Do T and I have a relationship?

This is exactly the way I feel. She has pulled me through a hellish time trying to cope with PTSD when no previous Ts could never do. I know she probably doesn't care about me the same way I care about her, as I know this is a client/professional relationship. It's confusing though. I had a childhood where no one was there for me, and here someone, while "paid" to listen, is at least listening. Therefore, this is not FAKE.

One doesn't have to do a certain thing or spend a certain length of time together. It's what happens in the moment.

I love this!

I think it depends how you define "real". Let's be honest, most Ts do care within limits of their salary (which is not that low at all). You pay them for "caring", proving solutions, teaching you skills and helping you out. That's all part of the contract. They may care on the humane level, but they aren't your friend. They likely will not go liking your funnies on facebook or go shoe shopping with you, or help shovel your driveway or walk your dog... things that friends do for friends in various occasions.

Yes, there is the money factor. You pay for service. Service that includes "caring". It's one sided. You don't have to care back. If you do, that is your "choice" but T will most likely not ditch you if you don't care for their life... whereas friend would likely.

It's not a standard relationship. And trouble comes when you try to mold your real life relationships by the therapy relationship.

Don't forget, the brain cant distinguish sometimes between what is real and what isnt. If you smile, it can think you're really happy. If the train next to you moves, it thinks you're moving when actually your train is staying still. So the setting is conducive to changing your brain, which is what therapy is about.

Per my therapist at today's session: We have a contract.

Sounds like a business deal. Not a real relationship.

Of course (since I'm an emotional person) I left feeling somewhat...crappy.

But that's what marriage is - a contract. An institution.

It is what you make of it.

It IS a business arrangement. It is paying a professional for their services.
That is not a bad thing.

It's not a bad thing except that feelings are involved. It's more of an intimate emotional relationship than that between any other professional and client. It's more physical with a medical doctor. He may cut into your heart physically, but a T can touch your heart emotionally. There's anesthesia when a surgeon does it, but not when a T does. I hope that graphic analogy isn't too yucky for anyone. It's just my feeling right now.

I don't find the analogy yucky. It does not resonate with me personally, but I understand it may fit others.

Oh, stopdog. You're so predictable. In a comfortable, endearing way. Thank you.

Ahem! My point actually made sense and related to the issue at hand, instead of diverting away from it thru various channels and etc! Marriage is a contract and it's supposed to be emotional and junk like that. And historically it wasn't between equals - that is pretty recent - so maybe marriage isn't a real relationship. Oh - so that's why you all ignored it. Ha. Hmm. Never mind.

hankster, I agree with you. Marriage IS a contract, but it sure is a real relationship, isn't it?! You made your point well. Having a contract doesn't negate it being a real relationship, but yeah, maybe that's why these days so many don't want that contract. It gives them responsibilities, but I don't want to hijack. I didn't mean to ignore your post; I'm just triggered by my own stuff right now.