[sweepy62]

First I would like to thank everyone for thier replies and concerns, you guys are family to me, for those who have been keeping up with my posts , I have been struggling these past two weeks with emotional distress, insecurities, questions, ups and downs, even resorting to smoking pot, flashbacks, anger towards t, resentment, abandonment issues, transference towards male group t.
catastrophising (sorry for mispelling) about everything.

Topics I wanted to discuss as soon as I got into our room ( within 55 min)

1. Transference, wanting to go back into group needing valid reasons to keep me away from group.

2.Not answering my voice mail while in crisis
3.Struggling with flashbacks (csa) nightmares
4 Insecure about therapy and trust issues
5.Therapy once a week instead of every two weeks
6 Inappropriate behavior by my friends boyfriend towards me that threw me into a series of serious flashbacks which led me to call crisis hotline

Topics actually discussed in session:
I didnt do it in a specific order I was rambling on I was so anxious so these were the topics discussed.

1. Voice mail ..... She was deeply apologetic because she did not get the voice mail, I belive her because in the past she has answered my calls. She felt horrible, she called the hot line admin and they advised her that I did call, she was deeply apologetic.

2. Friends boyfriend inappropriate behavior....Not a safe place for me, I shouldnt visit there anymore and of course not smoke pot anymore, he is not a safe person and crossed boundaries with me, we are processing what happened that day, and working on those flashbacks and coping skills.

3.Pushing people away as soon as I start to feel close to them or trust them, especially in a therapy setting... She notices a trend with me that as soon as I started feeling a connection with her and started opening up, I started shutting down slowly, because she knows I have abandonment issues and wants me not to push her away, she told me to let her help me, that she is not going anywhere, she also told me that she knows the fact that when she pulled me from group because of the transference affected the connection we had, and we are working on strenghthing the connection again.

Transference..... At this point there was only ten minutes left in the session and as you can imagine I was all wound up, and had to do a bit of relaxation skills. I did not want to discuss this at this time because I knew we did not have time, so I opted just to wind down the session going over coping skills. What do you guys think?

[Wren_]

Looks like a mostly good session from what you said and that you accomplished a lot
I know you wanted to discuss the transference more and that you will need to do it soon ... it does seem like it was a better choice though to opt to wind down with some coping skills instead rather than jumping into a topic that would have unsettled you further

what do you think of how the session went? are you pleased/ok with it?

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

Looks like a mostly good session from what you said and that you accomplished a lot
I know you wanted to discuss the transference more and that you will need to do it soon ... it does seem like it was a better choice though to opt to wind down with some coping skills instead rather than jumping into a topic that would have unsettled you further

what do you think of how the session went? are you pleased/ok with it?

Thank you Tiger girl, yes I wasnt emotionally equipped to handle anymore, I was too stressed, I breathed a sigh a relief that I will see her next week now I can address the transference thing and other topics that are really bothering me as well, I have been struggling emotionally, and I thank pc so much for being there every step of the way with me.

[Syra]

Sounds like you did a lot of good work - and that you feel good about the session?

[Wren_]

I'm glad you can address them next week

[sweepy62]

The session went totally the opposite of what I imagined , I in no way thought it was going to be deep or emotional, I went in there angry confused full of resentment and agitated and it turned kind of of into an emotional mush. I did get some work processed . I almost was in tears, that would be some sort of therapy miracle because I hold back.

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[Syra]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

The session went totally the opposite of what I imagined , I in no way thought it was going to be deep or emotional, I went in there angry confused full of resentment and agitated and it turned kind of of into an emotional mush. I did get some work processed . I almost was in tears, that would be some sort of therapy miracle because I hold back.

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[growlycat]

Good to hear that things are turning around w/t. !!!

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so glad things went so well and you got so much accomplished!

[sweepy62]

Thanks Miguelsmom, its not an easy road, and there is still much too accomplish, she is asking for complete trust, right now, I am feeling like a bit of an emotional wreck, this has to be built back up slowly again,in due time I think, I am still dealing with so much, these mood swings and my h lack of understanding of them arent helping much but heck, what can I do? except ride them out and hope for the best, at least I dont have to wait as long to process my feelings anymore, she said I could switch as I want from every week to every 2 weeks as I see fit.

[CantExplain]

Sounds like a good session. I admire your courage.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Sounds like a good session. I admire your courage.

Thank you, CantExplain, I just went in there and started blurting stuff out, I was so overwhelmed with everything, I still am, although we didnt process everything, its a head start for me, and we can continue on, I am still feeling overwhelmed with things, but I use pc as my safety net in between sessions because it really does help me.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm so happy to hear that there's an explanation for the voicemail situ

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

I'm so happy to hear that there's an explanation for the voicemail situ

me too tr I was relieved, I jumped to every conclusion there was, she told me she would have called the minute she had a free moment and would have scheduled me for an earlier appt as well.