Do you think this forum represents how "most" clients respond to therapy?

For example, so many people here report getting upset and having abandonment fears when their T goes on vacation. Or how about the strong dependency that many of us feel?

I was reading in one of my textbooks that provided an (bad) example of a T attempting to force a client to say she was upset that the T was going on vacation. In fact, the client had no feelings of those sorts and was not bothered by T's leaving. In other words, the T just expected that the client had abandonment fears. (T had her own issues)

That got me to thinking about the make-up of clients.... and if what is on the internet represents the majority of clients in therapy???

[WikidPissah]

No.

I think that people tend to reach out for help and support in a forum like this when they are having a difficult time. So this forum only represents the percentage of clients struggling. When people do well they tend to back off from PC.

Personally...I come here for support, but I don't have abandonment issues in T. I tended to like it when T went away, because I saw it as a break. I considered T to be like school...good for me, but I didn't enjoy it. There are a lot of people like me who don't struggle with the tormenting abandonment issues.

I suspect people on this forum are perhaps more focused on their therapy than the general "therapy population". There does seem to be more incidence of abandonment problems and rupture problems than what is probably prevalent outside this forum. I know of quite a few people in therapy outside of this forum, and honestly never ran into abandonment fears and ruptures until I found this forum, which I found in researching something entirely different from therapy.

[Asiablue]

Good question! And one i have no answer for. I'm guessing though that those most in need of help, those most vulnerable in therapy are the ones looking for support online??

Could be wrong tho.

[healed84]

I agree with wiki.. I think the people who seek out support from here, probably having more of a difficult time presently. If you notice, the people (myself included) who are having issues with abandonment, transference, ruptures are people who have some kind of past trauma, abuse, history of being neglected or left. And that does not represent the whole population of those in therapy.. I think that sometimes, this forum can fuel some of the issues we may have with Ts.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I agree with the rest of the folks here. I think that those here are those most likely having issues with therapy and need support. I would be willing to bet if you polled all those coming out of a therapists office in a day, most would not have the kind of concerns that we see here. Thank God that a place like this exists for those of us who do need a little more support.

[stopdog]

From the literature it appears to be fairly comon for people to get unsettled by things such as he therapist and vacations. Not eveyone, but enough for therapists to write about it and forums such as this to have people go on about it. This is. On the other forum I read and the others have the same things come up.
I think the people here are fairly representative of therapy consumers.

[feralkittymom]

No. Not just to the abandonment fears, ruptures, etc, but just in terms of general satisfaction with therapy. Most who post here are motivated to post because of problems they're having, not because they're happy customers. Just as the proportion of bad Ts on PC is statistically way higher than in total practice.

[growlycat]

I am probably more therapy focused than the general therapy-seeking population, but I'm also pretty motivated. And I am very happy with both forms of therapy I am in.

I probably do obsess about it more than most, but I think for me anyways, I'm doing alright.

[PeeJay]

Sometimes I wonder why I read this forum so much. (But usually on my phone, so it's a PITA to post responses.)

I think it's because therapy was the first time in my adult life, or teen life, where I had someone care about me and listen to me and try to get me, without asking for emotional support in return.

My friends who come from good families take this for granted. But my emotional needs were always discounted and for the most part, I'm ashamed to even have them.

So I read this forum to help myself not be so scared to open up in therapy. And also, I can't get enough of therapy-related things. I'm so *hungry* for knowledge and information about therapy relationships.

Also, I find therapy to be such a mystery, still. I don't get it, I don't get why or how it works, I don't get exactly what I'm supposed to be doing there.

I do know that it has helped keep me alive and it helps me be a less anxious person.

I bet these forums have a lot of lurkers.

[Lexi232]

You know, i was JUST thinking that last night, and even more so this morning... I dont think it's a representation of those in therapy..
I think (this is just in my opinion), that most who have those issues and fears, are on here more because it helps them cope (just like almost every other part of this forum), and those who dont have those fears, or issues, may rarely come by this part of the forum because they are working on other issues.. So that is likely why it seems like it's so much of an almost every person with these fears.

To be honest, there are somethings that really make me think. and it makes me glad that it's not one of my many issues. And at the same time, i feel really bad for the T's.
I had a simliar reaction when i found out that the majority of people that were in my age group at that time, thought tv was real, and that people in the shows were who their characters were, they didn't realize that it was just their character, and character name, not who they really were. And like how i see people treat justin brebier (sp?).. I can't remember a time (other than news and weather people), that i thought all of it was real, and i knew from early on what an actor/actress was. so... that's my thoughts and opinions on it.

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

I suspect people on this forum are perhaps more focused on their therapy than the general "therapy population". There does seem to be more incidence of abandonment problems and rupture problems than what is probably prevalent outside this forum. I know of quite a few people in therapy outside of this forum, and honestly never ran into abandonment fears and ruptures until I found this forum, which I found in researching something entirely different from therapy.

I think the people you know might just be hiding their true feelings for what they feel with the therapy. I use this forum to post about therapy, but I don't let those feelings effect my life outside of therapy.

Originally Posted by Lycanthrope

I think the people you know might just be hiding their true feelings for what they feel with the therapy.

No, not really, but you are entitled to believe that.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Lexi232

I had a simliar reaction when i found out that the majority of people that were in my age group at that time, thought tv was real, and that people in the shows were who their characters were, they didn't realize that it was just their character, and character name, not who they really were. And like how i see people treat justin brebier (sp?).. I can't remember a time (other than news and weather people), that i thought all of it was real, and i knew from early on what an actor/actress was. so... that's my thoughts and opinions on it.

