Awkward conversations w/Ts

I know that there are those normal awkward topics.. I.E- sex, intimacy, body issues, etc..

I have found that I dreaded talking about those issues, but really when it got down to it, it was that bad talking about that stuff. However, T and I talked about something that I truly found awkward.. We were talking about love. In specific, talking about loving (or not loving) my h. I have long since admitted that I am pretty deficient in emotions and feelings crap. But- I told T I am not sure that I love my H, mainly because I really don't know what the heck love is..

I find it so interesting, that I found myself much more uncomfortable talking about the concept of romantic love with my T, much more uncomfortable than talking about something like sex.

I don't find talking about sex difficult but can find areas about me being,for example,
relatively gentle with students to be quite impossible.

My areas of comfort and discomfort can be broken down in these categories:

Comfort:
Facts. I can tell you pretty much any fact about my life and I'll be ok.

Discomfort:
Emotions. I can't say what I actually feel about things without finding it really difficult.
When it has to do specifically with ME. Not what I've been doing, but me at my core.

Thank you so much for this.... I can so relate. I have a life long boyfriend and I don´t know what I feel towards him. We are together for nearly 4 years and I´m not able to tell him I love him. I find this very difficult as well as he does. I don´t know how I´m suppose to feel either.
I was able to tell T every fact of my childhood but it just felt like it is not mine. How can I process these things when I do not have emotional reaction?

Stopdog: I wonder ...are you gentle with your students form your point of view? How do you think they see you? If you find also difficult to write about it here don´t worry about answering this.

No, from my point of view I am not. The therapist insists I am. Some students do seem to gravitate towards me. The therapist seems to think it improbable all of them are masochists.

I need to bring up a really embarrassing subject... Lax abuse (& the effects) but just don't know how or where to start. It's embarrassing, humiliating. I feel so bad. I look average size wise so no one would have any idea what I am doing to myself. I am afraid as I know I am damaging my body but can't tell anyone.

I thought that maybe when I was telling my Therapist about our common backgrounds that it might get a bit akward, but it ended up not going that path.

This is not as uncommon as you think, especially in eating disorders. You might want to go to that forum to see how others have addressed this subject. Just reading posts on these forums I have discovered that lots of things that I thought were unique to me are really quite common. Also, my go to for things I can't talk about are to write them to my t in a letter. Could you try that?

I know exactly how you feel. I'm addicted to laxatives as well. I have been since 2009. I'm also bulimic and have been since I was 14. I don't know the best advice to give on how to bring it up other than maybe trying to write it down and let her read it in session if you can't read it to her. Or iust trying blurting it out during session one day when it is on the tip of your tongue...that is how I got it out...I've only been in therapy going on 2 months now so it is not an easy subject for me to talk about as well. I feel shame and embarrassment when brought up.

Thank you so much for your message - it means so much. It is so good to know I am not alone (still afraid!) but your suggestion re writing it down is good and I think I could do that. Thank you so much. I am so sorry to read you are Suffering too. It's so secretive and hidden. It's good to connect here. Thank you again.

Thank you. I will go to that forum. Thanks too for your support and suggestions. I am really touched that you replied. Thank you.