfazed by the things that I was saying about not getting along with new t. She basically said that she had shared clients with her in the past (my t doesn't prescribe meds) and that my t "does her own thing", adding sarcastically, "when you have a specific area of expertise, you don't need anyone else." I found that unsettling because one of my biggest complaints about my therapist is that she is too cocky and full of herself. This sort of confirmed by thoughts.

Going along with this, my old t didn't seem to have very good thoughts about this new t either... for those of you who followed my posts during the transition, my old t and my new t would basically trash the other during my sessions.

I was thinking about all of this, and it crossed my mind that my new t always tells me how important it is to stay up to date with all the newest research and stuff and make sure to consult with other professionals in the field, but never mentions anyone specific. And by that, I mean for instance that I asked my t for a referral. And she basically went through a list of names out loud... "Oh I could send you to X- oh wait we aren't friends anymore. Oh theres Y- oh but yeah, I don't talk to her anymore." Etc. I am now wondering if she is the reason why she doesn't stay connected to these people.

Going off of this, and my personal experience with my new t, I am getting to see the sense that she doesn't have a lot of friends in the therapy world. I was wondering if any of you had any thoughts about where I should go from here.

Wow, "oh wait we aren't friends anymore." That's really amazing she would make that statement...like, say it out loud and use it as a reason not to refer you to someone.
So what are your options now? Can you see a different T? And I know it's complicated with your ex-T...but that you thought she was amazing. Can you get recommendations from her? I have been following your posts but as far as your contact with her I think I might have missed what the specific"rules" are for that. I just know you miss her very much.

[CantExplain]

Don't let anyone tell you who to respect.
Judge for yourself who has value.

Trust Your Gut.

Listen To Your Inner Voice.

Take Care Of Yourself.

[healed84]

From your recent posts, its sounds to me like you are looking for a reason to either not like T or leave T. So, I would suggest that you start talking to whoever you need to, to see if you can find a new T. I have seen over the last couple of months, after you come back from your t sessions- you don't reflect on the work you are doing with your T.. It is always something that you don't like, want to chance, how shes not like your old T.. It seems like a waste of everybody's time. You could be absolutely right, she could be a horrible T.. So, I think it is time to do something. I could be wrong, but just because you were in residential treatment and this is the T that you were told to go to, does not mean you have to stay with her. That is a decision for you and your parents.

[Asiablue]

I suggest you ask her to refer back to her list and pick the person on there that she hates the most, cos most likely that's the best person to help you, someone completely opposite to her lol

I agree make your own decisions about people and when you check them out, you can ask if they are willing to work with your T. I've often thought there are people out there who are T's that really NEED T's.

[Favorite Jeans]

I think the fact that your T has to "be friends" with whoever she refers you to is bizarre. You refer people to colleagues whose work you respect not to "friends." This is sort of in keeping with other instances where her ego has been primary, she needs her word to be final and your feelings and ideas are secondary.
Would it be a problem to get names from your pdoc or others you respect? Make some appointments and interview a few Ts on your own?

[Hong Kong Fluey]

I think this is MASSIVELY disrespectful, personally to you and professonally your T.

They should know better

[granite1]

I think that what she said was horrible and maybe she isn't liked by her piers .but I don't see you doing anything to move on or change the situation.it has been difficult for you and this T. you don't like her .maybe ask parents to help you find someone else. clearly if this is as bad as it is said you parents must also see it swimmy. good luck

[FeelTheBurn]

There must be something in the water where you live, Miswimmy. So many "professionals" behaving unprofessionally! This one talking bad about that one, this one revealing her relationships with the others, etc....sheesh!

I'm with the rest of the crowd; listen to your heart. It does seem like you have had quite a few instances where you just don't click with this T. Life's too short, and therapy is too important, to try to get things done with someone you don't like or respect. Lift anchor and sail on!

[Perna]

I have no clue how big my T's therapy "community" is and would not find it very useful to wonder about now liked/disliked someone else is; I have my own problems and cannot imagine working in a larger professional therapy community and how hard that might be.

If I liked my pdoc I'd ask them what they thought/recommended, after I figured out what I wanted.

[ultramar]

Going along with this, my old t didn't seem to have very good thoughts about this new t either

I think it's hard to tell from extrapolation what others really think of her, but only wanting to comment on the above: that of course your old T is not going to like her *at all* --she was vocal about disagreeing with her therapeutic style, how it hurt you more than helped and had a say in removing you from her care. So I think anyone in your old T's position is going to dislike her based on this alone. Who knows what she would think of her without all of this context, so I think her point of view is pretty specific to what happened.

[Littlemeinside]

[quote=Miswimmy1;3239104]Yep- title says it all. I am just getting the sense that no one likes my new t. I had an appointment with my pdoc today, and she was totally unfazed by the things that I was saying about not getting along with new t. She basically said that she had shared clients with her in the past (my t doesn't prescribe meds) and that my t "does her own thing", adding sarcastically, "when you have a specific area of expertise, you don't need anyone else." I found that unsettling because one of my biggest complaints about my therapist is that she is too cocky and full of herself. This sort of confirmed by thoughts.

Going along with this, my old t didn't seem to have very good thoughts about this new t either... for those of you who followed my posts during the transition, my old t and my new t would basically trash the other during my sessions.

I was thinking about all of this, and it crossed my mind that my new t always tells me how important it is to stay up to date with all the newest research and stuff and make sure to consult with other professionals in the field, but never mentions anyone specific. And by that, I mean for instance that I asked my t for a referral. And she basically went through a list of names out loud... "Oh I could send you to X- oh wait we aren't friends anymore. Oh theres Y- oh but yeah, I don't talk to her anymore." Etc. I am now wondering if she is the reason why she doesn't stay connected to these people.

Could she be mirroring your relationships with your friends/ T´s etc. IRL. If she did say it like that, she sounded like a teenager, so perhaps she is trying that tecnique. My former T use to mirror my behaviour all the time. It´s just a thought.