[Wren_]

Does your T actually use the word transference with you at all?

I've never had one that did ... they talk about feelings that come up; about the relationship but not the word transference itself - that I only see here or if I look it up

[sweepy62]

Yes my t uses the word transference

[stopdog]

The one I see has only used the word transference one time.
The other one has never used it.

[confused and dazed]

My T has never ever said those words....some times I wish T would.

[Wren_]

thanks stopdog and confusedanddazed - i was just thinking about it after reading some posts here

sweepy did you mention it first - the word i mean; or did they? do you remember

[BonnieJean]

Mine has talked about it many times but has never used the word transference.

[granite1]

none of my T's have ever used the word transference

[jadedbutterfly]

I haven't heard that from my T.

[1stepatatime]

My T has not used the other "T" word. She is aware of it going on though.

[purplejell]

Mine doesn't say it either. I think it's a more technical term and she generally doesn't label things, just tries to be curious and examine them.

[Wren_]

thanks ... interesting how often it gets used on here; but our therapists (at least mentioned so far) don't use it much themselves

I've never had a T ever mention the word transference, even in passing. I haven't had issues of transference with a therapist though, so I just assume that's why it has never come up.

[Victoria'smom]

6 T's never has been mentioned.

Mine never uses it. I think it's used here because we don't have the persons full history. We can see from our own experiences that a possible transference experience is happening but unlike a T who knows our full story and can say "I think that was how it was with (fill in blank)". We can't. So it'a more appropriate to use the term.

My T has never mentioned it, I had never heard of the word till I came here.

When T once said that he believes that I expect him to react like my father would have, I said outright: "That's textbook transference, right?" Upon which he shrugged and said "So &@#€ what?" By which he meant that the terminology is of course important, but it doesn't actually matter that it is transference, because it manifests differently in different people and the relevant thing is what is actually going on with me.

He's not all that Freudian in his outlook. He is psychodynamic so obviously Freud is around somewhere, but his main principle is that theoretical frameworks are good servants but poor masters. With which I agree.

[bunnylove45]

Mine has never used it and I didn't know what the word was until I researched 'falling for your therapist' and wound up on this site.

I've used transference and counter-transference in the session. He doesn't reply to that, but says we can talk about 'feelings'.

Maybe transference is old school?

[anilam]

I was the one to bring it up- he looked kind of suprised.

[tinyrabbit]

My T has used it. He has talked about how sometimes when I refer to conversations we've had or things he's said, they come back completely differently "through the transference". And when I asked if my acting out was actually useful, he said: "Well, it tells me about your transference."

[Hopelesspoppy]

I've been thinking the same thing. In 13 years of a deeply intimate personal T relationship (initiated by him) the word only came up in the context of my studies. I think it's by design- as though they are in as deep denial as we are/were.

[Jdog123]

My T has described the definition/process without ever having uttered the word itself. I have, though, once or twice, but she never repeated it. Interesting... I wonder if either it's become a negatively-charged word in the T community or if it's like identity, globalization, etc., and its overuse has rendered it meaningless? Great question!

[rainbow8]

Thanks for a great thread, tigergirl! We've all got to ask our Ts why they don't use the word "transference" now! I've seen 5 Ts, and I don't recall anyone using the T word unless I brought it up, and even then, it was used sparingly. If I remember, I'll ask my T about it tomorrow. This is VERY interesting.

I know they never used it because I was never clear about whether it's pronounced TRANSference, or transFERence. If I would have heard them say it, I would have known.

[skysblue]

I suspect that many T's would not find labeling our feelings as useful to the therapeutic process. We can get bogged down by those labels.

[sweepy62]

They mentioned transference first tiger girl

Words have power. But I have read a lot Ts don't give these feelings a label. Or believe transference exists.