That's interesting - I was shocked when I heard a younger person talk about aspirin or something like that, quoting a tv commercial as if it were factual. They were saying something weird about it, really unprovable, like it acts 10 times faster - I mean it wasnt that, but something weird like that, that was so blatantly hype, so obviously a lie - but the kid took it as truth and was preaching it to someone else. I was like, omg, what is going on here?

Most people with abandonment issues aren't in therapy. I think these forums attract a younger generation. That are more prone to be still in the discovering themselves and the world so this gets all rolled into other issues.
'Emo' comes to mind when I read some of the posts.

[Otter63]

I haven't read many of the threads in the therapy sections, but I have been surprised at the number of them. I have had a T a handful of times and only for short periods of time.

I don't have one now and maybe I should. So hard to find one who is a good match.

[Nerak67]

It has helped me to hear others speak of transference issues as I thought I was really lame for being so needy etc.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by hankster

That's interesting - I was shocked when I heard a younger person talk about aspirin or something like that, quoting a tv commercial as if it were factual. They were saying something weird about it, really unprovable, like it acts 10 times faster - I mean it wasnt that, but something weird like that, that was so blatantly hype, so obviously a lie - but the kid took it as truth and was preaching it to someone else. I was like, omg, what is going on here?

This feels like a surprise to me too...but then I took a hike in a really beautiful place. There was a waterfall and a high alpine lake -- it was tremendously beautiful and I thought to myself: This looks like an expensive hotel with an endless pool and fountain. And then, I thought, NO THIS IS REAL. THIS IS NATURE.

It was so obviously NOT FAKE but it seemed unreal. I could only relate it to something that had been manufactured and advertised to me.

I think this says more about the power and ubiquitous nature of advertising images than any one of us, or any particular generation. It's all around us -- hype.

[growlycat]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Most people with abandonment issues aren't in therapy. I think these forums attract a younger generation. That are more prone to be still in the discovering themselves and the world so this gets all rolled into other issues.
'Emo' comes to mind when I read some of the posts.

maybe I'm emo at 41

[ShrinkPatient]

Originally Posted by healed84

I agree with wiki.. I think the people who seek out support from here, probably having more of a difficult time presently. If you notice, the people (myself included) who are having issues with abandonment, transference, ruptures are people who have some kind of past trauma, abuse, history of being neglected or left. And that does not represent the whole population of those in therapy.. I think that sometimes, this forum can fuel some of the issues we may have with Ts.

I agree totally. I have endured past trauma, neglect, abuse and abandonment. Not everyone in therapy is there for those issues. If patient hasn't had those issues I don't know that they can be compared to those of us that do. I have no issues with heights or elevators so my T doesn't approach my therapy as if I do and I am sure I don't react to my T in the same way those patients might. Also, if I weren't struggling, I probably wouldn't be on here asking for and needing support. I can only speak to my own issues.

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[0w6c379]

I was perfectly matched with my T. We had a great relationship. Then, he blew it all. I am devastated. I'll never meet anyone like him again. He probably could care less. I'll never get over the betrayal and loss.

Originally Posted by Tollhouse

Do you think this forum represents how "most" clients respond to therapy?

I find this forum really bizarre the way people relate to their Ts. I have always had strictly professional therapist, no emails or calls out of hours, I know nothing of their lives, nor do I really care. I have never felt especially connected to any of them really. Some I have taken more away from than others, but they have all had something to contribute to my healing. I've never had a problem with them going on holidays or missing appointments etc. They are only human and have their own lives to worry about, which is none of my business. I see them to treat me and that is it, the rest of the time it is up to me cope with the skills I have learned.

[Nerak67]

Originally Posted by Supanova

I find this forum really bizarre the way people relate to their Ts. I have always had strictly professional therapist, no emails or calls out of hours, I know nothing of their lives, nor do I really care. I have never felt especially connected to any of them really. Some I have taken more away from than others, but they have all had something to contribute to my healing. I've never had a problem with them going on holidays or missing appointments etc. They are only human and have their own lives to worry about, which is none of my business. I see them to treat me and that is it, the rest of the time it is up to me cope with the skills I have learned.

I envy you. I never would have understood the power of transference until it happened to me. It is very consuming and painful.

Originally Posted by Nerak67

I envy you. I never would have understood the power of transference until it happened to me. It is very consuming and painful.

And I am thankful I have never experienced it.

I hope I have not offended but I have a lot of friends in therapy and none have had issues with getting too attached or involved with their therapists lives. I wonder if it is to do with living in such a different society?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

No.

I think that people tend to reach out for help and support in a forum like this when they are having a difficult time. So this forum only represents the percentage of clients struggling. When people do well they tend to back off from PC.

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

I suspect people on this forum are perhaps more focused on their therapy than the general "therapy population". There does seem to be more incidence of abandonment problems and rupture problems than what is probably prevalent outside this forum. I know of quite a few people in therapy outside of this forum, and honestly never ran into abandonment fears and ruptures until I found this forum, which I found in researching something entirely different from therapy.

Originally Posted by Asiablue

Good question! And one i have no answer for. I'm guessing though that those most in need of help, those most vulnerable in therapy are the ones looking for support online??

Could be wrong tho.

I agree with these.